


my love ain't high, can't get enough of your love, babe

by Neversaynotoarainbow



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Assistant Manager!Parrish, Blue has fun and is a cheeky monkey, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Grocery clerks!Blue and Ronan, M/M, Misunderstandings, Moviestar!Gansey, Mutual Pining, Opal is wild thing, PRguys!Noah and Henry, Sort of? - Freeform, based off a movie, but they are a little older and wiser, everyone gets the hugs they need, not everyone has their shit together, win a date au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-04
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2020-07-31 03:59:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20108800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neversaynotoarainbow/pseuds/Neversaynotoarainbow
Summary: After a drunken misunderstanding leads to a public scandal Movie star Richard Gansey III will have to do something big to save his career, like come out as queer then have a Win-a-date competition for charity. But everyone is not too sure after PR managers and best friends Noah and Henry pick Henrietta Piggly Wiggly employee Ronan Lynch as the winner!Ronan works in the Henrietta Piggly Wiggly with his best friends Blue and Adam. He only enters the competition on a stupid dare from Parrish, he never expected to win.Now everything is changing and Ronan wishes he could go back to his everyday problems of trying to confess his feelings for Adam, wrangling Opal and messing round with Blue.Based on the 90s romcom Win a Date with Tad Hamilton





	1. The Competition

It is twilight, the rain drizzles down on an empty street in the middle of nowhere. A young man in an early war outfit jumps out of his car, and walks towards the car ahead of him. 

In front of him a young woman steps out if the car.  
"Susie-May, wait up!" The man calls. He is limping and walks towards her with a wooden cane. 

The woman turns to face him, she is still wearing her nurse's apron and cap on her head. "Roger?" 

" I got discharged before I could tell you how I felt. Susie-May, I love you." 

They embrace and begin to sway as romantic music swells in the background. 

The credits begin to roll. 

Blue, Ronan and Adam sit side by side in the dingy movie theatre.

Adam scoffs as Blue and Ronan sigh dramatically. "Come on! You guys can't really have bought that! THAT? As an ending?" 

Ronan levels Adam a withering glance then turns to Blue. " Blue, what did you think?" 

"I usually hate hetero bullshit... and I still do. But Richard Gansey is such a good actor!" Blue slyly looked towards Adam to gauge his reaction. 

Honestly, Adam was more than used to it these days. Richard Gansey: famous actor, model, ecologist and adventurer had long ago become an obsessive fixture in their lives. He was, unfortunately, used to this. 

"What do you think Richard Gansey is doing right now? I bet he's saving a rainforest." Blue said. 

Ronan stared wide eyed and adoring at the screen and replied "I bet he's in church.

Adam buried his head in his hands.

xxx

Gansey leaned back on his hands, sitting cross legged on the floor of his apartment. He had been awake for 3 days now, practicing lines and researching his backstory. 15th century clay merchant was a tough one. Coffee cups surround him, balanced on a fortress of books. He needed to sleep and shut off his brain. He had switched to scotch a few hours ago. Gansey reached for the ornate vintage bottle and brought it to his lips, surprised to find it empty. The bottle shop was just around the corner. Gansey shakily stood and walked into the hall. He shrugged into a warm woollen overcoat which contrasted nicely with his ratty striped pyjamas. After that everything was a blur. 

Gansey is nudged awake the next morning, looking up at two very grumpy faces.

Noah and Henry stare down a him, both confused and disappointed, familiar looks on them both.

Gansey flailed and spluttered. 

"Up all night again? Really Dick3?" Henry admonished. 

Gansey sighed, the use of his least favourite nickname signalling he was really in for it.

"The journey was worth it, I suppose." Noah said.

"Can someone please tell me what I did?" Gansey groaned.

Henry held a tabloid up to his face. "GOOD BOY GANSEY GONE OFF THE RAILS" titled with blurred photographs telling the story of Gansey's drunk adventure. Punching a guy at the bottle shop, a gun in the edge of frame perfectly in focus. Gansey vomiting on the sidewalk. Gansey slumped against his front door with blood trickling down his forehead. 

"It's not a pretty picture, bud. Neither are you right now by the way." Henry noted as Gansey reached up a felt the blood crusted into his hair.

He sat there, stunned and stupefied. 

Henry and Noah lifted him up and got him inside, finding his keys in his shoe. Noah gently wiped off the blood and applied antiseptic. Henry paced and lectured about the damage this will do to his image and public persona. 

" You are a family figure! A household name! You CAN'T be photographed drunk and holding up a liquor store!" 

"Well, um actually.." Gansey stutters. 

Henry looks ready to blow, by Noah shushes him with a touch to the arm. 

" Someone else.. was holding up the liquor store... I tried to stop them. I punched them.. but I think I broke my thumb," Gansey held up his hand this thumb bruised purple and jutting out at the wrong angle. 

"Shit." Henry breathed. 

The story rushed out of Gansey, the photos helped his memory. His head thudded and he forced short shallow through ribs that were bruised. As he raised his hand to stroke his lip, he feels the itch and tight pain of scabbed bruised knuckles. Gansey, right now, was the picture of everything he detested.

"I go to the same store every time. Rahjeet is delightful and shows me pictures of his kids Mim his eldest is going to college next year, the youngest just started primary school." Gansey shifted awkwardly, talking to his feet, but looking up for once both Henry and Noah were listening.  
"So you see I couldn't let him get robbed, these guys weren't even wanting to take stock, all they wanted was to destroy things. Bored, high, angry I don't know, probably all three. As soon as they saw me I was a new toy to them. It was fight or flight." Gansey shrugged then groaned in pain.

"Well, no two guesses which one you chose old chap." Henry said flippantly.

"My dad throws money at people not punches. I was hopeless. They punched me in the gut and kicked me too. That... that is when I escaped. I was sick on the pavement. Then I could remember where I put my keys. Almost as good as a night with my mother's political friends, only less shady characters." Gansey smiled weakly.

"You're an idiot." Noah remarked.

Gansey sighed, imagining how much worse his family's reaction would be. 

Xxx

Noah and Henry took Gansey to his doctor, the same one that signed an NDA every time Gansey renewed his antidepressant subscription. She is concerned but patches Gansey up, gives him pain killers and another lecture on the longterm health risks of insomnia.

They drove home, Henry quiet, brow furrowed in the back seat. 

Noah whispered gently breaking the silence "I think it will work, just tell him."

Gansey looks expectant. 

Henry blew out a breathe and tried to order his thoughts so other people will understand, never an easy task. "It's PR right? The truth doesn't matter, only who tells the story first."

Noah nodded . 

"You are a violent drunk now."

"Hey!" Gansey cried. 

"To them. We can't change the story. Sooo we need a new one altogether." 

"A competition!" Noah cries, " we say you want to prove how nice you are to your fans. You take one of them out on a date!" 

"Okaay..." Gansey says in the universal language meaning no. 

"No no no this is PERFECT!" Noah began to bounce up and down . "We can use this as your coming OUT! You keep saying you want to do it! Say you are pansexual-"

"Explain what that means. No definitely not attracted to kitchenware, madam." Henry interjects.

"Yeah, yeah all that," Noah flaps at Henry. He is on a roll, a rare and invigorating sight. "You have a fee, donate it all to queer youth in need. Problem solved."

"I don't think it is quite that easy Noah." Gansey said, but somehow he knew Noah would get his way.

One week later. 

"Oh my gawd, oh my gawd, oh my gawd RONAN! YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS!" Blue charged into the Piggly Wiggly with her uniform askew and her hair barely contained by a multitude of clips. 

Adam had worked there since high school and was now Assistant Manager. Blue joined soon after, happy to escape Ninos, Ronan finally relinquished and joined.

"What now?" Ronan asked not even looking up from the shelf he is restocking with canned spaghetti. 

Adam sees and makes a beeline to them. As the assistant manager he wears a red gingham tie, instead of the red gingham patterned shirts Blue and Ronan have to wear, which is almost worse. 

"Time is an ocean, and a circle." She replies smugly, like she does every time she is late. 

"What is it?" Ronan asked again, impatient now. 

"Guess who's queer?" Blue looked gleeful.

"If you say the pizza delivery guy one more time," Ronan warned. 

"No." Blue held up her phone open on a tabloid site. 

Ronan peers at the screen and reads "GANSEY CONQUERED THE WORLD AND NOW HE WANTS TO DATE IT TOO" 

"Is this fucken clickbait?" He replied. 

"I thought you guys hated him now?" Adam asked genuinely confused. 

"Are you kidding?" Blue replied, " He got in a drunken brawl and then announced to the world he is interested in men. I think we just found Lynch's dream guy!"

Blue smirked at Ronan watching his face heat up at the words. 

"Well it says here you can enter a competition to date him?" Adam teased. 

For a moment Ronan stood frozen at the sounds of all those vowels worn down and softened through Adam's lips. He shook him head to try rid himself of those thoughts. Adam would never love him back. 

Blue laughed at him. "Deny it all you want!" She cackled. 

A small feral child in a beanie and big stomping boots ran down the aisle and crash landed into him. "KERAH!" Opal cried, throwing her arms around Ronan's waist. Ronan grasped at the tray of tin cans he was restocking stopping them from crashing into the floor.

"What are you doing here, you little hailstorm?" He gripped onto her tightly as she burrowed her head against his stomach.

Opal spread her mouth wide into a toothy grin revealing many, likely stolen, gummy worms. It was either a greeting or an answer, probably both. 

Ronan finished his shift with Opal trailing behind him singing along to the stereo. Ronan had long ago accepted these things as a part of his life. So much so that they created a soft little ache in his chest thinking of them.

xxx

After work they all went to the local pub Cabeswater, the one closer to Ninos. Even though they were likely to find Maura and Blue's aunts there, they were unlikely to run into Adams dad. The Fox Way ladies usually turned evenings into a long night of stiff drinks, faux-serious tarot readings and very serious game of darts. It definitely wasn't the worst option. 

Blue leant against the bar, drunkenly pointing a finger at Ronan and smiling in a way that meant a plan was brewing. 

Ronan frowned. He knew his current plan of 'drinking until he courage to admit his feelings to Parrish only to chicken out at the last moment' was ruined. A standard Friday night. Afterwards Ronan would sober up as he made Adam laugh as much as physically possible. All in all, he considered, a good night. 

Ronan is already up to phase two. Adam sat beside him clutching his stomach red-faced and choking on air in reaction to Ronan's asshole comment. 

"You know...," Blue peers at them, "I think you should enter!" 

"Fuck no!" 

"The money goes to a queer youth charity... certainly a better use of your money than paying for jeans with designer holes in them!" Blue argued. 

Parrish laughed, a sudden uncontained huff. "YES! OH GAWD YES! I would PAY to see Ronan trying to woo a movie-star!" Parrish stumbled trying to steady himself and his pint at the same time. Lightweight, Ronan thought.

Ronan scowled as deep and dark as he could in face of such adorkableness, "You would? Or you will?" 

Adam, seeing the challenge in Ronan's eyes, straightened up to his full height, "I will." He turned back to Blue making grabby hands "Phone." 

Blue looks smugly at Ronan before handing it over. Adam thumbs through the phone, looking for the competition website.

Ronan has a really, really bad feeling about this.

xxx

Henry felt his eyes begin to droop, and was confused why he let Noah decide the competition criteria. Video submission, really?

Ten hours later, he had truly seen everything. The ones that cry- softly, loudly, snottily, and scarily aggressive. The one that argue- why they are the bestest most amazing, totally more deserving of anyone else, fan ever. The ones that threat- how they can’t live without touching Richard’s face? They’ll die if they don’t meet him, how they’ll never get over it. The ones that use this competition like a talent quest. Singing sappy love songs, tap dancing, parkouring through skate parks.

Henry had worked hard to cultivate Gansey’s universal appeal, now he wonders if they tried a little too hard.

He stood up and retrieved an energy drink from the bar fridge, sitting down and loading another entry.

The video opened on a shark grey BMW, old but not vintage model, in front of a small town Piggly Wiggly Store carpark.

A guy steps out of the car, hand on the roof. “Hi, I’m Ronan and this is my life.” The camera follows Ronan’s back as he walks into the store.

The light adjusts and the camera swivels so Ronan is next to the young man holding the camera. There is a woman next to them so short she is barely visible while the top of Ronan’s shaved head is cropped off.

“And we’re his best friends,” they say in sing-song unison.

“I’m Blue” the woman says, she looks to the boy holding the camera phone.

“And I’m Adam.”

Shouting comes from offscreen as a small blonde creature hurdled into Ronan’s chest. The camera turns to looks deep into the child’s bright muddy eyes “Kerah!!!”

Ronan huffs, “Is that your name, kid?”

“No. Kerah is YOUR name!”

“Okay, what is your name then?”

“Opal”

At this Ronan hoists Opal up onto his shoulders so he can walk down the aisles.

The scene changes to empty paddock of a farm, blue sky huge and surrounded by large green trees.

Ronan gestures out with his arms. “This is where I grew up with my brothers.”

He points to a space off camera “My dad was murdered over there. I found him, I was sixteen, really fucked me up.” His eyes had gone dark and impenetrable steel. “I never got to come out to my parents, I grew up feeling like how I am is wrong.”

Blue appears in a homemade outfit of shredded t-shirts to hug Ronan fiercely as he lifts her off the ground. Ronan looks up at the camera, eyes shining “Come on, get in here Parrish.”

The next shot is indoors, a comfy but well off living room. Ronan crouched on the floor ruffling the fur of a German Shepard. “I think it is really cool what Richard Gansey has done, coming out. And the queer charity, sounds like something I coulda used back then. So this crappy video is for them and that…”

The woman’s voice shouts from off screen “AND YOU THINK RICHARD IS CUTE AS SHIT!”

Ronan glares up at her.

The final shot is Ronan doing burnouts in a muddy field with a rainbow flag screaming “FUCK IT!! BE QUEER!!” kicking mud up everywhere.

The video ended and Henry smiled. Then he watched it again. Then he showed the others.

He wasn’t ultimately sure why he picked this one. Other than he did not want to watch another video submission ever. Something about the video spoke to him. And Gansey too, no-one else even mentioned the charity or talked about Gansey like he was …normal. Not a thing to be in a zoo.

xxx

They were at the bar, Cabeswater, again after work.

They had made and sent off the video a couple of weeks ago. Ronan still couldn’t believe he agreed to do that. That he did that. A few years ago, he would never be honest like that. Honest in a way not meant for blood force trauma and maximum impact.

He sat on his usual booth in the corner, the place was small, dingy and dimly lit but he loved it.

The owner was an old English codger, who had come for a visit to investigate paranormal phenomenons in Henrietta and then never left. He was loud, awkward and always had a dog simply named Dog with him. But if Ronan was being honest, Roger Malory was not the problem.

The problem was the bartender Tad Carruthers who followed Adam every time they were in there. Ronan wasn’t stupid enough to think he was the only queer person in Henrietta and he certainly wasn’t blind to Adam’s beauty or strength of heart. But Tad Carruthers, really?

Blue thought it was hilarious and made Adam buy them nearly every single round of drinks, just to want Tad flirt harder and more bluntly.

Tonight, Adam had walked up to the bar, Blue snickering behind him, and squared his shoulders to call out, “Tad?”

Carruthers immediately stopped loading the dishwasher to scamper over to Adam’s side. “Yes, Adam?” hair flick, squinty eyes and an arched brow stared back at him.

“Uhhhhhh…” Parrish was deeply uncomfortable in the face of Tad’s advances yet not hostile.

“What is the object of your desire?” Tad smirked at him, sliding his fingers across the wooden bar.

Parrish flinched and stiffened further. “Beer jug.” 

Ronan could hear his teeth grinding from where he was snooping in their booth.

Tad sighed, slinging his cloth over his shoulder. “One day, one day you will say I am the object of your desire…until then.” Carruthers pushed the full beer jug across the bar trying to brush against Parrish’s fingers.

Ronan turned away. He couldn’t bear to watch anymore or think about how that douchebag had more courage than he had ever had. He couldn’t imagine Parrish saying yes, and if he said no Ronan didn’t think he could bear loosing someone else.

xxx

Adam brought the drinks back to the booth, where Ronan was doing all he could to take up as much space as possible. 

Ronan huffed a rough thank you and poured himself a pint. It was strange that Lynch’s gruff hostility made him feel more comfortable and at home than Tad Carruthers ever could.

Adam joined Blue for a game of darts, their tradition, they played for truth.

Blue beat him viciously, and turned to him, “Hmm… what to ask? What. To. Ask?” her eyes lit with glee. “ Do you know what I like about you Adam?”

“Is that the question?”

“No! I want to know if you’ve told Ronan yet,”.

At this Adam planted his eyes to floor and pulled at the hair that was getting scruffy at the back of his neck.

Blue knocked his arm, “I like that you aren’t bothered being beaten by a woman. I’ve taught you well.”

Adam laughed and tried to turn it into a cough thinking of Blue’s ‘teaching methods’ that involved a lot shouting and pointing.

Blue was not fooled, “Well?”

“I haven’t told him yet. It’s our last summer, I don’t want him to hold a grudge the whole time.”

“It will get worse the longer you wait.”

“Oh yeah, like you’re so great? How long did take you to break up with me? Like a month?”

“Pshaw!” Blue cried .

Adam knew he had to tell Ronan. He wanted to, to prove that he finally did it. He was finally going to college. He was no longer that guy that never left, never got out, never broke free from his trailer park beginnings.

He wanted Ronan to see him as that new person, to see how much more deserving he was of a person like Ronan now. At the same time he knew how Ronan dealt with change.

Adam had this fantasy that he could admit everything to Ronan and they could run away to Georgetown. They would share a tiny apartment together, Adam would study and work in the library or in a local garage. Ronan could work in another Piggly Wiggly, or a bar?

But a bigger part of Adam knew there were lots of problems with his plan. he didn’t think Ronan could bear to leave Opal. And Adam wasn’t sure of Ronan’s feelings. Sometimes, he caught Ronan staring at him with those pale blue eyes, but Ronan was a being built for a love to the point of self destruction. He always cared too much, but that didn’t mean it was love.


	2. The week before

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gansey is a mess.
> 
> Ronan is faking it til he makes it. 
> 
> Blue wishes she could slap everyone upside the head but has to admit that, unfortunately, violence is always the answer.

Ronan drove home to find cameras lining the long drive to the Barns in Singer’s Falls. For a moment the flashing lights against the trees brought Ronan back to another night. 

Ronan turned his music up to pulsing volume and drove with intent to kill, to kick up gravel. He came to a sharp stop outside the Barns. 

The cameras were still there, undeterred, more of them. 

Was this Declan’s handiwork? 

Then, he noticed the banner and the local to national news vans. 

“WINNER OF DATE WITH RICHARD GANSEY III” on bright rainbow satin, was suspended over head. A young reporter looked up and clamoured towards the car. 

Oh, fuck. 

He panicked and called Blue, “Get to the Barns now, bring Parrish.” and because it was Ronan and Ronan never called, she listened. 

He knew he had to step out of the car now, and sighed bracing himself. 

Ronan walked towards the reporter hearing her speech already begun.  
“ A few hours ago Richard Gansey announced the winner of his Charity Date competition. I am here tonight with Ronan Lynch the winner of the Win-a-date competition. A local Piggly Wiggly employee, in Henrietta, West Virginia.” She delivered in a no-nonsense tone. Ronan suddenly saw it through her eyes- him charity- case backwater loser, Richard Gansey III, compound name movie-star and all round too good of a person. 

The reporter turned to Ronan, the camera, lights and boom mike all swinging in his direction with frightening synchronicity, “So Ronan, how does it feel to know that this time next week you will be face to face with your celebrity idol?” 

“Wait? Mic Jagger?” 

The reporter looked confused then frustrated. 

“The charity Richard Gansey supports is really important to me. Knowing his work is a positive role model for queer youth.” There. That didn’t suck. 

The reporter continued to ask him basic questions until Adam Parrish and Blue Sargent came tearing down the drive in the Fox Way car. Blue ran out screaming and frantically babbling and a very amused Parrish trailed behind her. The reporters soon gave up, surely they had enough of him by that point. 

xxx

The next morning Ronan woke up with several missed calls from DickLand Lynch. 

He stomped around the farm, checking on the cows and chickens, the familiar routine settling him in his skin again. In reality, away from flashing cameras and celebrity blind dates, to his real life. 

He was Ronan Lynch, supermarket clerk and slightly reformed juvenile delinquent. He lived at the Barns. He had two brothers, one he loved and one he tolerated. He had two best friends, one he loved and one he pretended to tolerate. 

After a few pleading texts from Matthew, Ronan finally answered Declan’s call. He was back outside in the far paddock, watching the sky turn a soft yellow of late afternoon, as the cows began to settle.

“Is this really how you want to come out?” Declan snapped right off the bat. 

“Uhh.. actually I think you are confused the other guy was the one coming out. I just won a free meal.” 

“Not funny, Ronan.” Declan huffed. “You should have told me before you did any of this!”

“What? Now you want me to notify you every time I enter a Buzzfeed quiz?” Ronan walked up to Bertie, his favourite heifer and slowly stroked her between her eyes.

“No.. just…” He could hear Declan trying, he knew enough now to recognise this stubborn blustering for what it was. 

“Is that chairman guy Steven being an asshole again?” Ronan sighed.

Declan gulped and rasped, “One day I will be the asshole in charge, but not tomorrow and not next week.” 

“I’m not holding back for some arsehole I have never met.” 

Declan huffed, “Knowing you it would only make you try harder if you did meet him.” 

Ronan let out a sharp bark of laughter and startled Bertie. 

“Take care, Ronan.” Declan said before hanging up. When they were younger it always sounded like a reprimand, now it sounded like a prayer. 

“You too.” Ronan murmured and turned back to the house before it got dark. 

xxx

Richard Gansey III stood in the centre of his studio apartment and had one of his patented panic attacks. 

He had tried pacing, breathing, painting cardboard models until his fingers were covered in layers of grey PVA glue and his vision blurred. 

Now he was resorting to standing between the living room and the kitchen panicking. 

What was he thinking? Coming out after the ‘scandal’ of bottle shop incident? And of all things a date? 

Gansey had grown up in old Virginia money society, he knew how to blend, smooth over, support and often blatantly lie. It was what made him such a good actor he believed. The trouble was he wasn’t sure where there was anything underneath anymore, if indeed there ever was… 

And dating. Dating required effortless and genuine connection, quick social reactions. Why he ever thought he could do this, Gansey was not sure. 

Watching the man who had won, Ronan Lynch, as his interview played over and over again on the TV in the living room was not helping. He was not what Gansey had expected in a fan, let alone a date. He was fiercely raw and alive in way that Gansey both respected and envied. To be so confident and honest, like in his video, was something Gansey could never imagine but that he wanted anyway. 

That was the problem, how much he wanted. Of everything. Life, it felt to him, held too many mysteries for one lifetime. Being an actor he could at least pretend to live many different lives. But what was he in truth? Nothing but a professional liar. 

Noah found him slumped on the couch cushions almost asleep late in the afternoon a few hours later. 

“Gansey? I know you aren’t really asleep!” He called out with uncanny premonition before he walked into the room. Gansey ungainly shuffled his body upright again and tried to compose himself. 

Noah’s piercing eyes weren’t fooled but continued on regardless. “The itinerary for the Win-a-Date.” handing over a thick wad of paper. 

“I thought it was only one evening?” 

“Oh yes! Only the first page is the actually itinerary. The rest is rules, dress code, scripted small talk, background info on your man. The works. No second left unchoreographed.” Noah smiled . 

Gansey breathed in deep and sighed. He was both relived and disappointed. 

He realised, stupidly now, he had been imagining this evening with Ronan Lynch as some deep and magical connection. Like in another life they were high school friends or roommates. The satisfaction of feeling known, of being found. 

This was just a PR stunt. A few hours smiling and making nice, then twisted however the media saw fit. On and on. Never ending. 

xxx

Church on Sunday was planning to be Ronan’s refuge from had become a truly unbelievable week. In the space of a week his public identify had been completely transformed. No longer was he Ronan Lynch street car racer, farm boy heir to his own terrible kingdom. Now, he was the public face of Henrietta, queer friendly backwater town. 

It was all hilarious except for the fact that it was now true! Parrish laughed at him for a while before it really sunk in for them both. Ronan would be leaving Henrietta, for a big city, surrounded by fancy fucks trying to convince him to be his poster boy. 

The past few days Parrish had been abrasively sullen and distant. Ronan had teased him with reminders of who had funded this little adventure in the first place. Parrish used to smile ruefully at that, like maybe he understood all those looks that apparently made Richard Gansey the Third pick that video weren’t really for him. They were for a different man, who had stood facing Ronan sun lighting up his sand dirt hair golden and held the camera phone. And been there all along… if only Ronan knew for sure. 

“Oh good to see you Mr Lynch! Not off to Hollywood yet, dear?” Mrs Lidcombe bustled down the aisle, knocking past Ronan cheerfully. 

Ronan, shocked to be referred to as ‘Mr Lynch’, instead of 'the scowl-y one’, forgot to censor himself before replying “Not yet. Fucking Friday.”

Mrs Lidcombe bristled and crossed herself disapprovingly before shuffling down the pew to sit next to her sister. 

Declan eventually arrived, bringing a sleepy-eyed and bed-headed Matthew Lynch in tow. They shuffled into the spot left for them on the pew, the same one they sat at every week. Ronan tried to ignore the uncomfortable feeling of space that was never there when he was a child, when his parents would drive, not him. The feeling was contrasted with the bitter sweet sensation of Matthew and then Declan side by side. All the Lynches in a row. Alone but together. 

Ronan usually prayed for atonement. Prayed for courage and absolution. This week he just prayed nothing would change between this moment and the next time his body would settle in this sacred space. 

In the past, nothing changing had seemed like a nightmare. Now he could imagine nothing better than returning to Henrietta. To Opal running up and down aisles, to Blue’s latest fashion experiments, to Adam Parrish in a shopping cart hurdling through the carpark after closing. 

xxx

Gansey had been avoiding his mother. He had past experience in exactly what sort out action this would lead to but he was still surprised to find Helen sitting in her black SUV outside his apartment as the Pig roared into his driveway. 

She was on the phone and held up a finger at him, after seeing him peer through the drivers side window. He could hear Helen using the Gansey voice from outside, the one no-one disagrees with, and felt bad for whoever was on the other end of the call. 

Helen paused pressing her lips tightly together, listening then nodded and abruptly hung up. 

“Dick, what are you doing?” Helen snapped as she got out of the car. 

Gansey tried hard not to sound like the defensive younger brother. “Waiting for you to finish your phone call.” 

Helen huffed unimpressed, “Noooo. What are you doing going on some weird pity date with Piggly Wiggly worker?”

Gansey sighed sensing Helen had more to say and he didn’t want to hear it out here. If he was going to hear things he didn’t like he might as well be in the comfort of his own home. “Come in, Helen.” and turned to open the front door. 

His apartment was a mess. Noah and Henry were planning to have it professionally cleaned before The Night. Until then it was slowly filling up with half finished projects he was too tired to truly commit to. 

“Dick, you live like a teenager!” 

“Thank you, Helen.” Gansey replied evenly. 

“Tea?” She asked him before walking into the kitchen to make it herself. She had tasted his attempts at making tea. 

“Yes, please.” 

With tea made and siblings settled on the small amount of space Gansey had managed to clear in the living room. 

Helen reached into her large and intimidating handbag and pulled out a manila folder and passed it over to Gansey silently.

Gansey opened the folder warily. Inside was a police record with several speed tickets and parking fines, a few drunken brawls and a DUI. He was confused until he looked at the top of the page, NAME: RONAN NIAL LYNCH. 

Gansey levelled Helen a heavy look, “You preparing blackmail in advance?” 

Helen scoffed and balled her fists, “Well someone has to do their homework! Honestly, what are you paying those two lapdogs of yours for if they chose this guy without even doing a basic background check on him first?” 

Gansey clenched his jaw and tried to breathe smoothly “ Helen, this is not how I wanted to prepare for my date.”

“Oh you have plenty of time for grooming and practicing small talk. I thought we had taught you better than this? Clearly not.” She frowned to herself, like she was wondering where he had come from. 

Gansey knew his family didn’t understand why he did the things he did, or why it was important to him, but at least they usually respected it.

“Helen I appreciate the sentiment of the protection you are trying to offer. But I don’t what to think like this. Suspecting everyone of the worse.”

Helen gulped the last her tea and set it down beside her, “I know Dick. You wish you could be the noble hero, like in your films. Wishing and expecting the world to be like that does not make it so.” She levelled him a heavy look. “You are only setting yourself up to be blindsided or taken advantage of.”

Gansey refused to be shamed for his beliefs, he knew there was a night to ever day but he chose the warmth of the sun.

“I hope this doesn’t turn out like I fear it will” She said standing and smoothing the creases out of her pantsuit. 

“I hope so, too Helen.” He replied and walked her to the door. 

He closed the door as she pulled out of the drive and only felt calm after the door was firmly shut. Gansey’s family was an exhausting minefield of subtle subtext and unspoken rules of society. Acting was a relief, every moment and gesture scripted, the environment controlled. The real world was unpredictable mystery, Gansey loved it but feared that life was puzzle he would never be able to solve. 

xxx

Friday morning Ronan picked up by Parrish in his shitbox with Sargent obediently sitting in the backseat. Ronan had argued long and hard with Parrish, saying he could drive himself to the airport, especially since it was one town over, and park his car there. 

In the end he couldn’t argue with spending two glorious hours watching Adam drive. The shitbox was truly shitty and unforgiving stead but Parrish’s determined grasp on the gearshift was strong and sure. Ronan passed time easily observing rough fingers and knuckles grip until turning pale. Sepia-tone eyes squinting through dusty lashes to peer through morning sun on a dirty windshield. 

Blue gripped the headrest “Ronan? Are you even listening to me?” 

“What? Yeah.” Ronan murmured. 

“You’re a fucking liar Lynch!” Sargent cried kicking the back of his seat. 

“Oi! Watch it!” Parrish snapped. 

“Yeah Sargent.” Ronan sneered, “Any harder and this piece of shit will fall apart.”

Blue changed the subject before Parrish could get out his fuming retort. “I. Was. Saying…TELL ME EVERYTHING! I want minute to minute details and similes. For example: He smells like the satisfaction of saving a rainforest. Or he smiles like the absolution of moral truth.”

Parrish scoffed and then quickly turned it into a cough to escape Blue’s wrath. 

“Details, right.” Ronan nodded. 

“And you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to Lynch.” Parrish said sternly. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Ronan asked.

Parrish gritted his teeth. “I mean. You don’t owe him anything. He hasn’t bought you.” 

“What the fuck Parrish? This isn’t the 18th Century? I haven’t been sold to a lord!” 

“I know, just. Be on your guard.” He conceded.

“Whatever, Parrish.” Ronan scoffed. 

Adam could tell he was beginning to truly anger Ronan but he could help but add, “And if he invites you to look at something random in his apartment, he is really just trynna sleep with you.”

“OKAY! Jesus Parrish!” Ronan blustered, feeling his face flush hot at the thought. Ronan felt a cold rush of shame even thinking about being with anyone other than Parrish. Not that he and Parrish had ever done anything. He just couldn’t honestly imagine being interested in anyone else. 

“This whole thing is a stupid fucking publicity stunt anyway. Why the fuck am I even going?” Ronan kicked at the dash and elbowed the door ready to dive and roll out of the car rather than talk about this for one more second. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?”Sargent cried, she gripped his shoulders firmly and pushed him back down into his seat. 

The pressure was comforting and calmed Ronan a little.

“You get to meet Richard Gansey III! Ronan, go for it! explore something outside of Henrietta!” Blue’s eyes pleaded and Ronan could see the sharp tinge of jealously and longing in them. 

Blue turned to Adam “I told you we should of put him in the trunk”

“You think that would have stopped him from kicking my damn car?” Parrish drawled. 

“True.”

“Hey!” Ronan protested even though it was all true. 

The radio began to fizz in and out as they down through the mountains. The shitbox was quiet and still. Ronan shifted uncomfortable with only his thoughts for company. 

He reached into the tight box and pulled out a cassette that he had made special for Parrish. 

Parrish glanced at him warily, “Where did you even find that?” 

“I made it.” Ronan responded and showed Parrish the label which read “A shitbox singalong” in his messy script. 

Ronan pushed the tape into the deck and sent up a quick prayer that it worked. He turned up the volume and waited.

“SQUASH ONE! SQUASH TWO!” the tape sung, the volume so loud it came out tinny and distorted. 

“NO! OH NO!” Blue shouted, winded down the window and climbed between the seats and ripped the tape out of the player, tape streaming behind it. 

Ronan dove to follow her, grasping for her hand, already seeing her plan.

Blue threw the tape out the open window then smirked at Ronan smug and victorious. 

“Thank fuck.” Parrish breathed, “I don’t wanna be deaf in both ears.”

Ronan turned back around and sulked down in his seat until they reached the airport. It took forever to find a tape and record onto it! 

xxx

They sat in the airport gate waiting for the boarding call. Ronan shifted about and itched to move, he wasn’t sure how he would deal on a plane for four hours. 

He walked to stand in front of the window, looking out the tarmac. He saw Parrish approach in the reflection in the window. 

“Did you say goodbye to Opal?” He asked.

“Yeah.” Ronan felt Parrish come to stand next to him but continued to make eye contact with his reflection. “She came in to the store yesterday. Even bought something.” 

“Wow.”

Ronan smiled to himself, “I know.” He turned to look at Adam, “you’ll look after her right?” 

“You will be gone two days, tops.” Adam replied. 

Ronan was still and silent. 

“Of course I will, we both will.” Adam laid a hand on Ronan’s shoulder. “We will all be here when you get back.”

Ronan felt the familiar pull, Adam was so close, he could feel the heat of him pressed up next to him. Maybe he should say something. Say he will come back for him. 

“We will now be boarding our first class passengers for flight 36J direct to LA.” 

Adam stepped back and pushed his hands into his pockets, “That’s you.” 

Blue walked over to them and playfully shoved Ronan’s shoulder. “It’s time.”

Ronan squared his shoulders and lifted his chin. 

Blue burst out laughing. “What the hell are you doing?” 

Ronan looked at her confused for a moment before he saw he dive towards him. 

He stumbled back with the force of the hug only to stumble away as Parrish crushed into the two of the them. 

His heart ached. 

xxx

Adam watched the plane leave and turned to Blue. 

“Time to go home I guess.”

Blue just stared at him judgement clear in her face. 

“What?”

“You didn’t tell him, did you?” 

Adam bristled, “I will.”

“You better.” 

Adam sighed and began to head for the stairs, ignoring Blue until they reached his Hondayota in the parking lot. 

“I didn’t want to give him anything else to worry about this week.” 

Blue looked unconvinced. 

“Blue, he tried to dive out of the car!” Adam threw his arms up, his keys jingled in his hand. 

Blue scoffed, “You know he is a drama queen.”

“Whatever.” 

Adam unlocked the car and slammed the door shut. 

He heard Blue mutter “speaking of…” as she walked around to the passenger seat but he ignored it. 

She settled next to him and turned to face him, “You have one week after he comes back to tell him, or I do. You hear me?”

Adam nodded, knowing Blue didn’t bluff with ultimatums. 

“You got to college in a month. Don’t waste it.” 

Adam recognised the bitter tone from earlier and realised maybe this wasn’t just as all about Ronan as Blue was pretending. 

“I’ll visit Blue. Whatever happens. I have a phone. We can use the crappy library wifi to Skype. You still are my best friend. Nothing is going change that.” Adam tried to sound certain when in reality they both knew the future held no guarantees. 

Blue smiled sadly. “It will change. You are going be in a whole new place.”

“Yeah, full of moneyed wankers who have probably never eaten a mouldy vegetable in their life.” 

Blue laughed, deep chuckles. “Please! Please! make them your stir fry special and don’t them them what’s in it ’til after they eat it!” 

“I thought you liked it?” Adam laughed.

“I do, I just wish I could take their faces!” Blue was now red-faced and tears began to stream down her cheeks. 

“I’ll take a photo.” He took a deep breath and said the hardest thing of all, “See, I need you.”

Blue looked up surprised “Who are you and what have you done with Adam Parrish?” she gripped his cheeks and tugged them.

“Oww! Get off!” Adam swatted at her. “Let’s get outta here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone that read, clicked on, kudos and even bookmarked this story!
> 
> Holy moly you all made me smile with joy!!
> 
> Yours,
> 
> Never.


	3. The date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it is finally here... the only question left is:  
What will Gansey wear???
> 
> (spoiler alert: something awful.)

Friday is finally here and Henry and Noah will not stop fussing. 

His outfit. 

His hair. 

His shoes.

His teeth. Seriously, his teeth?

“Come on, Ganseyboy!” Henry whined. “You CANNOT wear that!” 

Gansey looked down. He was in his favourite outfit, polo shirt freshly pressed, soft beige drill pants and his boat shoes. Perfect yacht wear. Not that they were going to his yacht, but just in case, he had to be prepared.

And he refused to let anyone convince him otherwise. 

“Really Gansey? You look like an asshole. Did you have to pick that shirt?”

“Salmon is perfectly acceptable colour and I won’t be made to feel bad for wearing it.” 

“Well, dating a man in a pink shirt is pretty gay so well done!” Henry cheered, looking for every small victory he could in this train wreck of a situation. 

Gansey walked over to the bathroom mirror to check he hadn’t missed any spots shaving earlier. Satisfied he began to try and tame his hair into soft waves. 

Noah followed him and leaned against the doorframe. 

Despite heavily criticising Gansey’s outfit earlier, he was dressed the same as he always was. Dark baggy jeans and a dark long sleeved cotton shirt, his pale skin and hair making him look ghostly. 

Gansey had long ago become accustomed to the strange styles of the celebrity world. Some, like Henry, dressed to impress. He was never without his flashy suits, shiny fabrics and six inch gelled hair. Some, like Noah, knew they had a job just being who they were, whatever they wore. They were an odd pair but Gansey envied their ease and certainty about who they were. 

Tonight, he was determined to be true to himself. To show this stranger the man he wished everyone saw him as. Maybe by wishing it hard enough he could make it happen. 

Helen was right, he was an idealist. 

Henry stormed into the bathroom, “Okay, next problem. What car are you taking?” 

“The Pig.” 

“Noooo!” Henry howled and held his head in his hands. 

Noah snickered. “Great date plan, Gans.”

“It’s my car. I’m taking it.” Gansey say in his best authoritative voice.

“What if it breaks down?” Henry paced anxiously in the bathroom, turning back to face Gansey, “Is it even safe?” 

“Safe as life.” Gansey replied and walked out of the bathroom. 

He heard Noah giggling behind him. “You can hold hands and wait for the tow truck together, so romantic.” 

Gansey just rolled his eyes. 

Henry joined them in the living room, muttering to himself and checking the time on his phone every few minutes. 

“What are you going to talk about?”

Gansey paused, feeling like it was the wrong answer whatever he said. “Ducks?” 

“You’ve got to fucking kidding me.” Henry shook his head. 

Noah crashed onto the couch and swung his legs over the armrest. “He’ll be fine.” 

“WILL HE? WILL HE?” Henry screamed. 

“Yeah.” Noah shrugged and opened his arms for Henry. 

Henry sighed then sat in Noah lap and let Noah hug him into his chest. 

Gansey was used to this sight. At one point if he wondered if something might happen between the two. In the five years they had worked together he hadn’t ever seen one of them move beyond this. 

“Okay, well. I will be back later. There is ramen in the cupboard.”

“Remember!” Henry called at Gansey pulled his coat on at the door. “PICTURES OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN!! Actually scratch that! Pictures or I made you date him again, but this time I come to insta follow and I call paparazzos.” Henry warned, tone low and firm. 

Gansey sighed as he smooth down the lapels of his jacket. His phone was charged and weighty in his pocket. Henry was not kidding, social media was the point of all this. 

He nodded and left.

xxx

Ronan had grown up with money, more than most, but nothing like what awaited him in L.A. 

LAX was huge and terrifying in its size. The mall section of the airport was bigger than the downtown of Henrietta. But unlike Henrietta, no-one knew him and judged him. 

Ronan wasn’t unusual with his shaved head and tattoo snaking out of his shirt. He saw men wearing large hoop ears and make-up. Women with tattoos patterning their arms and legs. Flashes of bright coloured hair bobbing with curls. 

Here, he wasn’t weird, or different. There was a comfort in that, he realised.

A driver in a dark Mercedes picked him up from the airport. Lorenzo greeted him with a firm shake to the hand and carried his bag to the trunk with a “I’ll take that Mr. Lynch". 

Briefly Ronan wondered if this was how Declan felt all the time and how he went through life. Opened doors with a ‘yes, sir’ at every turn. 

The car took the scenic route to the hotel, or possibly the long way in an attempt to avoid the infamous LA traffic. 

Ronan wound down the window and stared. 

The sky was a wide flat open blue, paling towards the horizon. The road stretched on straight and wide, loosely bordered by palm trees. 

The hotel sat tall and formidable, shiny like a cut stone. The windows were darkly tinted and sleek metal beams bordered the balconies. 

Ronan’s room was on the 15th floor, the celebrity suite. Ronan almost laughed at the name as the concierge handed over the swipe card. Was it still a celebrity suite if he, a nobody, stayed there?

Oh well, fuck it. At least there would probably be good shampoo and soap to steal for Blue and her family. 

One night of ridiculousness, then it was back to his normal life. 

Ronan pushed open the door, overnight bag slung on his back, and surveyed the room. 

The windows looked out across the city lighting up the furniture in the afternoon light. There was a large bed with way too many throw pillows, asking to be jumped on. 

Ronan tossed his bag on the sofa in the corner and dived onto the bed, and relished the soft cushy bounce. Next he rolled over and knocked all the stupid pillows to the floor. 

He glanced at the bedside clock and realised he has hours until the date. Jet lagged, Ronan set an alarm on his phone and pulled off his shoes before falling asleep. 

It is a rare time when Ronan can fall asleep, let alone a dreamless sleep. He should have known expecting both was impossible. 

At first he dreamt of the trees. Their familiar shapes and colours. The sound of them rustling in the air so comforting he had to blink tears from his eyes. 

Then he spots him, standing in the shade of large oak, back strong and straight. His smile lights up as soon as he sees Ronan. 

Ronan feels something ignite inside of him at the sight and grins helplessly in return. 

They are inches apart. Close enough to see every eyelash and a flash of saliva and tongue, as he licks his chapped lips. 

Ronan knows he is staring. Ronan knows this is a dream because he doesn’t feel the fear of being caught. He feels the fear of know exactly what he wants to do, what he can do and what will happen next. 

Ronan has had this dream hundreds of times, played out every reaction. Disgust. Anger. Betrayal. Confusion. Fear. Blank denial. 

Adam leant forward and ran his hand down his chest, and whispered in his ear, “What if I loved you back?”

Ronan feel his body flush cold, his nerve endings tingling, like he had been dumped in a bucket of ice water. 

He looked at Adam again. His eyes were open and soft. One of his favourite Adams, safe and comfortable. 

Adam wrapped his arms around Ronan and murmured “Too bad this is only a dream.”

Ronan woke up sweating and panting, his body panicking like he had been ripped from a nightmare not.. whatever that was. 

The phone alarm beeped obnoxiously until Ronan managed to turn the thing off. 

He climbed off the bed and quickly stripped before hopping into the shower. 

Afterwards, he pulled out the outfit that Blue had spent hours carefully planning while Parrish had lounged on Ronan’s bed. 

Ronan shook himself, thinking of Adam in his bed was exactly what he needed to avoid right now. 

He checked himself in the mirror more times than necessary than his jeans, t-shirt and jacket outfit warranted. His ripped and torn black jeans were comfortable. Blue had convinced him to wear a shirt with sleeves. So he wore a v neck black t-shirt with a raven on the pocket patch. A leather jacket Blue had found him at thrift store last Christmas. He had no hair to tame and after lacing back into his favourite worn black boots there was nothing left to do. 

He took a photo of his outfit for Blue as proof of following instructions.

He paced the room until he was distracted by the sound of a loud sports car below. Ronan peered down below and could just see an orange monstrosity flashing dim lights. A few minutes later there was a knock at his door.

Ronan panicked, there was movie star outside his room. What would he say? How would he greet him? Why hadn’t he spent more time worrying about this earlier?

He opened the door to see Richard Gansey the third on the other side. Ronan paused unable to stop himself from doing a slow once over of the man before him. 

Richard, in his films, was a war hero, an action man, a lover and fighter. Brave and righteous and fearless. 

The man before him was in boat shoes and pink polo for fucks sake! 

Ronan knew, intellectually, that actors weren’t the characters they played. But he couldn’t help but feel disappointed while also completely starstruck. 

“You’re- you -you are- Richard Gansey. The third.” Ronan stuttered. 

Richard rubbed his lip with his thumb, “Just Gansey actually.”

Ronan stared at his hand, still pressed to his mouth, “what?”

Richard blinked and pulled out a charming grin, “I prefer Gansey. Richard is my father.”

Ronan didn’t know what to say so he nodded. This was going great. 

Gansey tried to break the awkward silence forming, “So Ronan Lynch, right?” He looked up and down the hall and flashed another blinding grin “I do have the right room don’t I?” 

Ronan just nodded again, “Yep.” He patted his pockets to check for his phone and wallet before shutting the door behind them. 

The elevator ride was filled with more suffocating silence like a pillow stuffed in the face. A family joined them half way, the small boy staring at Gansey who waved politely. 

“Mum, Mum! It’s Captain Bismark!!” the boy whispered tugging onto her pants. 

“Uh huh,” she replied not even turning around. Bored, the boy moved on to the classic rebellion of pressing every single button in elevator. 

They finally reached the foyer and the valet eagerly rushed forward to retrieve Gansey’s car. Ronan expected something as new and flashy as Gansey’s shirt. 

Ronan realised he was half right when the pumpkin monstrosity growled around the corner. 

“HOLY SHIT! Is that your car??” Ronan burst out, “How much horsepower does it have? I bet it is sick under pressure! Fucken lurid colour though!”

Gansey stared at him, silent for a moment. Ronan realised those were the first words he said to Richard Gansey III. He was already being an arsehole. 

Gansey laughed and smiled. “I call it The Pig.” 

“Why not The Pumpkin?” Ronan jibbed.

“It’s a muscle car not Cinderella’s carriage.” Gansey mutter deeply affronted.

They got in the camaro. Ronan joked about taking The Pig for a spin but Gansey clutched the keys tighter in his hand. 

Gansey sat comfortably in the cracked vinyl seating. For the first time this night Ronan feel like he was in the presence of a king. 

Then Gansey put the key and lock and tried to get the engine to splutter to life. The gears groaned together before finally turning over. Gansey sighed in relief and began to drive responsibly slow. 

For a while there was no sound but that of the engine and air snapping against the open window. 

Ronan looked around the camaro, it was not at all what he expected, but then again neither was Gansey. 

The car was retro, a classic and clearly expensive. But expensive in the way of Barns not the cold hotel Ronan had just come from. It was rusted at the seams, worn in and a bit battered. Lived in and loved almost to the point of death and revived. 

“So what made you want to work in a grocery store?” Gansey asked, like it was a vocation rather than a minimum wage job. 

“Uhhhh. It was something to do, I guess.” Ronan shrugged. “What made you want to be an actor?” 

Gansey paused, deciding between his Publicity answer and the truth. “I like being able to be many things. Being able to escape who I am for someone else.” Gansey turned to stare at Ronan, pleading him to understand.

All Ronan could do was nod in return, he couldn’t count the number of times he had wished to be different than he was. 

They reach the restaurant. Strangers greeted Gansey at least seven times before they have made their way to their table. Each time Gansey smiled wide and greeted each person by name, shook their hand firmly and asked after their family. But Ronan didn’t buy it as surely as before. 

He was starting to think there was more than one Gansey. This one before him was calm and gentile but Ronan had seen fire. He wondered where it all went and what brought it to the surface. 

The restaurant, like the hotel, was modern and too clean to be interesting. It looked like a model of what could be, not something for real people. 

Ronan stared down at the menu, trying to keep the frown off his face as he read:

Entrees 

Quince paste with in-house sourdough bread and pickled vegetables. 

THAT COST MORE THAN HE MADE IN AN HOUR. 

He was thankful that Blue or Adam was here, they would have a fit. 

“Did you pick this place?” Ronan asked. 

Gansey blushed, “Um, no. Henry, my manager, did.” 

“Did he pick the hotel too?” Ronan fiddled with his fork on the table.

“Yes. Why?” 

“They just don’t seem like your thing.” Ronan tore into a bread roll.

Gansey puffed up at this insight. “And what is my thing?” He asked.

“I don’t know. What do you do when you’re not being Richard Gansey the Third?” Ronan levelled him a heavy look. 

Ronan looked back down at the menu, determined to order something excessively stupid.

“I used to do a lot. I was, I suppose, a rather nerdy teenager. I love history and I used to travel and visit historical sites.” This information seemed almost painful for him to part with. 

“Nerd huh?” Ronan smirked. “Well, I was a bit of a juvenile delinquent. So I can’t really judge.” 

“What are you now?” Gansey asked curious. 

Ronan barked out a sharp laugh, far too loud for the quiet intimate restaurant. “Now? A general bad influence. You?”

“Oh. I don’t know if I influence, I suppose I-“ Gansey stuttered.

“I meant, are you still a history nerd?” 

“I am.”

A waiter arrived to take their order. Gansey ordered ethically farmed salmon and summer vegetables . Ronan ordered a grilled steak sandwich that was as expensive as Parrish’s weekly food budget. 

The night continued in a strange seesaw of conversation. Sometimes it seems like Gansey wanted to be seen for more than his career and his fake smile. Other times it felt like it wasn’t person in front of him, it was a caricature of everything you were meant to do. 

They ate in silence. Ronan hadn’t been on a date in couple of years, not since his brief attempt after high school. So he wasn’t really sure how this date was going. Were all blind dates like this? 

“Tell me about your friends back home?” Gansey asked. 

Ronan placed his sandwich, which he was letting drip and pool sauce everywhere, back on his plate. “You saw the video right?”

Gansey nodded.

“Well, Blue. She…ahh. She’s a fighter, Parrish too, but in a different way.”

“How so?” Gansey leaned forward. 

Ronan suddenly felt like a child being asked about school friends by a curious uncle. Gansey did not seem like a 20 year old who had millions of people all around the world crushing on him. 

“You seem very close, all of you” he remarked, almost jealous. 

“You have a lot of friends right?” Ronan stated unsure.

Gansey’s face flickered with an emotion too fast for Ronan to catch it clearly. “Well, mainly I am with my manager Henry and Noah my Social media agent. I travel a lot shooting. Always working with different people.” He looked down at his empty plate and straighten the cutlery before lifting his eyes to Ronan again. “I have colleagues.”

“That sounds lonely.” Ronan observed.

That was the moment the waiter chose to return. 

“How is everyone enjoying their meal tonight?” He asked. Then slowly slid a white cloth napkin across the table towards Ronan’s sauce smeared face and hands. 

“Oh! Simply delightful!” Gansey crowed. Rubbing his hands together, before folding them gracefully on the table. “Please give our compliments of appreciation to the chef.”

The waiter smiled, smug and satisfied. 

Ronan didn’t understand how anyone could be satisfied from something so bland and obviously fake. There was no gold under the sugar coating of these words. 

The waiter turned to him now, clearly awaiting his glowing response. 

Ronan opened his mouth, burger still inside,“The proof of my opinion is all over my face. Why ask for it?” He swallowed. Then used the napkin to smear the sauce further around his face before crumpling it into a ball. 

The waiter huffed and walked off. 

Gansey looked worried, eyes trailing his back. 

Ronan tried to smile and laugh it off, but he suddenly felt painfully out of place. 

This fancy as shit restaurant was no place for him. He was too abrasive. Too much. The air grated against his skin, nipping and stinging, like a hurricane of glass. 

Gansey seemed to pick up on Ronan’s feelings immediately. “Say, there is this great little ice cream parlour around the corner. We should go!”

Ronan gratefully began to rise from his seat, but Gansey held his hand up to stop him. 

“Quick, I have to take a photo.” He slid his phone out and took a shot of Ronan lounging in his chair, smug smirk creeping across his face. Then moved to crouch beside him to take selfies of them, heads side by side. 

Gansey clicked on the photo reel and angled the phone towards Ronan, “Do you think they are okay?”

“No fucking clue.” ROnan stood up and fisted his hands in his pockets. “Come on, I want ice cream.”

xxx

They walked the few blocks to the parlour. The night was warm. The countless light up signs and street lights created a strange brightly dim glow. 

It turned out Gansey’s idea of ‘around the corner’ was similar to Parrish’s idea of ‘plenty of sleep’ or ‘a quick tune-up.’ 

They chatted easily, moving through the crowds together. Standing side by side when they could. The night was busy and alive with people, some glamorous and some rough looking street people. Everyone was self contained and separate despite being mixed like oil and water shook up. 

No-one paid much mind to Gansey, he nodded and smiled at people. Some Ronan could tell he knew from the soft and relaxed look in his eyes. Others he guessed were strangers, fans and admirers. It shocked Ronan to think that a few hours ago he was in the latter category. 

Now, he stood beside Gansey comfortably silent as he chatted with an old friend Karmara. She wore a dress that looked like a bathrobe and had bright purple dreadlocks. She explained her latest project, something to do with Welsh Kings, and dead people. Whatever it was Gansey was flapping his hands exuberantly in response. 

Karmara kissed his cheek, waved to Ronan and continued on her way. 

“Sorry about that!” Gansey grimaced apologetic. 

Ronan shrugged. “What was all that about?”

“Oh! Oh.. this film she is directing. Karmara is an incredible director, she loves history but the magic and mystery of it.” 

Ronan nodded, “So you wanna do a film with her?” 

“Uh, ideally YES! I’d love to. Especially THAT one, but she is more independent and raw voices that I am marketed as. My team would never want me to do the role, even if I did get it.” 

“Why?” 

“Well, they are afraid of my acting being pigeonholed. That is why they were against my announcement of my queer identity.” 

Ronan knew there must be a lot of politics behind the scenes, but this all sounded like bullshit to him. “Fuck ‘em, I say. Do what you want.”

Gansey huffed. “Ahh well. That didn’t work out so well for me last time.” 

They had arrived at the ice cream parlour, ‘ Screamin’ Creamin’. Gansey held the floor pink plastic strips out of the way for Ronan to step in first. 

It was the complete opposite of the restaurant. The walls were alternating hot pink and cerulean blue. Plastic pink flamingos and gaudy large blue fish were mounted floor to ceiling. 

Gansey led Ronan to the counter where a young woman stood, curly hair wrapped up in a pink hair net. “What can I get you guys?” She smiled then began chewing gun and blowing small bubbles between her lips. 

“I’ll have the avocado sorbet and the belgian chocolate fudge please. In a cup.” Gansey turned to Ronan waiting. 

Ronan was still reeling from this weird neverland he had stepped into. Where apparently Gansey’s favourite ice cream flavours were avocado and chocolate. He definitely didn’t remember reading that on Buzzfeed. 

“Ronan?” Gansey laid a gently hand to his shoulder, waking him out of his reverie. 

Ronan looked down at the sea of flavours. Black cherry and white chocolate, banana muffin, coke cola, grapefruit and rosewater. Where was the vanilla? The caramel? 

“Umm…” Ronan scanned the glass then gave up trying to find something normal, when in Neverland. “I’ll have the Belgian chocolate too, and toasted sesame, in a cone.” 

The woman served their order and Gansey paid with a swipe of his credit card, not even glancing at the amount. 

They sat on an old leather couch in the corner. The shop played electron funk, not Ronan’s taste but he understand how it fit the parlour. With walls this loud and garish the music could never be soft. 

Gansey ate his ice cream delicately with the plastic smooth. Sucking in all traces from the spoon, before taking another bite. 

Ronan cautiously licked his ice cream, the chocolate was okay but the sesame was weird. His face screwed up and Gansey laughed.

"Okay, you try it.” Ronan sulked, holding out his ice cream before he could really think. 

Gansey scooped out a chunk with his spoon and rolled it around his mouth, examining the flavour. “It has a rich nuttiness I appreciate.”

Ronan tried hard to not think about the tiny traces of saliva that were on his ice-cream from Gansey's spoon. He wasn't sure if it was a fan obsess searing through him or something more human. 

Gansey softly hummed again, savouring the last of the seasame taste in his mouth.

Ronan grunted gruffly. "If you like it that much, have the rest," and he held the cone out towards him.

Gansey seemed to doubt him for a moment, dithering back and forth, before reaching forward and scoping the icecream into his cup. 

Ronan started to lean back but stilled as he saw Gansey incling forward again. This time scoping his remain chocolate on Ronan's cone. 

Ronan muttered his thanks, oddly touched by the gesture. It felt far too intimate, too casual or familiar for the situation. 

He heard the shutter click, and looked up to see Gansy aiming his phone at him. 

Shattered, the gesture was not for him. It is was for the hearts and likes of 61 million followers. 

Ronan bit into his ice cream with a vengeance. The brain freeze was a painful and welcome delight. 

xxx

They left the palour as the night crept on it began to fill with loud drunk clubbers. 

Gansey walked them back to the restaurant, where the camaro was valet parked. The strollered up to the booth, Ronan lagging behind.   
A young woman rushed eagerly to fetch it and came back almost immdiately. 

Well, it wasn't hard to find. The Pig was loud in multiple senses of the word. 

Gansey turned to Ronan, body relaxed now the keys were safely back in the palm of his hand. "Where to now?"

Ronan shrugged, and walked around to the passenger seat. 

Gansey followed and started driving without a destination, slowly circling the block. 

He sighed, "Ronan? What happened?"

Ronan pulled his knees to his chest and stared out into the night. He didn't know how to do this with someone he had loved and known for years. He sure as shit could do this with a complete stranger. 

He huffed and stared at Gansey's reflection, pale and fragile against the glass. "You got your pictures. You've parade me around. Now take me back. I'm done with this fucking cavalcade!" 

Ronan punched the dash and glove compartment spilled all over his lap. Pages flew everywhere, a plastic grey tube slide between Ronan's thighs. 

Ronan awkwardly groped to retrieve it in the dark. He held it up to the light. "What is this?" 

Gansey glanced quickly, as he turned the corner. "Um really old jerky? I would eat that if I were you."

Ronan shook his head. "No, man. This isn't meat. What is it?"

Gansey turned and squinted this time beofre his eyes when wide and guarded. "Nothing."

"Bullshit." Ronan scoffed. 

Gansey sighed, "Just because you are here, doesn't mean you have full accesss to my life." 

Ronan turned to face him, "Oh, but you get full right to use me to fix your problems?"

"That's not what I- "Gansey opened and closed his mouth. He stared down at the road in front of him, the asphalt lit up and disappearing under the dim headlights. 

"It's an Epi-pen. I'm allegeric." He muttered. 

"To what?"

"Bees." 

Ronan didn't respond but Gansey could see the gears turning in his brain. 

Gansey breathed. "Don't say it, please."

Ronan shook his head, but his mind was full of scenes from Gansey's films, out in the forest, fields, mountains. 

"It is safe?"

Gansey chuckled, "Safe as life."

xxx

"Where are we going? I cannot simply drive forever."

Ronan got a mischievous glint to his eye.

"Why not?"

Gansey turned, confused. 

"Let's eat dust." He smiled a sharp smile that shone in the dark. 

Gansey couldn't say no.

xxx

“Let loose. I want to show you want this beast can really do.” Ronan smirked, his smile sharp and electric. 

Gansey looked free, his eyes alight. It was Gansey untethered. Gansey on fire. 

They drove down long empty streets, dark with lights behind them. Gansey took them further and further out of the city, the big building falling behind them. Ahead was houses spread out amongst an urban landscape that went on further than Ronan had ever seen. 

Gansey handled the car with glee. Ronan was reminded of only that morning, watching Adam forcefully handle his shitbox. Gansey handled his car like there was no greater joy in the world, like there was nowhere else he would be. 

Ronan winded down the window, the hand crank stiff and sticky from disuse, and lent his head then his torso out into the night air.

“What are you doing Ronan?” Gansey roared over the wind and the engine. 

Ronan only howled in response. He felt free and wild for the first time in a long time. 

“Come on!” He goaded Gansey until he joined him, screaming his lungs out. 

Ronan crawled back out, sitting on the camaro door and punching the air with his fist.

Soon they saw cars approaching. Ronan slid back into his seat feeling breathless and electric. “That was fucking magic!” he rasped, voice hoarse.

“Agreed.” Gansey croaked back.

Gansey drove them up a hill, to Ronan it looked as small as a goosebump, before parking the car on a rise overlooking the city. 

Gansey hopped out of the camaro silently and lent against the hood looking out into the night. 

Ronan sat for a moment, his ears tingled and thudded with the suddenly absence of air buffering past the roar of the engine. All that was left was the deafening thud of his own heartbeat in his ears.

He step out to join Gansey, who didn’t move to look at him but shiftily slightly closer. This was starting to feel like a date.

“You know what I miss most?” Gansey asked.

Ronan waited silently for the answer.

“The stars. The way they make you ache.” Gansey pressed his thumb to his lip rubbing softly before he continued, “I filmed deep in the forest. We camped out there for months. The night was so dark you could hardly see your own hand in front of your face. You were invisible, but then you look up, and you could see the whole galaxy.” Gansey turned to Ronan his eyes shining bright and holy. 

“The milky way, more stars that you can imagine.” Gansey whispered breathless in awe. 

Ronan suddenly loved this quiet Gansey, soft and in awe of the world. As if he was listening to something else no one else bothered to look for. 

Ronan looked back out over the city, “My farm, my parents farm. The Barns has amazing stars. Every summer my brothers, Blue and Parrish all come home for a bonfire. This year we ended up falling asleep outside under the stars.” He turned to find Gansey looking at him and had to ruin the moment. “We woke up with a million bug bites and Matthew stepped in shit going for a late night piss.” 

But Gansey laughed loud and exuberant, making Ronan laugh with him. 

They stood there for a long time, talking about anything and everything, but Ronan knew that every word of it was the truth. For that he would always be grateful. 

“Okay, I have to take a photo for Blue! She will never believe this outfit is real otherwise.” Ronan pulled out his phone and powered it on.

Gansey stood arms fun out wide, ready to receive the world, all of LA spread out behind him. 

The camera flashed. “There.” Ronan murmured to himself. 

Gansey walked back to the camaro, scuffing his topsiders in the dirt.

Ronan tucked the phone back into his pants pocket and lay down on the hood, elbows propped underneath him. 

“I am lonely.” Gansey admitted, joining Ronan lying back on the hood. 

Ronan turned to look down at him, face open and vulnerable, eyes closed. 

“Me too.” Ronan said, though he realised it was less true now than it had been. 

Gansey opened his eyes to look at him and suddenly Ronan felt exposed, scrutinised. Then he felt the hot cold thrill of wondering if Gansey was thinking about kissing him. 

Wait, was he thinking about kissing Gansey? 

He leapt off the camaro, “We should head back.” 

Gansey blinked slowly, “Actually there is something I want to show you at my apartment.” 

In his head he could hear Parrish ‘what? Like his dick?’ in a very snide voice. 

“What?” Ronan asked blunt and awkward. 

Gansey curled himself up effortlessly and stood fading Ronan. “My miniature LA. It’s what I do when I can’t sleep.”

Again, Ronan heard Adam saying how any weird or vague excuses were just that. Excuses. But Parrish wasn’t there. Gansey was. 

“Okay.” Ronan shrugged and tried to appear casual. 

They drove back into the city at a still not quite legal but less deadly pace. 

Ronan didn’t speak, trying to shake himself of the deeply wrong feeling building in him. Even without his feelings for Adam, the was not something he did. Love, he believed, and all acts of love had to be earned. 

While he felt close after speeding through the night with Gansey, he realised that was all he wanted. 

Gansey glanced at him, smile wide and full of glossy white teeth. 

Ronan had no idea how to get out of this now he was in it. 

They soon arrived at an apartment, Gansey pulled into his parking space and led Ronan to the door. 

Ronan hung back, dragging his feet. Maybe he could say he was tired? It was almost 2am. 

Gansey jingled his key in the lock and opened the door to find the lights still on. 

“Gansey? Is that you?”

“How did it go?” voices called out from the apartment. 

Ronan stepped back, uncomfortable at the thought of strangers at this time of night. 

Gansey turned around and seeing Ronan’s expression quickly explained. “That’s just Henry and Noah, my manager and agent.” 

His eyes darkened, brows drawing together. “I can ask them to leave…” he trailed off uncertain and hesitant. 

Ronan felt like he was being treated like a wild animal that was going to turn and flee. That was exactly what he was thinking of doing. 

“I think- I. I think I am going to get a taxi back to the hotel.” He stuttered. 

Gansey’s face fell, disappointed but understanding. “Nonsense. I will take you home.” 

And with that he walked back to the camaro. 

The ride back to the hotel was quiet. The streets as empty as Ronan had seen them, but still the occasional vehicle passed them by. LA was different from what he expected. There was an energy to a place that never slept. 

The Barns at midnight felt like the world was open and quiet in the way that seemed to make magic possible. 

Here though, being awake was not solitary. People walked down the street, shoes in their hands. Or drove pass probably heading to or leaving an event. It was easier to feel a part of something and Ronan believed there was magic in that too. 

“I see why LA is a good place for an insomniac now.” Ronan commented. 

Gansey hummed in agreement, “You should visit New York City sometime. I think you would love it!” 

“Yeah? Why?”

“No one sleeps. And. Everyone has at least one dog. I have never been to a city so full of dogs.” Gansey chuckled, eyes far away in a memory. 

“Parrish would love it then. That one is a sucker for any kind of mutt. And all he wants to leave Henrietta.” Ronan’s voice broke at the end, unable to contain the pain it would cost him if Parrish left.

“Sounds like you care about him a lot.” Gansey observed. 

Ronan didn’t reply, silence was never a lie.

They pulled up to the hotel and Gansey waved off the valet attendant anxiously trying to take the camaro. 

“Thank you for tonight. I had a really lovely time.” Gansey said, turning in his seat to face Ronan. 

“Me too.” Ronan replied and realised it was the truth. No part of this night was how he thought, but he had fun. 

“Well,” Gansey eyes flickered to Ronan’s chest as he cleared his throat. “All the best to you and your family and friends.” 

Ronan realised this was the last time he would speak to Richard Campbell Gansey III. “Your film’s will stand the test of time.” 

Gansey blushed and leaned towards Ronan. 

Ronan leaned into the hug, grateful to feel Gansey’s broad shoulders in his arms. He was surprised by the soft press of lips to his cheek, wet and warm.

“Take care, Ronan.” Gansey whispered in his ear. 

Ronan nodded, his head tucked in the crook of Gansey’s neck. 

He stepped out of the car, turning back for one last look, before entering the lobby. 

He would never see Richard Gansey again. Never convince him to let Ronan drive the Pig. Never hear that free and joyous laugh. 

It has only been one night, but Ronan felt like a completely different person. He didn’t know who to be anymore. 

All he knew was he loved Adam Parrish too much to ever let him go. If a fake date felt that good, he couldn’t even imagine what a real date with Parrish would feel like. 

But he was determined to find out.

xxx

Gansey opened the door to see Noah and Henry sleep rumpled but awake. 

“So?” Henry demanded. 

“You scared him off.” Gansey reprimanded, he still wasn’t sure why Ronan had run off. Gansey knew he wasn’t very good at reading people needs. 

“Wait? Wait. You brought him home? Get it Gansey!” Noah shouted jubilant with a cheeky wink. 

Gansey paled, “Oh no! Not! Not like that!”

Henry walked forward and placed a hand on Gansey’s shoulder, “What did you think was happening Gansey?” 

Gansey rubbed his lip with his thumb and moved to sit on the couch in the living room. 

Noah and Henry sat on either side, sandwiching him in. 

Gansey gestured towards the miniature cardboard city on the floor, “I wanted to show him.” Gansey felt his mouth open and close but not sound came out. It dawned on him again and again all the things Ronan must of thought. 

“There, there Gansey.” Noah rubbed his back. 

Henry shot him a pitying glance, “Oh dearest Dick, so innocent, so naive.”

They stayed with him all night. He managed to close his eyes for a few moments. All night he kept seeing Ronan’s face fall. Every time he closed his eyes he remembered the tense and quiet way Ronan held himself on the ride back. 

How could be so obtuse? How could he abuse his position and influence? 

Gansey had worked so hard to get away from his family’s way of living, yet here he was, being just like the worse parts of them. 

Gansey walked into the kitchen, over pretending he could sleep. He needed to do something. He needed to fix this. 

He wanted to sit in his camaro, with only the sound of the engine competing with his thoughts. 

Gansey wound his way through the room. Henry and Noah slept with blankets tucked around them in the living room. He didn't want to wake them, he slowly tugged his coat on and made sure his keys were in the pocket from last night. 

Had he been thinking more clearly maybe he would of packed a bag, or at least his phone charger? But in his paranoia insomnia fuelled haze all he did was grab his keys, phone and wallet. Like he was going to the store around the corner. 

Gansey squinted his eyes against the harsh glare of morning sun and climbed into the camaro. 

He opened maps on his phone and typed in Henrietta, West Virginia. 

Two days. He could be there in two days. 

And then this mess could be sorted out and everything would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, 
> 
> Apologies I am posting a bit later. 
> 
> I got sick this weekend. 
> 
> Really excited that people are reading and (hopefully) enjoying this fic. It is my first. No beta so all mistakes are mine. 
> 
> Gonna try and keep the updates coming, but we'll see. 
> 
> Stay colourful!
> 
> Yours,   
Never


	4. the road trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan returns to Henrietta, lovestruck. 
> 
> Gansey tries to fix things in the most Gansey way possible.
> 
> Adam gets mad. 
> 
> Blue is a beautiful human.
> 
> Henry and Noah cuddle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, soooo I am really sorry it has been so long since i updated. Life shittiness happened. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! and kudos and comments are super appreciated!! you have no idea HOW MUCH the make my day, nay week, no YEAR! 
> 
> Super-Duper-Uper THANK YOU to CigaleDesNeiges for commenting <3 <3 <3

Ronan did not sleep that night. 

He walked up to his room in a zombie state. His cheek was still tingling with the brush of Gansey’s lips and the bristle of his shaved cheek. 

Ronan was in shock. He had some experience but being physical was still new and the moment looped around in his brain. 

He knew it was Gansey, but still all Ronan could think was: What if it was Adam’s lips? Adam’s rough stubble after a big week of stock take. 

What if they went to Ninos then maybe for a drive in the night? 

Possibilities and ideas swamped Ronan as he slowly brushed his teeth and lay down in bed. 

Sleep did not come. 

Closing his eyes, Ronan pictured Adam’s fine features lit up by the BMW’s displays. He thought of his laugh, of his hair blowing wild as they made mud tracks in a paddock. 

A mix of memories and fantasies and deepest wishes danced in Ronan’s mind. 

In a few hours he would be stepping off a plane and Parrish would be there, back within reach. 

Ronan couldn’t wait. 

xxx

“Blue!!” Adam cried hammering his fist against her bedroom door. “We have to go!!”

Orla squeezed past, brushing against Adam, in the narrow hallway and said, “I see a lot of kissing in your future.” before winking and walking away. 

Adam was momentarily distracted. On the one hand that was just Orla. On the other… 

“BLUE!!! We are going to be LATE” Adam hammered again. 

Finally a very sleepy Blue opened the door, hair spiked and awry, and rubbed her eyes, “Oh yeah. I’m not going.” With that she shut the door in his face and Adam heard the sound of her diving back into bed. 

He stood there flabbergasted, mouth agape, before his shock turned into fury. Ice to fire in a single second. So fast it scared him. 

Calla came to stand at the bottom of the stairs to holler up at him, “Coke-Cola shirt this is what happens when you don’t pay attention to ultimatums.” She sighed as if explaining things that were perfectly obvious to a psychic was an everyday burden. It probably was. “Now quit huffing and puffing and get a move on. Go get your man.”

Adam stuttered in denial of the term ‘your man’ but Calla was already gone. 

He was going to be late and get caught in traffic if he didn’t leave now. 

Adam hopped into the Hondayota. The whole drive to the airport Adam thought about what he was going to say to Ronan. 

Adam gripped the steering wheel tighter and let out a shaky breath through clenched teeth. He could do this. 

Adam was surprised at how hard it was to tell Ronan he was leaving. Ronan had been there with him through so much. 

Maybe that it why it was hard. Walking away from his parents had been easier, by that point he had finally acknowledged that they didn’t care about him. 

Ronan did. Ronan loved things with a wild abandonment that made Adam jealous. Ronan loved like he didn’t care how much it hurt. 

Even years later, Adam still calculated everything. His spending, the hours of his shifts, how many hours he had slept and how much he could afford to care about someone or something. He was careful, hedging his bets. 

But with Ronan, he had let his guard down. Ronan treated everything like a fight, every day like an adventure and everyone as either a friend or foe — no in-between. 

There were always lines with Ronan, invisible until crossed, then forever divided. 

Adam was glad the roads were wide, empty and straight. It meant his mind was free to roam as his hands held steady. 

He arrived at the airport on time and sat to wait at a bench near arrivals. 

The board overhead flashed landed next to Ronan’s flight. Adam turned and craned his neck to see the slow meander of people. 

He searched every face, excited and apprehensive, until he spotted a shaved head and deadly scowl which softened as it spotted him. 

Ronan gait slowed and he sauntered up to Adam’s bench, “Parrish? Still alive without me?” he smirked. 

Adam scoffed and ducked his head, “What about you? Did the mayor pay you to leave or just kick you out?” 

Ronan grinned snakelike, “Oh no! The angry mob did that. Where does one even find a pitchfork these days?” 

With that he turned and began to walk towards the exit. Adam stood and followed, soon falling into step beside him. “Surely as a farmer you know where pitchforks come from?” 

Ronan rolled his eyes. “What are you going to tell me when a rake and fork love each other very very much…?” 

Adam gently pushed his arm in retaliation. This, he couldn’t lose this, because he knew despite how careful he had been it would crush him. 

xxx

Ronan threw his bag into the backseat of the shitbox and hopped into the passenger seat. “Where’s the maggot?” He asked. 

“Sleeping.” Parrish replied. 

Ronan nodded, trying to think of a way to bring up the fact that he was in love with Adam that wasn’t awkward. 

So, how was your weekend? Yeah, mine was great. I went on date with a movie star and realised I am completely in love with you. 

Not for the first time, Ronan contemplated barrel rolling out of the car. Too bad they were still slowly working their way through the airport parking lot. 

“So, what was it like? Dating a movie star?” Parrish asked liked there was nothing he wanted more than to not have the answer that question.

“Kinda weird.” Ronan answered truthfully. 

“What they won’t shut up about their job?” Parrish quickly turned to glance at him as he pulled onto the interstate. 

Just that brief glance sent shivers down Ronan’s spine. He remembered the feeling of leaning against the camaro, Gansey lying beside him looking up at the stars. Ronan imagined how Adam would look spread across his BMW, like he owned it, like he was worth a million BMWs. 

Ronan swallowed forcefully. “Yeah, something like that.”

Suddenly, passenger seat in the shitbox on the way home from a date with another man didn’t seem like the best setting for a love confession. 

Ronan had loved Parrish ever since he had walked into his latin class. He had been in love with him ever since he saw him pull apart and rebuild an engine.

He could wait a few more days. This was Adam. It had to be perfect. 

The rest of the drive was quiet. Ronan wondered if Parrish was working up to say something, but his mind was stuck daydreaming. 

He would do it at the Barns, at sunset, at the home that was built for love. 

They arrived at Fox Way where Blue was sitting outside on the front step. Her outfit could only be described as destroyed. It was a plain shirt singlet and denim shorts but everything was in unrecognisable condition. 

“Well?” She cried running towards the car.

Ronan swept her up into a large hug and spun her around, he was one of a rare few allowed to do so. 

Setting her down he replied, “LA survived, I guess.”

Parrish returned to his side holding Ronan’s overnight bag. 

Adam knew he needed to say something. And soon. 

But for now, he was struck silent by the relief he felt having Ronan by his side again. 

xxx

Henry shifted, his neck tight and sore from sleeping at a strained angle. He turned and felt soft t- shirt cotton press against his face. 

A phone beeped and vibrated softly against the couch. 

He was on a couch. 

Against his chest Noah stirred and groaned. Henry quickly shifted away from the other man, horrified to realise his arm had been draped across his chest and balled up Noah’s soft old t-shirt in his fist. 

The sun streamed through the windows hitting the wooden floor, softly. The sky outside was a washed out blue, it was not morning. 

“Shit.” Noah groaned and groped for his phone which had slid down between the couch cushions. “What time is?” Noah rubbed his eyes with the palm of his hand and scrubbed his scalp. 

Noah turned to face Henry, who still sat beside him, staring silent at the site of Noah’s white blond hair fanned out in a millions directions and the sound of his voice still gruff from sleep. 

Henry clicked on his home screen, then took a double take to confirm it was accurate. “2pm.”

Why hadn’t Gansey woken them? Maybe he had finally crashed out after worrying all week. 

He did that often, especially after a long film shoot. For weeks afterwards Gansey was a sleepy lump that shuffled between the couch and his bed. 

Noah had moved into the kitchen in search of the fancy instant coffee that Gansey always tried to hide from them. 

Henry walked past Gansey’s bedroom on the way to the bathroom, and paused. 

The door was open, covered tossed aside. Pyjamas pants stepped out of on the floor. 

Where was he? 

Henry put that aside until he walked back into the kitchen to see Noah clutching his phone so tight his knuckles had turned white. 

Henry felt a chill of foreboding run down his spine. 

Speechless, Noah turned the phone to face him. 

Instagram was open, a photo from Gansey’s official account. Gansey in the Pig morning sun streaming through his tousled brown waves and reflecting against his sunglasses. 

Captioned: Going on an adventure #winadate #surprisevisit 

Henry could see why Noah was in a comatose state. 

“I told you not to give him the password to his instagram” Henry commented, like that solved everything. 

He hesitantly scrolled through the comments, already in the thousands. Hundreds of cooing ohh and awes over Richard’s sudden ‘romantic gesture’. 

However Gansey had meant the post didn’t matter. Once again, the public made their own version of the truth. 

xxx

“My heart raced. He throttled the gas and I smelt burning rubber in my lungs. The night sped past us like it couldn’t keep up.” Ronan lounged against the yoghurt section ignoring Ms. Weinstein who was futilely trying to reach her Greek mango yoghurt on the top shelf. 

Blue huffed and rolled her eyes at Ronan, “but what did you actually DO on the date?” 

She moved to climb the dairy shelf to help Ms. Weinstein, who smiled in pity at Blue. 

Blue did not take well to being pitied. Adam quickly walked over and handed Ms. Weinstein the yoghurt before a war started in the dairy section. 

As soon as she left, Blue round back on Ronan, “well? I said details.” 

“I gave you details!” Ronan cried indignant. 

Blue harruffed. “About cars, hooning and burnt rubber.”

Ronan raised his eyebrow in question. 

Adam was trying to camouflage back into the baked bean display and silently hoping that Ronan’s description was all that happened. 

Ronan had been back for less than 12hrs. He came back lighter somehow. He seemed less afraid, not that he would ever admit it. Less haunted maybe? 

All Adam could see was scenes of all the things that might have happened to cause this change. 

Ronan was, by many stretches of the word, attractive, and Adam had seen first hand how his whole soul lit up driving at night. 

The thought of Gansey seeing that Ronan, of touching him, kissing him. 

“Where did you eat?” Blue prodded. 

“At a restaurant.” Ronan smirked. 

“What did you eat?” 

“A sandwich.”

Blue flapped her hands in frustration. 

Ronan’s smile stretched, proud to have annoyed her. “We talked. He drove. We looked at the stars on a hill. We talked. We went home. The end.”

Adam had enough. “Are you done?” 

Ronan’s eyes snapped to him. 

“I don’t remember a time before that story started.” Adam quipped. 

Ronan sunk back into his jibbing persona, “So sorry Parrish. I was instructed to give a detailed account. Next time I will make it more on your level. Maybe a spreadsheet? Or a stocktake of my expenditure?”

“Fuck off,” Adam grumbled and turned to look away to hide his smile. 

xxx

The next day Adam found Ronan hovering in the small staff kitchenette at work. 

The kettle was boiling and a mug sat ready on the counter, even though Ronan always bought himself coffee from the expensive drive thru. 

Adam suppressed a small smile. He had come to rely on this, on the small things. 

Ronan, ever an enigma, was both wild and reckless and dedicated to getting into work early enough every day to make Adam crappy instant coffee. 

Early on he had tried to bring Parrish the good stuff in a cardboard cup, but he had stiffly refused. 

This watery brown poison was their compromise. 

Adam came to stand shoulder to shoulder with Ronan, softly pressing into his side as he reached up to fetch the instant coffee from the shelf. 

He sighed as he stirred in the sugar. He was up late last night, organising apartment leases and looking for jobs close to college. 

It was his dream and it was really happening. 

And while it was definitely not his dream to be in a Piggly Wiggly forever, mopping up spilt juice and rostering around the church fair. He would miss it. Almost enough. 

“You there,Parrish? Or you back asleep in your apartment? Come on!” Ronan shoved him playfully, almost spilling the poison coffee. 

“Late night.” Adam mumbled. 

“Ohh yeah?” Ronan arched an eyebrow.

Adam breathed deep, the truth was far from what Ronan was insinuating. This was it, he needed to say something, the longer it went on the worst it would be. 

“Ronan, I-“

Ronan turned in shock and took a step back, “Wait? Seriously Parrish? Are you getting some?”

Adam shook his head angrily. “Can we just talk for a moment, please?”

“Uh, what do you think we are doing? Rain dancing?”

Adam stomped to sit down at the table. “Ronan.” 

He was aware he sounded like a petulant child, but it was Ronan’s fault. He started it. 

Ronan finally seemed to realise Adam did genuinely want to talk to him and came to sit down beside him on a creaky plastic chair. 

Adam took a steadying breathe, “Ronan. I have been thinking about this for a while, I don’t want to ruin our friendship, but I really feel like-“

The door burst open and hurricane Blue Sargent marched in. 

“What the fuck is this?” She demanded, shoving her phone in Ronan’s face. 

“Uh, your phone?” Adam snarked. 

Ronan, usually quick to join in on a jib, was silent. His eyes flickered over the screen again and again. 

“What?” Adam asked, his stomach flooding with dread. What someone hurt? Matthew? 

Blue turned the phone to face him. At first he was relieved it was only yet another instagram post from none other but stupid fancy Richard Gansey. Then he read the caption. 

“GUESS WHO’S COMING TO VISIT???” Blue screamed jumping ten feet into the air. 

“Great” Adam muttered head in his hands. 

He looked at Ronan, surprised to see the other man not looking too excited either. 

xxx

Ronan couldn’t believe this. 

For a moment, a split heart retching second he actually believed Adam was going to say he felt something. He felt something back.

But it was stupid. Just because Ronan’s head was swirling full of thoughts about Adam, didn’t mean the reverse was true. 

But still. For a moment Ronan thought he recognised the painful sharp of hope in Adam’s eyes as glanced down to his lips from himself. 

Adam was so close, he could almost hear the young man’s heart beating. 

Now, Parrish was mumbling about stock takes and marking down the meat aisle. 

He was so close, and yet still so closed off. Ronan didn’t know how long he could fight his way in. 

Now, Ronan was back to being sucked into the fantasy land that was Richard Gansey. 

He didn’t know what it was. Perhaps, he was a little unnerved by how quickly he could lose himself in Gansey’s presence. 

Was that the effect of being a fan, or something more?

xxx

"Come on! Let’s go!” Noah cried, bag in hand, waiting for Cheng like always. 

Henry stumbled out of his apartment, keys in hand, suit and hair immaculate. “You clearly don’t understand or appreciate the time it takes to maintain this look.” Henry sniffed indignant. 

Noah rolled his eyes and shoved his gym bag into the trunk of the uber. 

Henry would never live him down his t-shirt and baggy pants wardrobe but Noah didn’t care. 

At this point it almost was routine banter for them, with no real animosity left. 

When they both began working for Gansey years ago the animosity was very, very real. 

Noah wasn’t even sure how it started. Gansey hated there being conflict of any kind and did everything except make them hug it out. No, actually he did. Noah blushed, as he remembered the first time he felt Henry's fiery warmth seep into him. From that day on, it was his drug of choice.

Henry joined him in the back seat like Juan their favourite Uber driver was a chauffeur not a single dad studying to be a nurse. Juan chatted with them about TV shows, his opinions as always limited by his 15 yr daughters tastes, so basically the same as Henry's and Noah’s. 

Henry chattered away while scrolling through press releases on his phone and replying to emails.

They had spent the day fielding reporters and listening to Helen explain in no uncertain terms what they were to do with Gansey when they found him. 

Honestly, that was the scariest part of the day. At least Henry had been there, he somehow never seemed as intimated by Helen. 

He looked over at Henry, his face illuminated by the glow of his phone. “I , uh, wanted to say thanks. For today.” Noah stuttered. 

Henry flashed him a bright and easy smile. “Of course, I know Helen terrifies you.”

Noah smiled back. He could barely remember what it was like not getting along with Henry, they were so close now. Inseparable. 

As they finally reached the airport, Noah remembered why. Gansey was great but he was also a handful. 

This wasn’t the first time they had flown across the country, or further, to talk him down. 

But this time felt different. It was so public. 

Noah worried that the story might get out of hand.

“You coming?” Cheng called, “economy class won’t board itself!” 

xxx

Gansey had missed this. 

For once, everything felt quiet. 

His phone was turned off and in the backseat. His mind was focused on the goal, chanting in head Get to Henrietta, get to Ronan, get to explain, get to make it right. 

The wind whipped buffeted against the open window, competing with the satisfied roar of the engine. 

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that quiet but to Gansey it felt tranquil. It felt like home. This car was one of the few things he kept with him that was for him. 

No designer or social media consult picked it out. It was how he wished people saw him. Knowing that this was how Ronan would see him made him comforted him too. 

Gansey loved the open road that asked nothing of him, except further, except forward. The sky bowed down to meet the asphalt in shimmering horizon, a wavering portal to a future just out of reach. 

It was this, just this moment and Gansey felt alive. 

It was sleeping in the cheap motels and keeping on going. 

And then, all of a sudden he was there. 

Henrietta was everything Gansey could have wished for. Cute and picturesque like it was a cardboard cutout. 

Houses boarded by wooden fences and instead of glass, metal or wire. Porches wrapped around like skirts, curled trimming lacing the edges. Farm equipment and old cars retired in front lawns. The colours were out of a child’s paint box, mild and mixed but beautiful hues. 

For once Gansey felt like he and the Pig belonged there, part of the landscape of this strange vista. 

In LA, he was a sore thumb, followed and questioned. Here he was delightful invisible. 

Gansey didn’t want to turn his phone back on to find the Piggly Wiggly so instead he drove to the first, and possibly the only, motel. 

The Mountain Valley Inn boasted wood panelling decor, an ice machine in the corridor and more deer antlers than a zoo. 

Gansey was immediately charmed. The desk clerk, name tag Orla, was wearing a bright orange crochet halter neck singlet and gold hoops down to her shoulders. 

“Hi, how are you today, madam?” He directed very firmly to her eyes only. 

“Well, now.” Orla popped her purple bubblegum and licked her lips lavishly. “Look at you all the way out here chasing down your heart!” she cheered. 

Gansey paled and stuttered. He had been in this town two seconds and had already been recognised. “I beg your pardon?” 

“I’m psychic you know.” Orla winked. “your aura is bright red. Must be love!” 

That wasn't the only part of him that was bright red right now. 

“I’ll take a room for the night please.”

“Oh, honey. Don’t be so down and out. Make it at least two!” She chided. 

Gansey had no control over this conversation and could possibly understand where it was leading. “Yes, sure. Thank you." 

“Okay, that’ll be 300 even.” 

Gansey handed over three crisp hundred dollar bills and received the key card to room 4 in exchange. 

He was almost out the door, when he suddenly remembered his real reason for stopping here. 

“Oh, could you please direct me to-“

“Take the highway down to exit 45 and follow Owain Glade. You’ll hit the Piggly Wiggly in no time.”

Gansey breathed deep, “Right, thanks. Again.”

xxx

Ronan was cleaning up yet another case of mass destruction in the pick and mix aisle. Honestly, the whole concept sounded like an obviously bad idea to begin with to him. 

The gummy worms were squished flat on the linoleum floor, sneaker tracks embossed in the top. Ronan was currently on his hands and knees with a spatula. 

“Hey,” a soft voice called from above. Parrish. 

“Hey.” Ronan grumbled not looking up, ramming the spatula harder against the gummy. 

Parrish crouched down and handed over a spray bottle with bright blue liquid inside and scrub brush. “I, ah, I brought you these.” 

Ronan put them behind him and looked at Parrish, waiting for him to leave. “And?”

Parrish glanced down the aisle and behind him before sitting down in a clean patch of floor, crossing his ankles and wrapping his hands around his knees. 

“I want to explain.” 

Ronan’s head snapped up. “Explain what?”

Parrish swallowed hard, “I’ve been pissed.”

“No shit.” Ronan muttered. 

Parrish strained, and resorted to rubbing at the back of his neck and pulling on his tie. “I got jealous, alright?” 

Ronan pulled back to look at him, “Of who?” 

Parrish looked away angrily and ground his teeth, “I don’t know. You, for like just leaving? Like you have so much money Ronan. You could go wherever you want! Live wherever you want!” Parrish spread his hands out wide like he was pulling the words from his mouth with pliers. “And yet you live here? In this backwater shithole.” 

Ronan shrugged, unable to express how much his home meant to him. 

Parrish cocked his head, “Do you have any idea what Blue and I would give to have that kinda freedom?”

Ronan stayed silent again, he knew what pain was. His pain was just different monsters. 

Parrish was on a roll now, a real feverish rant. Ronan could see it in his eyes wide and rabid. All the determination of a dog with a bone. “And you know was pissing me off the most?”

Ronan shook his head dutifully but Parrish didn’t wait to continue. 

“Fucking Richard Campbell Gansey the Third! Like having a dating competition to cover up the fact that you punched up a guy in a liquor store, who does that?”

Ronan looked up and saw Gansey, bouquet of flowers in hand, frozen behind Adam. 

“…And his whole eco persona is so crap! I bet he doesn’t even recycle!”

Ronan stood up, “Shut up, Parrish.” He muttered softly. 

Gansey looked sheepish and blushed gloriously in the fluorescent lights. “Am I interrupting?” 

“No,” Ronan frowned. 

Gansey looked shy, “Can we talk?” 

Ronan nodded and tossed his sticky spatula on the ground. “Parrish! I’m taking lunch.” and walked off. 

“But it’s 3pm!” He heard Parrish call after him. 

But he ignored it. He never thought he was going to see Gansey again, except on a screen. But he was here. Looking like he just came through hell and a tumble dryer. 

And Ronan had to know why.


	5. The new visitor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard Gansey is in town, and Ronan's world has turned topsy turvy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey all, 
> 
> this is unbeta, so all mistakes are mine... which you probably guessed from the typos lol!
> 
> hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> please let me know what bits you like! 
> 
> have a lovely day wherever you and smile bright cause I love you so much for reading this!!

Noah and Henry stood in line for a cab outside Reagan Airport in Washington, DC the next day. Noah was rumpled and his hair mussed, while Henry remained as sharply primped as ever despite the late night flight. 

Cabs shuffled in line, all eagerly trying to slide in front of the politicians and businessmen. Presumably in the hunt for meatier tips. 

Finally an orange cab rolled up to them and the cabbie slung their arm out the window, “You gents need ride?”

Henry laughed and turned to Noah, “Coincidence.” he said, cause it wasn’t.

“Yeah.” Noah called out the cabbie. “Can you take us into the city?”

The cabbie nodded and after throwing their bags into the back of the car, they slid into the backseat.

They were out of the airport and onto the main road before the cabbie spoke to them again. 

“You folks aren’t from around here are you?” He spoke with a soft lilt to his voice. 

His cab card on the dash read Harold. He looked to be in his early fifties, but his face and shoulders had a softness to them that made Henry feel comfortable. He had thin dusty brown hair in fluffy curls on top of his head. His pale blue polo was so old it looked held together by habit and a prayer. 

This man looked to be a million miles away from Henry’s strict, harsh business mogul parents.

Noah piped up bright and cheery despite staying awake the whole flight, marathoning kids films, “Nah, we're LA city brats. How can you tell?”

The cabbie stopped at a red light and turned to level Noah an incredulous look. 

“What you two doing in DC then? Romantic getaway?”

Henry blushed and muttered “I wish.”

The cabbie chuckled and Noah turned sharply to look at him.

SHIT! He thought he had said that under his breath. 

“No.” Henry corrected. “We are on our way to visiting a friend in Henrietta.” technically true, at least.

“Get out”, Harold the cabbie exclaimed. 

Henry stilled, his hand moved to clutch the door handle. 

“What?” Noah murmured.

“My sister Karine lives right near there! She’s got a little homestead out in Singer’s Falls. Beautiful place, ain’t it?” he babbled excitedly. 

“Cool.” Noah responded vaguely.

“Maybe I could give you folks a lift up there? It’s been ages since I been out to the ol’ homestead.”

“That would be great” Noah piped up excited before Henry could say anything. 

Like, how do we know Harold isn’t a serial killer?

Or how much does a cab ride to rural Virginia cost? 

Is the homestead where he plans to bury their bodies? 

Do you even have sister, Harold? DO YOU?

"I can take you fellas up there, if you like? Whadya say?"

Noah smiled wide and was shaking hands before Henry had time to use his eyebrows to morse out how bad an idea this was. 

Noah smiled at him questionly, completely oblivious of the anxiety Henry was feeling. Noah's innocence always seemed to keep him safe. But just in case Henry would be there. Noah was his to protect, no matter what. 

Henry nodded. 

Noah beamed wider and continued to chatter away with the driver.

xxx

Ronan felt like he was waiting for the cameras to jump out from the bushes. 

He led Gansey along the sidewalk, strolling casually, like he wasn’t burning up on the inside. 

They walked by the old coin laundry when Ronan huffed and round on him, “Why the fuck are you here?” he demanded. 

Gansey looked taken aback- like he thought it was totally normal and reasonable to drive across the country to ambush someone at work after they rejected him. 

Who knows? Maybe this was a perfectly fucking ordinary Monday for a LA movie star?

“I wanted to explain my behaviour.” Gansey said to the floor. 

Ronan crossed his arms and waited. 

Gansey shuffled awkwardly, “Can I buy you lunch?”

“I don’t want anything from you but a fucking explanation.” Ronan spat, thick with vitriol. 

Gansey nodded, and walked ahead to the diner up ahead. 

The red and white awning fluttered in the breeze, faded against the flat blue sky. 

Ronan stood and breathed deep. He knew his anger would do him no good but it felt like a relief to let it in. It seeped into veins, hot and tingling, and wiped away any grey leaving only white fury. 

His selection in the glass window, was not that different from himself as an angry teen, but he was not that same scared angry boy. 

Gansey had bought a sandwich roll and sat down in a window booth, waiting for Ronan. 

The flashing neon open sign on the door blurred Ronan's vision as he walked through the door. A bell dinged overhead and Ronan’s eyes swam then adjusted to the dim. 

Ronan sat down at the table and pulled his legs up and draped his arm over the back of the booth and along the window sill. Battle stance disguised as ease and confidence.

Gansey let out a big breathe, his body deflated. “first of all, I want to apologise.” he paused, looking up through his bronzed lashes bashfully.

Ronan grunted in assent. 

“I genuinely meant to show you my cardboard model, and that is all.”

Ronan’s skin blushed deep tomato red. Looking back, Ronan wasn’t even sure what he had thought, or what he had wanted, except to escape the feeling of bone crushing loneliness. 

“I don’t blame you for assuming what you did, after all the media has said about me. I didn’t realise Henry and Noah were still going to be there. Henry is such a busybody, it is his job to be.” Gansey was babbling on frantically. 

“I didn’t assume.” Ronan murmured. “And I believe you.”

Gansey lifted his head at this, analysing him carefully. 

Ronan did his smokers inhale, rough blowing the air back out through his lips. “I don’t like people.”

“…But we were out all night?”

Ronan shook his head angrily, willing Gansey to understand, willing him to not have to explain himself. Eventually he gave up. “They surprised me.” 

Thankfully, Gansey nodded in understanding and he left it at that. 

“You drove all the way here? Just to clarify it wasn’t a booty call?” 

It was Gansey’s turn to blush. “Well, yes. And… I like your company.”

Gansey’s eyes were as gold as his heart, warm and pure and as boundless as the sky. Ronan felt like he was drowning. 

“Being with you felt like finding a piece I never knew I was missing. Talking with you was one of the most genuine and truthful interactions of my life.”

Ronan couldn’t believe it, Richard Gansey the third missed him. But he was more than that now. He was Gansey.

“A piece of what?” Ronan asked, expecting the self centred answer ‘myself’

“A mystery.” Gansey replied.

Ronan regarded the strange man in front of him, “I won’t ever be your bitch, and I am past being your fanboy.”

Gansey nodded. 

Ronan then held out his hand, “Friends?”

“Friends.” Gansey confirmed, his grip warm and firm.

xxx

Blue was pissed. 

It was like other people either didn’t know or care about the plans she had in her head? 

She had it all planned out. Adam would pick Ronan up from the airport and confess that he is leaving at the end of summer. Ronan would fess up about his more-than-obvious crush. They would live happily ever after, and Blue would finally be free from having to navigate their love lives! 

Honestly! She had rainforests to save, magic to explore. 

And yet, here she was working the checkout on a saturday morning. She watched Ronan and Adam silently orbit one other, pretending to ignore each other for two hours, before she had enough. 

“COULD ALL IDIOTS PLEASE REPORT TO CHECKOUT LANE 5, IMMEDIATELY.” She hollered over the P.A, “I REPEAT IDIOTS TO LANE 5. THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING AT YOUR LOCAL PIGGLY WIGGLY MART.” The intercom screeched and squealed as it disconnected. 

Parrish bustled over first, angrily shuffling between curious customers. “What the hell, Blue?” he hissed furiously coming to stand behind her in the checkout booth. 

Blue smiled sweetly and continued to serve Mrs Dittley, who was buying six frozen lasagnes, it was her husband Jesse’s favourite. 

Lynch sauntered up next, his shirt collar loose and showing the black singlet he wore underneath. 

“You rang, Maggot?” he called out to her, across the aisle. 

Blue finished serving Mrs Dittely, “…and here is your change, $6.12 cents ma’am. Have a lovely day.” before glaring at Ronan. 

“Yes, I did.” Her hands on her hips.

Parrish looked ready to explode like a shook up coke bottle, “Why?”

“Because. You’re both idiots.”

Ronan snorted, “Yeah, I think you covered that already.”

“You both are idiots,” she reiterated, “and I want to know what is going on with you and Gansey.”

Ronan folded his arms petulantly. “Nosy. Ask your psychic aunts if you’re so interested.”

Blue sniffed. “I tried. They said the stars are hiding behind a cloud, so I have to ask you.”

Ronan shrugged, “What about the tabloids?”

Parrish snorted his voice dripping with sarcasm, “That paragon of truth.” 

Blue ripped a magazine from the news stand next to the register and held it in front of his face, “What? So you’re saying this is true then?” she said skeptically. 

Ronan rolled his eyes at the front page, a blurred candid shot of Gansey with his hand pressed against Ronan’s chest, with the headline ‘LA lovers go rural!’

Ronan remembered the moment in question, an old man had called out at them in the street. Gansey was restraining him, the press a firm to hold ground, not a caress.

“Of course not! He’s just visiting!”

“RONAN!” Gansey bellowed bounding into the store excitingly clutching a piece of paper. “Guess what?” 

Ronan could only stand in silent bewilderment. God only knew what Gansey would do next.

“I bought a home!” He fist pumped the air, his whole body throwing itself into the motion, vibrant and ecstatic. 

“Oh, for fucks sake.” Adam muttered under his breath, but only Blue heard him. 

xxx

They stood outside Gansey’s new ‘home’.

“Gansey, where you said you bought a place? This is it?” Ronan squinted against the afternoon sun to look up at the derelict brick factory in the empty lot they had driven to after work. 

Gansey beamed wide and glorious, “Yes, isn’t it marvellous?”

Blue crept up on her tippy toes to whisper in Adam’s ear, “Is he for real?”

Ronan turned to see Adam shrug in response, and then raise his eyes to meet Ronan’s, flashing before turning away. 

Ronan was worried about Adam, he seemed different lately, lost even. Ronan knew something was wrong, Blue knew too, even Opal had asked after Parrish the other day. 

A loud creaking sound made him whip his head around. 

Gansey was pushing open the steel door, the bolt lock and chain still swinging in his hand and clanking against the frame. 

“Come on, let’s explore!” Gansey cried, before disappearing into the dark doorway. 

Ronan shrugged before following him inside and turned to see Blue dragging a reluctant Parish in by his arm. 

Gansey stood, back to him, in the centre of the dimly lit space. The air was so filled with dust it hung like a fog around him. Wires, tables, pallets and other clutter filled the space. Still, Gansey looked like a prince in his castle. 

“Whadda pile o’ crap.” Parrish scoffed. 

Gansey turned with bright shining eyes, not at all dulled by Parrish’s scathing comment. “ I love it.”

Ronan expected Blue to be wearing a similar mask of horror to Parrish, but instead she stared openly with rapture at Gansey. Interesting. 

Gansey turned and ran up a flight of concrete steps to the next level. Ronan, like the string tied to a balloon did not hesitate to follow. 

The next floor was just as cluttered at the first, but an entire wall was windows. The afternoon sun seeped into the room.

Gansey poked around for a few minutes into the other small rooms before deciding this was it. 

They spent the rest of the afternoon hauling junk down stairs and piling it up on the cracked asphalt of the parking lot. 

Adam had left early to go work, he was working the graveyard shift, and took Blue with him as she had to help her Aunts out with a reading. 

It eventually became too dark to see and Ronan and Gansey slumped down in the doorway, shoulders pressed together, both covered in dust and dirt. 

Ronan sighed. Once again he had gotten swept up in the whirlwind of Gansey. 

“I’m sorry.” Gansey whispered into the falling darkness. “It was selfish coming here.”

“Doesn’t mean it was wrong.” Ronan replied.

He felt Gansey straighten and pull back his shoulders, taking a steadying breath. “So. How long have you been in love with Adam Parrish?”

Ronan’s heart seized. Was it that obvious? Could everyone see? Did Adam know and he was ignoring it on purpose? 

Or maybe it was just another way Gansey managed to stab into his heart?

“Almost forever. For as long as I have been able to love.”

“Why haven’t you told him?”

Ronan’s eyes were visibly filled with self loathing.

Gansey scoffed. “we chose you, remember? For the competition?”

Ronan stared down at his dusty, scuffed boots, “I want to. I just want it to be special.”

Gansey brightened excitingly and embrace him. “I can help!” 

Ronan was about to pull away and explain that big Hollywood parties were NOT the way to woo Adam Parrish, when they both heard the distinctive shutter of a phone camera. 

Ronan looked up to see a kid in a hoodie on a bike. 

“Oi!” he cried and ran at them. 

The kid sped off on their bike, doing a triumphant ollie before escaping through a grassy alley.

“Little fucker!” Ronan huffed bent over and out of breath. 

Gansey caught up to him, only a second behind, “Buggeration.”

xxx 

Adam woke up curled up in a ball on his thin ratty mattress. It dipped in the middle and he could feel the floor underneath, hard pressed against his hip bone. 

He rolled over and turn off his alarm before it snoozed itself. Adam did not want to go to work today. 

Ordinarily, he liked his job. He worked in a relatively safe, climate controlled environment. He worked with Blue and Ronan. It was not his parents local supermarket. Practically a dream job. 

He was working with Ronan today, all day. The other man seemed so different after returning from LA, more settled, less afraid and less angry.

Gansey made Ronan different too. Adam always secretly knew he had a special claim on Ronan’s attention and focus, but that seemed dimmed. It was like the sun moved behind a cloud, cold and darker even though you knew it was still the same space.

Adam waited until the last possible moment before getting out of bed, quickly showering, dressing and eating breakfast. 

As he raced into the staff room at the Piggly Wiggly, Ronan turned and flicked the switch on the kettle. 

Adam sighed, moving to stand at his side as he reached for the instant coffee and a mug. 

“Cutting it fine, Parrish.”

Adam harrumphed in response. He did not want to be scrutinised today. His head was swimming with all the reasons Ronan would care for Gansey to him. 

“Hey, you okay?” Ronan asked. 

“Yeah.” Adam ground out before retreating to the stock room to hide. 

Adam managed to hide from his feelings and Ronan for most of the day. He helped Pete out in fixing the meat slicer. He discussed moving the meat section further from the bakery section with Katie as customers had complained about strange smelling baked goods. Katie argued about competing for space near the one good air conditioner. 

Adam preferred to lead, not boss. So in the end they compromised on a solution and Adam spent every other spare minute of his day gathering fans from storage. 

Adam felt relieved that he managed to collect his things to leave unnoticed. 

He knew that eventually Ronan would find him, to say they could no longer be friends. Adam wanted to avoid that moment for as long as possible. 

He walked through the carpark, thumbing idly through his keys, all tangible reminders of his achievements. A place to live, a car, a job. 

He could survive this. He had to. Maybe it would be easier this way, than saying he was leaving. 

He looked up to see Ronan lounging on the hood of his car, waiting for him. 

Crap. 

He walked towards him, hands in his pockets. 

Ronan eyes held him, daring him forward like a predator with prey. 

Adam stood silent, waiting for the blow. That was always the worst part, the waiting. 

“Just say it already,” Adam bit out, unable to bare it any longer. The night arm was warm but daggers prickled under his skin. 

Ronan paled, face glowed with the light from the store. “I don’t know what you want me to say…” his voice tight and strained. 

Adam opened his mouth to shout back a retort then shut it again. He breathed. Ronan was fire, and he was the gasoline, between them they could burn this whole place to the ground. 

Adam mange himself change tactics, “Why are friends with him?” he asked. 

Ronan looked taken aback and confused by the question, “Who?”

Adam scoffed. “Who do you think? Gansey.” 

He shifted his weight and resumed fidgeting with his keys to avoid eye contact. “Why are you friends with him?”

Adam risked a glance at Ronan having to know what his face was doing. 

Ronan looked pitying. Adam hated it. 

“He is so lonely.” he sighed. 

Oh. Ronan pitied Gansey. Not him. 

“I don’t think has any friends not really.” he continued. 

“He’s a movie star Ronan.” Adam scorned. What could Richard Gansey want for? 

“He’s lonely.” Ronan repeated. “I want to help him.”

Adam felt the gasoline inside him ignite. 

Gansey was lonely? 

Then what was Adam? He was more than alone, more than lonely. Lonesome. that was the only word he could think for it. Or desolate. 

Wherever he was, who ever he was around. He was always, still a desolate lonesome boy. 

“Well.” Adam scraped out, voice hard as ice. “Enjoy your pity project.” 

He cut Ronan a wide berth before unlocking his car and driving off the second Ronan was out of the way. 

Not for the first time, Adam cried softly and silently into his pillow. 

He was dreading leaving Henrietta and his friends but now it could come soon enough. 

xxx

Gansey did not know what to make of the receptionist at the Mountain Valley Inn. Orla seemed to only wear bright gaudy colours, impractical and heavy looking jewellery and thick platforms, adding to her already impressive height. 

Whenever Gansey passed Orla would call after him promising him tarot readings, palm consults, and aura examination that he though might just be innuendo but he wasn’t sure. So it struck it that afternoon that as he returned to the motel, he was able to do so in peace. 

Peeking his head into the reception Gansey saw Orla with none other than Blue. Orla was passing over jars and ribbon bags to her in a large cane basket. 

Both were strange and powerful women, sore thumbs in everyday society but seeing them together they fit and matched each other somehow. Gansey stood transfixed until Blue glanced up to see him hovering in the doorway. 

“Well, pshaw. Howdy there stranger.” She greeted him, ushering him inside. 

Today, he realised was the first time he had seen her out of uniform. 

She appeared to be wearing long socks, that travelled even higher than intended due to her height, and frayed denim shorts covered in patches and batches. Blue’s shirt had been bleached in places and then covered with mismatched pieces of fabric. 

The combined effect was overwhelming and Gansey had no idea where to look. 

He was unconsciously drawn to the three inch strip of smooth brown flesh between her socks and shorts, although a part of him knew that was a terrible idea. 

Orla coughed pointedly and shot Blue a dark look. Blue turned sharply on her heel and heaved the basket off the counter and strode out the room, ignoring Gansey’s offers of help. 

It was times like these, when he felt so completely useless at human interaction, that he missed acting. 

Hiding behind a character, like the shield of another’s thoughts and desires cloaking his own. 

Gansey realised he didn’t know how to admit what he wanted. He felt like it hadn’t mattered or been asked for in so long. 

Walking to his motel room, he decided that this was why he had come here. To discover his own heart. 

Gansey smiled softly to himself and then froze as he saw the two guests waiting for him in his room. 

xxx

Noah charged at Gansey and hugged him fiercely, curled against his chest. 

Gansey huffed gently, and patted Noah’s hair softly more like a doting father or big brother than his client. 

Noah could hear the bed creak as Henry moved to stand behind him. 

Noah let go and Henry smiled and grasped Gansey’s hand in a firm handshake. 

Gansey breathed out slowly, “I’m not sure what surprises me more. That you found me at all? Or that it took you this long?”

Henry shook his head, “We were right there Gansey. Why didn’t you come to us? Why did you have to pull a stunt like this?” 

Gansey just shrugged. It felt important, and once in Henrietta, he knew it was the right thing to do. 

Henry threw his hands in the air, an expert at reading Gansey by now. “I have put out a million fires already. Just cause you ignore the tabloids doesn’t mean they're not there.”

Gansey began to move around picking up discard laundry and gift shop trinkets he had flung about the room. “I know, Henry.”

“Yes,” Henry agreed. “You know better. But your new friends don’t. They are the ones who will suffer from all this.” 

Noah stood silent throughout Henry’s lecture, arms folded and brown furrowed. He didn’t have the strength to call Gansey out, didn’t mean Henry was wrong.

“Gansey, you need to come back to LA.” Noah pleaded. 

Gansey’s eyes hardened molten gold frozen solid. He didn’t even respond. 

Henry sighed and dramatically slumped into the chair in the corner of the room. 

“Not just because we miss you pretty face, Dick Gansey.” he huffed. “We got a call from an independent director, Karmara Jones? She said she would like you to audition for her latest proj- OOF” 

Gansey was on his feet and rushing at Henry before he had time to prepare himself. 

Noah hid his smile behind a hand, watching Henry’s chair tip back against the wall with the force of the hug. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…” Gansey was babbling, completely beside himself. 

He looked to be in shock. Noah had only seen his like this a few times. And all those times and ended up in award ceremonies and Christmas bonuses. 

“When?” Gansey whispered.

“She wants you back in town, latest end of week.” 

Gansey sat down heavily on the bed. 

He only just got here, he couldn’t just leave? 

Could he?


	6. The good intentions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gansey gets a call. 
> 
> A lot of silly ideas get thrown around... 
> 
> Noah and a snowglobe...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOAAAHHH WE'RE HALFWAY THEREEE! WOOAAHHH LIVIN' ON A PRAYER!!
> 
> guys this is actually amazing, thank you for sticking through and reading this. 
> 
> Also just wanna say this time of year an be a bit hectic. please take care of yourselves out there, 
> 
> Yours, Never

“Are you dating Richard Gansey?” Declan demanded. 

Ronan humphed loud enough for his phone to transmit the sound all the way to Declan sitting in his office in D.C. 

“What? You’re saying it’s not true?” Declan demanded. 

Ronan crouched on the floor giving his German Shepard Toesty a well-deserved belly rub.

He was arguing, well talking, to Declan on speakerphone.   
“Fucks sake!” He cried. “It’s like y’all ACTUALLY believe the shit you read online!” 

“well-’’

“Next you’ll be telling me chocolate cures cancer!” 

“Oh, Come on, Ronan!” 

Toesty startled at the noise but settled back down again as Ronan cooed and patted her snout. 

“The answer is no.” Then he hung up. 

xxx 

Henry was having a hell of a day. 

“No, no, no. I assure Richard Gansey is very keen to audition for the role.” he soothed into the phone. 

Karmara huffed, “Then why isn’t he here? Auditioning? Telling me himself how keen he is for the role?” 

Henry pinched the ache between his eyes and tried to say calm. “I can assure you, he has a perfectly good reason for the delay.” 

“Ha. Like what? According to his Instagram, he is knee-deep in Dumfuck, Virginia, getting distracted creating a hipster warehouse condo.” 

Henry let out a silent curse and bit his lip vengefully. 

Damn it, Czerny! 

New mission: block Gansey from his own social media for his own good. 

“Well?” Karmara demanded, just as Gansey crept back into the motel room. 

“I will review his schedule and get back to you.” Henry forced out, as Gansey whispered to him ‘is that Karamara?’ 

Henry nodded. 

“I can hear Richard.” 

Henry opened his mouth to lie when Gansey snagged the phone out of his hand. 

“Hi, Karmara” he beamed out in typical Gansey charm. 

Henry couldn’t hear her reply but her tone was enough to know, it wasn’t good. 

Gansey beings to pace back and forth, animatedly describing his journey to Henrietta. He had the voice no-one can say no to, it was different from his actor voice. It was raw and fevered with excitement — aching with want. 

“The mountains here, Karmara. You should see them! And did you know this place is on a ley line? There is a theory that Owain Glendower travelled here in death, brought across the sea by magicians.” 

Gansey stood at stared out at the cracked asphalt parking lot with reverent eyes unseeing. 

“Karmara, this is exactly where I need to be. This place is magical, haunted and nostalgic all at once. This is the perfect place to prepare for your film.” 

Henry smiled at the way Gansey talked as if he already had the role, knowing Gansey he probably did. 

Karmara laughed on the other side of the call and murmured assent. 

Gansey hung up and let out a relieved sigh. “Well, at least that worked” he breathed with a quirked smile.   
xxx 

Adam was coming close to explosion. 

Gansey seemed to be firmly settling into Henrietta like a cat circling and digging its claws into your lap. 

Blue had repeatedly entreated Adam to talk to Ronan about his leaving so many times, that honestly Adam was surprised she hadn’t done it already. But really, he knows threats are Blue Sargent’s way of proving she cares. While she is tiny and terrifying, she is almost family at this point. 

Ronan had been distant and distracted, Adam assumed it was because of Gansey. 

Gansey had a force, pulling everything to face him, like plants to the sun. 

Adam felt like the moon, causing only waves and only visible once the sun retreated. 

Ronan stormed into the break room at the Piggly Wiggly and slammed down the switch on the kettle so hard it bounced on the counter. Ronan stretched up to fetch the instant coffee on the shelf and snatched a mug down. 

Adam repressed a sigh, all these little rituals were not the same. They were soon to end, but not like this. 

Adam was to be forgotten before he even left. 

“Perk up, Parrish.” Ronan huffed. “Maybe this shit awful coffee crap will put hair on your chest?” 

Adam tried to smile and clutched the mug. 

The heat burned through to his fingers turning them colder and numb somehow. 

Adam watched the swirl of coffee granules dissolve and curl into steam off the mug. He glanced up. 

Ronan was slouched against the counter, tie askew, sleeves rolled up and a singlet sticking out over his dark jeans. “What the fuck is up with you today? 

Adam shrugged. “Nothing.” 

Ronan huffed in mocking disbelief. “nothing” he mimicked in a high pitch whine. 

He kicked off the counter and strode out the room, pausing at the doorway to turn back. “You coming or what?” 

“Huh?” 

“Come, I’m not dealing with you like this. And neither will anyone else.” Ronan drawled before leaving. 

That was all the explanation Adam got. 

Adam found Ronan waiting impatiently at the BMW. “Get in, loser. We’re going shopping.” Ronan monotonously droned. 

Adam just rolled his eyes and got in the damn car. 

xxx 

Henry escaped to the nearest tourist shop with Noah, as soon as Gansey got off the phone with Karmara. 

Gift shops were a habit they had somehow adopted years ago. 

Henry Cheng was an only child with busy parents, he liked the reminder of all the places he had been. 

Whereas, Noah was from a loud sprawling family that was messy but tightly knit. 

The first snow globe was bought as an apology for the long-standing “mystery” of disappeared peach snaps. 

Now, it was a tradition. Sometimes Gansey came too, as he was also an appreciator and connoisseur of the mundanely strange. 

Noah whistled and held up a rubber turkey dressed up as a maid. Henry cocked his head in return. 

“Woof!” Noah replied. 

Ahh, a dog toy maybe? 

Henry wandered past the racks of commemorative spoons, landmark calendars, and scenery postcards, to find his favourite bit - the figurines. 

What made someone special enough to be characterised and moulded in plastic? Henry scanned over the faces, sports stars, historical figures, superhero action figures. 

Unfortunately, he noticed very few people of colour. Certainly no-one like him, only a few women and definitely no-one queer. 

“Hey! Check this out!” Noah came and shoved an egg timer in his face shaped like Humpty Dumpty. 

Henry snorted, “Bit on the nose?” 

Noah shrugged and turned to survey the wall with him. 

“I have an idea.” Henry hesitantly said. He paused. 

“An idea?” Noah prodded. 

“If Gansey was on that wall, do you think anyone would buy him?” Henry nodded towards the wall. 

Noah squinted his eyes, trying to imagine it, “Maybe? Definitely, if it was Captain Bismark!” 

Henry shook his head. “No, the studios already made Bismark action figures. Remember, they made his face look like a Ken doll?” 

“Gansey is a Ken doll.” Noah snipped. 

Henry’s mouth dropped open as he clutched his chest in shock. 

“What?” He shook his head, this was not the point. “Whatever. But! What if it was Gansey on that wall? Queer- loving, charity hosting, multi-award winner Gansey?” 

Noah did not look sold. 

Henry sighed. “Don’t you want your siblings and cousins and nieces and nephews to have more to look up to than this?” 

Noah raised hands in defeat. “Okay… maybe it is an idea if he can be a bobblehead. But what are you going to do with it?” 

“I have no idea. Yet!” Henry smiled wide. 

xxx 

“ARRGGHHHHHH!!! FUCK! FUCK! RONAN! SLOW DOWN!!” Adam howled, clutching white-knuckled to the trolley base as Ronan drove in faster and faster circles through an abandoned lot. 

“NEVER!” Ronan roared back, voice caught in the wind. “EVERY TIME YOU SAY THAT I GO FASTER!!” 

He didn’t know if Adam heard but he laughed and howled back “YOU FUCKING BASTARD.” 

He was so beautiful like this, seconds from disaster, his whole body buzzing alive and free. He was luminescent. 

“You loveable piece of shit, I love you so much.” Ronan murmured, staring at Adam in the side mirror. 

“What?” Adam called. 

“NOTHING!” Ronan shouted and pressed the accelerated harder and pushed into the next gear. Smiling as he saw Parrish grin and swerve. 

It was only going to end in blood. Parrish's palm slipped forward and he barrel-rolled across the asphalt. 

Ronan slammed on the brake and jumped out of the BMW. 

Parrish was shaking on the ground, blood-streaked down his arms and pants ripped. Ronan could hear the sound of short sharp breathes huffing in and out. 

“Adam?” he whispered and gently touched his shoulder. 

Adam rolled onto his back, softly laughing with tears in his eyes. “You little shit.” Ronan cursed and moved to lay down beside him. 

The asphalt gravel was hot and bit into the exposed flesh of his shoulders. He had ditched his work-shirt before they even left the store. 

The sun was a big white ball, trying to burn out his retinas, in the never-ending blue sky. Ronan basked in it and lay content listening to the sound of Adam’s laughter slowly evening out. 

He basked in the heat shining down on him, unmatched by the heat emitting from their shoulders and limbs pressed together, all the way down their bodies, their shoes idly knocking together, Ronan’s scuffed black boots against Adam’s meticulous cleaned but worn sneakers. 

Adam turned to face him and blew breath against his neck to get his attention. 

Ronan turned to face him, bringing them even closer. 

“Your turn.” Adam smiled mercilessly. 

xxx 

Gansey, despite his grand lecture to Karmara, did not spend the day researching. 

He decided today was for the important step before research, a place to research in. 

So he hauled, dragged and something just kicked all of the debris out of Monmouth. He enjoyed it, the physicality of it, that it was just for him. There were no cameras anywhere, he hadn’t been living off raw vegetables to have the kind of body the directors demanded. 

It was gross and kind of boring, but it was his and he was real. This was going to be his space, his haven. 

There were dozens of desks on the first floor, he piled them up in the parking lot. Then he found old boxes and shelves and add that to the pile. 

After lunch, the pile was taller than him and twice as wide. 

The Pig was far too small and precarious and precious to cart the rubbish and it was too much for a skip… 

Gansey rubbed at the heat beating down on his shoulders and thought. 

xxx 

Ronan wished he could say he regretted the day he taught Adam stick shift in the BMW but the truth was any pain he had to endure was worth this. 

He gripped the trolley edge tighter, the tops of his fingers scraping and catching against the gravel. His muscles strained and clenched, holding out against the force trying to pull them free. His neck jerked painfully at a sudden turn, he looked up… There he was, eyes glued to Ronan flitting between the rearview and side mirrors. 

Adam twisted his head and shoulders out the window to shout, “YOU READY FOR MORE?” 

Ronan nodded. Bring it on Parrish. 

He heard the rumble then his body jerked with the burst of acceleration. 

“WAAAAHOOOO” Ronan hollered to the sky and all the heavens above. 

Parrish joined in, pumping a fist at the sky, out the open window.   
This was a moment worth living for. 

xxx 

If forced later to describe how his current activity was Important Research for his acting role… he would say… 

Well, Gansey was sure he could make something up and if he talked for long enough maybe they would forget that the sentence started with setting a pile of trash on fire. 

Yeah… on second thought maybe he shouldn’t have added that to his Instagram story. 

Henry was going to kill him. 

In the meantime, Gansey thought he may as well enjoy his own personal bonfire. The day was falling into a beautiful summer’s balmy evening. Gansey sat in his designer jeans on an old milk crate he found in the warehouse and watched the stars slowing revealing themselves. 

The fire crackled and spat against wood and varnishes, the smoke was black and blew into his eyes. 

But it was peaceful, while he was surrounded by manmade things, the parking lot, his car, the Monmouth warehouse. There was something primal and elemental about the bonfire that drew him in. Like a song you couldn’t quite hear- it called closer, closer gently drowning out everything else. 

A noise cut through, jerking Gansey back into his body. 

“Wooo Wopp WOOO” a siren chirped, getting closer. 

Bugger! 

xxx 

They were sitting on the hood of the BMW. 

Ronan had found some warm beers rolling around in the trunk. 

They fizzed everywhere, spurting into Parrish’s eyes, as Ronan popped the cap with his keychain opener. 

They sat in the quiet, listening to the summer bugs hum and chirp, watching the light change from clear blue to a soft dusky purple. 

“Ronan, I have to tell you something,” Adam whispered. 

Ronan's heart thumped painfully. “What?” 

Was this it? Did Parrish feel something too? Or did he finally get sick of the way Ronan looked at him all afternoon? Was going to tell him to back off and that they were just friends? 

Ronan’s mind raced, frantically trying to predict what Parrish would say. 

Maybe a massive flying two-headed monster would swoop down and kill him before it was too late. 

Adam turned to face him, pulling his knee onto the bonnet, keeping space between them. 

“I’m leaving.” 

The phone rang, Ronan’s phone. 

He almost didn’t recognise the dial tone but Parrish shot him a look and snorted “It’s not mine.” 

Ronan huffed and answered, “Gansey? What’s up?” 

Adam tried to contain his exasperation.

“Woah. Woah. Slow down. Yeah no, I’m coming now.” 

Ronan hung up. 

“What the fuck, Parrish?” Ronan exploded. 

“I’m going to college. This is my last summer.” Adam slid off the bonnet, moving slow and steady, eyes trained on Ronan. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Ronan spat. 

“I- I umm I uh” Adam stuttered. 

The flame in Ronan suddenly extinguished, “You're leaving me?” 

“I can’t be here forever Ronan, I’ve got to get out.” Adam pleaded, “don’t you ever feel like that?” 

Ronan kicked himself off the bonnet, “Yeah, I do.”


	7. The walk out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan's day does not go as planned... not that he really had a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh dear,   
Well, I finally finished Chapter 7...  
I love you all soooooo much for reading!! 
> 
> For those that want to know: this chapter deals with Opal struggling in the foster system. I don't want to hurt anyone or portray untruths. SO It is super vague... I hope yall are okay with it. I am not saying this is how it is, it is just for plot struggles... 
> 
> To be honest I kept going through in my head, thinking after this emotional breakdown I will buck up and finish the chapter, but there have been too many to count. I have some help and hugs. I hope that all of you out there have support. 
> 
> If not, just know this rainbow loves you!! xoxoxo

“GANSEY!” Ronan roared into the carpark. 

Monmouth was empty, save for a Police car with lights still flashing. 

Ronan spotted a pyre of smoke drifting lazily from behind the building and moved to follow it.

It was dark by the time he reached Monmouth.

He saw silhouetted figures huddled around the burning haze. Gansey's sharp broad shoulders flanked on either side by the bulking swaggering shape of cops. 

SHIT!!

Ronan ran forward running until he heard a deep chuckle and saw one of the cops pat Gansey on the back. 

Ronan pulled himself to a sharp stop. Anyone, anyone but Gansey wouldn’t pull this off. He was fire, lighting up the dark.

The cops each shook hands with Gansey and ambled back to their car. One of them tipped their hat at a sweaty, flustered Ronan as they strolled past. 

Ronan shuffled up to stand by Gansey’s shoulder. 

“What the fuck, Gansey?” 

Gansey’s soft smug smile melted down, “What?” 

Ronan grinned shittily back at him, “You’re something else.”

Gansey shrugged, “Once I explained the situation they were only to help.”

“Sure they were” Ronan snarked.

xx

That night the roads were dark and filled with emptiness. 

Ronan felt jerky at the wheel. Usually driving relaxed Ronan when few other things would, but the night was too still.

All he could see was Adam’s face and the words ‘I’m leaving’ echoing over and over. 

xxx

Ronan never knew what moment he was in, whether in dreams or in reality. 

He was dreaming, eyes wide shut to the darkness, Opal leading the way down a muddy track. Deeper, darker. The mud swarmed with worms and beetles and spiders. The smell of the earth filling his nostrils, rich, wet and complicated. 

The dream was a happy one, Opal skipping off into the distance. 

Until Ronan couldn’t follow. Until the worms and beetle bugs and spiders melted into black oozing death. Drowning out all life. All light. All sound. 

He couldn’t reach her. He would be first, but that was only a delay. 

The emptiness slowly filled with something worse than the crushing black. A want to consume everything, a never-ending desire. 

Pain, jealously, sadist dreams all in one. It wanted more. 

Ronan helpless, let it in. It greedily swarmed in blacking out his memories bright and painfully with equal hunger. 

Soon, too soon, it became bored. It wanted a new taste. 

Opal. 

He cried out but he couldn’t. He had no voice, he had no mouth, no ears. He was nothing. 

Ronan awoke shuddering, voice hoarse, cold sweat clammy on his skin. He was frozen, his limbs slowly returning back to him. 

This was his sixth dream about Opal. 

He had barely seen her in days, and when he did she shuffled to hide or hobbled away. 

He was afraid.

xxx

Adam hunched over the bar and nursed his lukewarm cider. The liquid turned overwhelmingly sweet as it became flat. Disgusting. 

“Would you cheer the hell up? You did it!” Blue admonished and shoved his arm. 

Adam levelled her a heavy glance. “Here’s to the fact my best friend-” 

Blue coughed dramatically. 

“- One of my best friends,” he amended, “will never speak to me again. Cheers.”

Blue rolled her eyes, “You’re overacting. He is just sulking. In a week's time, he will have set a trash can on fire, kicked over a barrel and graffitied the side of a building and be all better!” Blue sounded cheerfully optimistic.

Adam leaned his head to rest on her shoulder, as she wrapped an arm around him, hugging him in tight. 

“You’ll see” she promised. 

Adam smiled and then immediately regretted it as Tad Carruthers quickly took that as an invitation to stroll over. 

“What are we celebrating?” he shouted over the thin bar. 

Blue smirked, “The effectiveness of my violent ultimatums!”

Tad looked concerned and laughed warily, “Okaaaay.”

Blue seemed even more pleased by his discomfort. 

“What was the, umm, ultimatum about?” Tad raised an eyebrow and attempted a rakish smile. 

Adam saw Blue gulp down her whiskey in preparation for answering. 

“I’m leaving” he blurted out, his voice thick with Virginia dirt as he forced out the words. 

Tad’s face fell before a blank mask covered his face. 

Blue and Adam, both veterans of the customer service industry, recognised it well. 

“Pshaw!” Blue cried, knocking Adam’s shoulder. “He’s not just leaving, our man’s going to college!”

Tad’s face was still a frozen mask, then he shook himself and a filthy grin split his face. 

Adam braced himself for whatever was going to come next. 

“Well, if you go and college life isn’t as wish-fulfilling as you hoped, you know where to find me. I’m sure can fulfill-” eyebrow raise “- all your wishes.” Wink, and gone. 

Adam and Blue turned to each other, both miming vomiting with fingers in their throats. 

When they had both recovered, Blue said: “Do you ever feel like there are some people who are so annoying but you still find them attractive?”

Adam stared her down, “Please tell me you don’t mean wish-fulfillment Tad over there, do you?”

Blue scoffed. 

“DO YOU?” Adam demanded. 

Blue blushed. 

Adam, Adam could not believe this. Tad? They had spent years laughing about him. No, no no no no no….

“It’s Gansey.” She blurted out.

“Yeah, he is a movie star.”

Blue hung her head down, “It’s not just movie star him, it is the real him. The bumbling nerd Gansey, the charming idiot professor Gansey… I don’t know..”

“Oh my GOD! You like him! You LIKE like him!!” 

And with that Blue threw his cider in his face and they had to leave the bar.

xxx

Sometimes, things that seemed so easy, so automatic to other people suddenly felt impossible to Ronan. 

Which was how he ended up at work on a Sunday morning on no sleep and belly full of coffee. 

Usually, Sundays were his favourite day. Opal would come and hang around, jumping up and down the aisles and dancing between the crates. 

He helped Kevin open up the shop, restocking shopping bags and baskets and the entrance. He glanced up through the window and spotted Opal scuffing her sneakers against the asphalt in the parking lot. 

Ronan knocked on the glass until she looked up, her eyes wet with tears. 

Shit! 

Ronan felt his whole body run cold, he was awake, he could do this. He had to, he had to be there for her. 

He flashed a comforting smile and signaled with his hands that he would be back in a minute. 

Ronan pushed past Kevin into the office to grab the keys. 

“Bro, we don’t open for like 15mins? What the fuck?” Kevin called after him. 

“There’s a kid crying out there!” Ronan shouted back without breaking pace. 

He didn’t wait or care for Kevin’s reply. 

He shoved the keys so forcefully in the lock, they fumbled and jammed. 

He froze and took a deep breath. He needed to be calm. 

Opal was sitting on the ground, sniffling and rubbing her eyes. 

Ronan approached her slowly, “Hey, kiddo. Everything okay?” 

He saw lip begin to quiver as she turned her head away and nodded. Stubborn strong little pup. 

Ronan sighed comically loud, “Well that’s good, cause I could really use a hug!” 

Opal didn’t respond or move.

He crouched in front of her and pouted pitifully. 

Opal still tried to turn away, wrapping her arms around herself. The tears turned into great hiccupping sobs. 

“I’m here.” Ronan said softly as he sat down beside her. 

Opal continued to cry, holding herself and rocking slightly. 

They sat like that until Opal sobs slowly pattered out into deep shuddering breathes and shaking shoulders. 

Ronan knew from his own dark days that sometimes all that can be done to is be there. He wished he could whisk her away. He wondered if he could just pull her into a crushing hug and wipe her tears out of her eyes. But he knew, this was what she needed most and could accept right now. 

xxx

Ronan was officially 20 minutes late for his shift. 

Opal had stopped crying and wiped her eyes, her breath came and went in shuddering sighs. 

In the few words Opal had managed out she made it clear she did not feel safe at the foster home and refused to go back. 

Ronan recognised the grim determination on her lips, from his friend’s face years ago. 

Ronan had already decided he was going to take her back to the Barns if she was okay with it. Or Fox Way, but he didn’t want to force the witches into anything - not that he could. 

He also thought somewhere quiet with the gentle sounds of the trees and animals might relax her, as it so often did for him. 

“Okay, kid. You ready to get outta here?” he asked. 

She nodded. 

xxx

Ronan walked back into the store and nodded at Kevin before heading towards him. 

“Dude? Where the fuck you been? It’s been over 20 minutes! That is one fucking smoke break!”

Ronan raised an eyebrow but didn’t contradict him. “Yeah, well I gotta go. Tell them whatever you want.” 

Ronan would call Adam later to explain, and while part of him would be pissed as hell he would understand. 

Ronan turned and began to walk out of the store. 

Kevin yelled out “What? That’s it?” 

Ronan stopped by the oranges and looked back, Kevin stood indignant with his arms thrown in the air. 

“Yeah, that’s it,” Ronan called back and left. 

xxx

Ronan held open the passenger door of the BMW, a silent question.

Opal nodded and climbed in, tucking up legs and wrapping her arms around them. 

Ronan drove silently to the Barns, well his stereo was still blasting, but neither of them spoke. 

He could feel Opal begin to settle back into her body, as she rather than the panic took control. 

Ronan knew that feeling well. 

They arrived at the Barns and a muddy Toasta bounded across the yard and jumped up to greet them. 

Opal laughed shyly then hesitantly dug her fingers into the ruff. 

Toasta began to lick her fingers joyfully. “It tickles!” Opal cried. 

Ronan settled Opal and her fluffy companion on the couch. He handed her a soda and pointed out the TV remote before walking out onto the porch. 

Ronan stared down at his phone, at the number that he really didn’t want to call. 

God, he really didn’t want to know Declan’s opinion of him right now. 

But who else could he call?

xxx

Gansey followed the GPS down a long winding gravel road. 

He would have thought he was in the opening scenes of a horror movie if the scenery wasn’t so picturesque. 

Blue sky peeked through dense branches, green hills tumbled gently into the distance. Cows and deer grazed and roamed comfortable in the knowledge that this was their kingdom. 

This idyllic landscape seemed at odds with the hard look and don’t touch person Ronan was. Then again, Gansey hardly felt like a product of his environment either. 

The Camaro roared up the drive, gravel spitting under its feet, and stuttered to a stop. 

Gansey recognised the house, but from a screen rather than from real life. It was a strange sort of déjà vu he was all too familiar with. 

He stepped onto the porch, the sound of a tv playing inside, and knocked on the door. 

The TV went silent, then Ronan opened the door.

A small creature clung to him, hiding behind his legs.

A dog barrelled forward, and wiggled its way between Ronan and doorframe, to lick his knees and jump at his chest. 

Ronan allowed this for about 20 seconds. “Toasta! Fucking cool it!” 

He smirked at Gansey, “She’s never met a movie star before.”

Gansey just shook his head and followed Ronan into the house. 

The creature turned out to be a little kid that latched onto Ronan’s leg and shadowed his side. 

“And who is this?” Gansey cooed. 

The little kid peered around Ronan’s leg, face pressed against dark denim, but Gansey could still see the bruises beginning to bloom. 

“Opal,” Ronan answered. 

Gansey paused, “Oh, you were in Ronan’s video weren’t you!” remembering the boisterous thing that seemed very far away from the kid in front of him now. 

Opal nodded, face still against Ronan’s leg. 

Gansey sat cross-legged on the floor next to Ronan. 

“So, what you guys up to?” He asked. 

“Watching a hideous tv show.” Ronan shrugged. 

“Nuh-ah!” a sharp protest cried out. 

Ronan looked down at Opal, “Okay, well how would you describe it?”

Opal threw her arms down and groaned in frustration, “It is a show about a man who has to find the biggest food he can! Then they make it and he has to try and fit in his mouth! One time, they made fresh toast out of a whole loaf of bread! It was sooo good!!”

“Really?” Gansey asked he missed things like midday tv when he was working. 

Ronan smirked and nodded. 

“You want to watch with us? This time they are putting deep-fried macaroni-and-cheese balls in a burger.”

The three of them shuffled to the couch. Toasta, the dog hopped up onto Ronan’s lap. Opal slowly became more comfortable, explaining the show to Gansey and scratching Toasta’s belly. 

xxx

Eventually, Ronan got up to get drinks.

Gansey excused himself and followed Ronan into the kitchen. 

“What are you going to do?” Gansey whispered.

“I don’t know…” Ronan sighed. “I know what I don’t want to do: I don’t want to send her back to that place. I don’t want her to ever go through anything like that again, and I really, really don’t want to call my brother.”

“Your brother?” Gansey asked, he vaguely remembered Ronan had brothers but nothing else stood out. 

“Yeah, he is a politician. Knows lots of lawyers.”

“Great!” Gansey responded. 

“Not really.” Ronan sulked. 

Ronan looked up at Gansey through his lashes, eyebrows furrowed. “I was hoping you could help?” 

It would have been a manipulative and pitiful look on anyone else but Ronan could only ever be painfully honest.

In the end, Gansey knew there was only one word he could answer that with, “How?”

xxx

A few hours later, Declan sat at the barns kitchen table. 

He had walked in and immediately cried “What now, Ronan?”

Gansey had watched Ronan bristle and close away his heart, covering it in spikes, before answering. 

They had a plan now at least. 

Declan had called the foster home as soon as he saw Opal, and explained where she was, what had happened and that she would not be returning. His eyes were weary and his face tight. 

Gansey heard snippets of the conversation. The man on the other line sounded apologetic, overwhelmed and angry. It sounds like Opal had given as good as she got. 

Declan stressed that she acted in defense. Finally, they reached a compromise. The boy would have counselling and emotional skill classes. They would be graciously paid for by an anonymous donor (Gansey). And in return, the family would support Opal’s relocation. 

Lawyers were called. Social workers notified. Local council members appealed to. 

It was hours before Declan seemed to draw breath. 

Ronan looked angry and helpless, as he kept Opal entertained in the living room. 

Gansey tried to do what he could.

He sat with Opal for a while, pretending he couldn’t hear the brothers shouting in the next room. 

He transferred money on his phone. Ronan had said, although he had money it was not the kind that could be given as generous donations. It was already tainted. 

Gansey called and found the best counsellor in Virginia. He chatted with receptionist Taryn until she added them to the list at such short notice. 

He ordered pizza and gelato and drove to pick it up, as the Barns were too far for delivery. 

He paced, filled with energy, but he was useful. He felt so forcefully in his body. The way he always did around Ronan. 

Declan organised for Opal to spend the night at the social worker's house. Opal would have liked to stay at the Barns but neither Ronan or any of them had the right qualifications. 

Ronan fought, but Declan argued they were already breaking enough rules that this could all fall apart. 

Ronan relented but insisted he be the one to take her to the social worker. 

After an early dinner, Opal pulled on her backpack, far too small for something to contain all she would need, and they drove away in the BMW. 

xxx

The social worker lived on the other side of town, over an hour away. 

The BMW was silent. Opal sat knees tucked up again, fiddling with her fraying laces on her sneakers. 

Ronan had tried to lighten the mood with his happy music, Irish reels. It was no use so he shut it off before they even got out of Singer’s Falls. 

The night slowly darkened, illuminating the glowing dashboard of green light. 

Ronan’s thoughts churned, what was the right thing to say?

“What’s her name?” Opal asked, breaking the heavy silence. 

“Who?” 

“The social worker.” 

“Oh,” Ronan thought for a second, “Magda. Magda Fairson. Why?” 

Opal looked down and replied softly, “Because people have names. We aren’t just things.” 

Ronan’s chest burned. 

“No. They’re not.” He agreed. 

Opal began to cry and snuffle. 

“Is that how you felt at that other place?” he asked. 

Opal bowed her head. 

“You aren’t a thing. You aren’t a thing to be passed around. You have a voice, you have power. These people are here to listen, and if they don’t, you make’em.” 

Opal nodded and wiped her eyes with her sleeves. 

It was fully dark when they arrived. Opal waited in the car while Ronan knocked on the door. 

The woman, Magda, remaindered him of the women at Fox Way. At first glance she was hard, distant woman but her expression shifted when she saw Opal crumpled up in the passenger seat. 

He thanked her and shook her hand.

She was patient and kind with Opal. She respected Opal's boundaries but made it clear she was in charge of the situation. 

Opal hugged Ronan tight before heading inside. 

“You have my number, right?” He called out. 

She nodded and Magda shut the door. 

That was it. She was gone. Safe. Alone. 

Ronan slammed the car door shut and took a deep breath. 

Just a little longer. Hold it together. 

He blasted the music on the way home, windows open, beat heavy and bass shook his already shaky hands on the wheel. 

xxx

Gansey was now left alone at the Barns with Declan. 

He wasn’t sure how he felt about this. 

Declan sighed, his suit rumpled and his face wrinkled. 

He walked and pulled a dark liquor out the cupboard and poured a heavy amount into a crystal cut glass. 

Declan inclined the bottle towards Gansey, but he shook his head.

Drinking to stop the circles in his brain was a slippery slope he couldn’t go down. 

Declan grimaced in understanding and strolled out to sit on the porch. 

Gansey followed and found him sitting under lamp light on an old beat-up couch. 

Gansey felt entranced by the deep dark night. It looked almost like being underwater, soft murky shadows swaying, with the bright moon piercing down. 

Declan had already swallowed the last of his drink and rolled the glass with his palm against his leg. 

“He does this to himself, you know.” Declan murmured. 

Gansey looked back at him brow furrowed. 

“Ronan.” Declan clarified. 

Gansey inclined his head, encouraging him to continue.

“You should have seen him as a kid. So trusting,” Declan’s eyes stared out into the dark unseeing. 

Gansey sighed heavily and sat down on the couch. 

“What changed?” 

“He lost the person he trusted the most. And yet he still cares and hates himself for it.” 

“He will be okay” was all Gansey could say. 

“This wasn’t confessional bonding. It is a warning and a promise.” Declan turned to glare with a weighty gaze, “Do not break my brother.”

Gansey’s breath caught and then he exhaled. “He’s the one that broke me. I don’t know who I am meant to be anymore.”

Declan huffed out a laugh and smirked, “Yeah, he does that.”

xxx

Ronan returned home, to find the lights still on and Gansey asleep with the dog on the couch. 

He draped a blanket over the sprawled man and turned off the light.

On the way to his room, Ronan saw his brother asleep in his childhood room. It was plain and mostly filled with boxes except for the small single bed set up for nights just like this.

Ronan’s heart ached. He had had too many nights like this, too many goodbyes. He sucked at them. 

He was all or nothing with the people in his life, and the process of changing someone from one to the other was not easy. 

Ronan softly creaked up the stairs, even though his feet longed to stomp. His hands were bawled up into fists. Just twenty more seconds. 

Twenty more seconds and he could cry without waking anyone. 

He yearned to drink himself into oblivious sleep. 

Ronan reached his bedroom and threw his phone on his bed before diving after it.

He scrunched his eyes closed tight, willing away all the thoughts and images in his head. 

A flash flared through the swarming dark of his eyelids. Ronan turned his head to check his phone. 

21 messages, 4 missed calls. 

Lord give him strength, why. 

17 messages from Parrish, four from Blue.

Parrish 12:02 pm RONAN WTF? Kevin called me. Freaked out cause you walked out on your shift!

Parrish 12:37 pm Missed call, Hang Up Message: ‘Parrish’ reached your message bank at 13:37 and did not leave a message. 

Ronan rolled over onto his back and held his phone up, squinting at the light, and kept reading. 

Parrish 12:45 pm Seriously, Ronan? Just answer your damn phone!

Parrish 12:42 pm WHY? It is like you WANT to be FIRED?

Parrish 12:56 pm I will call Blue. Don’t make me do it. 

Parrish 01:03 pm I’m calling Blue 

Parrish 01:28 pm Blue says she is going to kill you and that I can watch. 

Parrish 03:21 pm If you are with Gansey right now…

Parrish 04:17 pm Okay so I heard Opal was crying from Becki. Is everything okay?

Parrish 05:32 pm Is she safe? 

Parrish 06:02 pm Hang Up Message: ‘Parrish’ reached your message bank at 18:02 and did not leave a message. 

Parrish 06:52 pm Blue and I are at Fox way and still pissed at you BTW

Parrish 08:01 pm Do you want me to come over?

Parrish 08:15 pm fuck you Lynch!

Parrish 08:21 pm SEE THIS? THIS! THIS IS WHY IT IS HARD TO BE YOUR FRIEND!

Parrish 09:42 pm I called Declan. He said you are taking Opal to a social worker.

Parrish 10:03 pm Why the fuck would you call Dick the third? What would he know?

Parrish 10:24 pm don’t drink and drive, Matthew wants an open casket funeral.

Parrish 10:54 pm I won’t leave without saying goodbye

Ronan sighed. He had been trying to protect Parrish. Protect him from all those memories he had worked so hard to bury. 

He flicked to his message bank and dialled, “You have two new messages and two missed calls. Message received today at 01:31 pm.” 

A beep sounded then Blue’s message shriek out “RONAN NIAL LYNCH! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE THIS TIME? Do you know how much time I spent making that boy talk to you and now? NOW? You just up and walk out of his life? Oh, you better be fucking kidding me.” There was some whispering in the background, the sound of fierce women plotting. “ Calla says your aura is so repugnant she can smell it across town and can use it track you down. Bye bitch.” 

Ronan couldn’t help but huff a soft laugh at Blue’s serious defense of Parrish. 

They all showed their fear in anger, it was what had bonded them together and often drove the three of them at odds. 

“Message received at 07:24 pm,” cutting to Blue’s voice again, this time at a whisper. “Hey, what is going on? We heard something happened with Opal from Becki? Is she okay? Adam is freaking out here. You should call him, okay? we are going a little crazy here. You can’t cut us out of your life when it gets too difficult. You aren’t protecting us, you're just hiding,” there was a pause and a heavy sigh, “call him, okay?”

The message bank blared, “To replay message press 22, to call back press 3, to delet-” 

Ronan hung. 

He switched back to read the last two messages. 

Blue 05:01 pm You’re a dick

Blue 05:02 pm But we love you, arsehole.

Ronan dropped the phone to his chest. Slippery tears pooled at the hollow of his throat and soaked the bedsheets. 

He let himself cry for a few minutes, to feel everything he had had to control all day. 

Being an adult, Ronan felt, involved putting aside your pain to help someone else. 

When his breathing slowed and his nose had stopped sniffling he called Parrish. 

Phones were quite high on the list of things Ronan hated, but Adam was higher on the list of people Ronan loved. 

The phone rang and rang, Ronan thought maybe Adam had turned it off in spite, then a groggy Adam answered, “Ronan?” 

“Hey.” Ronan breathed the word deep, his chest instantly expanding. 

“What?” Adam snapped.

“Opal was hurt. I didn’t want you to see.”

Ronan heard Adam intake a sharp breath. “Is she okay?” 

“Not really. Bruises fade but memories scar.” 

Adam grunted in assent. 

Ronan sighed, “I was trying to protect you.”

“Yeah, well. Shit job.” Adam retorted.

“I know.” 

They both were silent, waiting. 

“You gonna show up for your shift tomorrow?” Adam said. 

Ronan was relieved, this is what they did. Fight, tease and reset. 

“Yeah.” He murmured. 

“You gonna stay for the whole thing this time?” Adam teased.

“Yeah.” He breathed. 

Ronan could hear covers rustling on the other side. 

“Okay, see you tomorrow,” Adam said and hung up. 

xxx

Gansey was having breakfast in the diner the next morning when Helen called him. 

“Good morning, Helen.” 

“What are you playing at, Dick? Don’t ‘good morning’ me!”

“I beg your pardon” He replied affronted.

“I should hope you are willing to beg after this!” 

“What?” Gansey exclaimed. 

Noah shot a worried glance over his waffles in Gansey’s direction. 

Henry was making frantic grabby gestures for the phone, his hands snapping crab-like pincers. 

Gansey shook his head and mouthed ‘Helen’.

“- and that is why I- Dick! Are you listening to me?”

Gansey hummed unconvincingly.

“You’re sleeping with him aren’t you? The sex had better be fantastic for all the trouble you are causing!”

Gansey sputtered and almost sprayed his coffee all over the counter. He stood up and walked out, trying to hide his beet-red face, before replying “No, I am not!”

“Then why!”

“WHY WHAT, HELEN?” Gansey shouted. He could see patrons staring at him through the glass, but he was too indignant to care. 

“WHY? Why would you give him all that money?” she fumed. 

Of course, he should have known she would check and find out. 

“It’s not what it looks like.”

“Prove it.” She challenged. An old wound, fresh salt ready for new wounds. 

“No.” He answered and hung up. 

Gansey walked back into the diner, trying to avoid his life for just a little longer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully now that shit is over the updates will roll out more easily...


	8. The peace offering

Ronan wished life could just be black and white. Grey was a painful reality. He wished Adam would just stay. And he wished Adam was happy. It was the harsh truth that he knew the two wishes could not coincide.

Blue had sat with him at the Barns the morning after Opal left. 

They stared out at the summer green paddock, sky blue, yellow rush seeding. 

Finally Blue said, “People only leave you if you let them go.” 

“Fuck you.” Ronan spat. 

Blue laughed, “I know you don’t mean that literally!” 

Ronan felt his face contort bitterly at the thought, which he knew was the point. 

They both laughed loud enough to disturb the birds grazing nearby. 

When they had quietened down and the air was still again Ronan asked, “How?” 

Blue didn’t get it. 

“How? How do I not let go?” he pleaded. 

“Like this.” She answered as she gripped his hand firmly. 

xxx

Ronan wasn’t fired from the Piggly Wiggly, although Kevin said they now ‘had beef’. So he guessed there was that to live for. 

He was on the check-out line. Blue was across from him and Adam was within earshot supposedly rearranging the welcome signs. 

“So Adam!” Blue called as she ran up an 11-year-olds chips and energy drink haul of death and heart disease.

Ronan smirked, he knew Blue delighted in ignoring tweens. 

Adam threw the sign he was trying to cable tie to the cart rack on the ground with a huff. “yeah?” 

“Are you going to- uh 21.95. Have a going away party?” She asked, still ignoring the boy as he tap-and-goed with his phone. 

Self- preservation, she called it. Adam had replied that he believed everyone was in more danger. 

“Well?” She demanded as she disinfected her area with a smudge stick. 

Adam shrugged. “I honestly hadn’t thought about it.” 

“You should have one!” She cried. 

Adam sighed and picked the abandoned sign back up, “I’ll think about it, okay?” 

Blue nodded and put out her smudge stick on the tip jar lid. 

Ronan watched them both. He wasn’t ignoring Adam anymore but still things were different. 

He breathed out as much fear as he could, “You could have something at the Barns?” 

“YES!!” Blue shouted, jumping up and down. 

In the distance, Jesse Dittley roared back thinking it was for him, “LITTLE ANT?” 

“NOT YOU!” Blue answered. 

Adam giggled as she sighed dramatically. 

xxx

Noah was worried. Henry was very cheerful this morning, overly cheerful, totally fine, which based on past experience meant everything was indeed not fine. 

Henry’s phone had been beeping and vibrating a staccato.

They had been here too long. 

It was the sort of place people like them only ended up in by accident, or as an unfortunate stop-over. But Noah liked it. 

The people smiled and everything was huge, not because it was rich but just be could be, sprawled out on the frayed roads and fields. 

Gansey was different in this place too. Poised, like he was waiting for a mystical portent to reveal the truth. He had been getting strange phone calls and disappearing for hours at a time…

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING? We don’t have time for NAPS!!” Henry screeched. 

Noah lurched upright out of bed, “Huh?”

Henry paced back and forth at the end of the bed. “We have things to do! Places to go!” 

Noah sighed. This was stage two of the stress attack, the freakout. 

He crawled to the end of the bed, slowly and cautiously, and waited until Henry passed by him again. 

“Henry” He wrapped his hands over the other man’s shoulders, holding him in place. “It will be okay.”

Henry pouted. “No! No, it won’t! And it will all be my fault!” he whined. 

Noah walked his fingers across Henry’s back, gently urging him close until he could be folded into an embrace. 

Henry’s body was hard with tension, almost quivering. 

Noah buried his head into Henry’s neck nose pressed against soft warm skin. 

Henry tensed, then softened into the cradle of his arms. 

This was new, but building upon something that had been in motion for a long time that it felt right and kind of inevitable.

Noah breathed in Henry’s scented hair gel and let himself have this, whatever this was. 

Henry softy wrapped his arms around Noah’s waist, wrists grasping elbows, pulling Noah in tight and flush against him. 

“It will be okay.” Noah murmured into his skin. 

Henry, finally, breathed. His breath was shuddering but deep, slowly in then out all in a rush. “Noah, what would I do without you?” he joked softly. 

Joking was good, it meant he had enough energy for bravado. 

Noah shrugged but didn’t let go of the embrace. “Probably finish work earlier?”

“I never would have guessed after we first met that now I would-” Henry cut off as the door burst open. 

“Oh!” Gansey said, “I didn’t realise you were…” 

The two quickly untangled themselves. 

“We weren’t!” Henry blurted back. 

Gansey had clearly stampeded into the motel room for something, now forgotten. He was just staring, it was awful. 

Noah could not bear to speak. 

Henry was still sputtering “.. And. We’re not!.. umm, yes?” 

Gansey just shook his head and muttered an apology before stepping back outside. 

Noah turned to Henry, he seemed stressed again. What had he been going to say? Did he need another hug? 

Henry gazed at the floor, shifting under Noah’s stare. 

“Henry..?” 

Henry lurched, “I have to go.” He snatched his phone off the bedside table. “I have to see what Gansey wanted.” He tapped his pockets until he pulled out his wallet and keycard before returning them both to his pants. 

He didn’t look at Noah as he left the room, “I, I,… I have to go.”

Noah collapsed back into bed. It was time for another nap, he thought. 

xxx

Ronan crouched on the floor in front of his couch, computer in his lap. 

Opal chatted at him, through the screen. 

Gansey had suggested this and then hired someone to get the number of the foster home. 

She was grinning through the screen, the edges of her eyes still crinkled and her lips still tight, but Ronan could tell she was better, getting better. 

Ronan realised she had been going down a dark path for a while now, and while he felt guilt for not helping sooner, it was done now. 

She was out, she was safe. 

And she was still here, on the screen, chattering away about all the things she could do now. 

She had started playing hockey after school, her foster mum had picked her up and taken her, Temika, and Ryan out for smoothies afterward at the local cafe. 

“They have a dog too, but he doesn’t lick you as much as Toasta.” she told him.

Ronan smiled, “Well, that would be hard - to lick more than this one!’’ he said as he patted Toasta’s side affectionately.

“And I have a foster sister! But she is younger than me and Terrance and Mandy say I get to be her big sister and protect her!” 

Ronan wished he could hug her. “That’s great, kid.” 

Opal shifted and blushed. 

“I am happy for you.” He smiled. 

Opal smiled back then looked concerned, “Are you happy?” 

He didn’t know, how did he explain that to her?

“Uhhh… I got to go. Talk soon.”

xxx

Gansey’s car had broken down. 

Really it was a miracle it had survived this long. The Pig was either dead or dying, a beast that survived through sheer force of will and the most superior motor oil money could buy. 

He had managed to stop in the worst place possible, a shockingly impressive feat for a town this small he thought. 

The Pig was wedged against the motel sign and poking across the lane on traffic leading to the highway. 

Gansey had tried to wrestle it to the shoulder, but it was done for, all he achieved was making it worse. 

He had tried to push the car back, or to the side, or anywhere not there but the hand brake was locked on. 

He had lifted up the hot metal hood to check the engine but found it incomprehensible. Although he knew unless it had a big ‘fix me here’ sign he was lost. 

Gansey was stuck. So he did what he always did when he was stuck, he found his manager. 

Henry and Noah seemed to be having what could only be described as a ‘moment’ when he burst into the motel. He knew he worked them too hard, too much, but now he felt really bad. 

It was nothing he could fix now. 

There were only two more people on his list: his sister (and by extension all the Ganseys), and Ronan. 

He called Ronan.

xxx

Ronan stood at the door at the top of the rickety steps above St. Agnes church. 

He shook out his hands as if it was his muscles that were unprepared to knock. 

It wasn’t. 

He took a deep breath as if it was the oxygen choking his words down his throat. 

It wasn’t. 

He knocked softly then louder. 

“Hold on!” Parrish hollered from inside. Ronan heard a soft thud and Parrish muttering before the door was wrenched open. 

Adam stood startled, “Oh Ronan. I thought you were Blue… she is coming by soon.” 

He looked like he had just jumped out of the shower. 

Adam blushed as he tugged the edge of his well-worn grey shirt over his ribs. It clung to his damp chest and his hair was dripping wet, darkening a patch on his collar.

He was beautiful. The kind of beauty that struck Ronan like a sunset, no less achingly beautiful or blinding because it was routine.

“Ronan?” Adam prompted. 

“Oh, shit. Um, it’s Gansey. The Pig broke down again.”

Parrish’s eyebrow pinched together, “What the hell is the Pig?” 

“His car.” Ronan answer. 

“Oh, no!” Parrish shook his head firmly. “No!” and with that, he turned and slammed the door in Ronan’s face. 

Ronan sighed. He knew it was a long shot. Parrish hated being used for tune-ups and favours. He wasn’t to be bought or burrowed, as he so often declared. 

Ronan stilled as he heard giggles coming from behind him. 

Blue stood halfway up the stairs laughing her arse off. 

Ronan slid into a defensive pose, arms crossed, eyebrows raised. 

Blue continued to laugh, the tried to gasp in deep breaths to calm herself down. 

After a while, she said, “Don’t worry, I get him.” 

She slipped into the church apartment, while Ronan still stood on the landing. 

He could hear them both arguing loudly, then Adam just repeating “Really, Blue? Really? Really?” 

There was a lot of grumbling and clanking, then Parrish emerged in his coveralls on and his roll of tools in his hand. 

He brushed past Ronan and headed for the BMW, “This is for Blue. Not you. Not the movie star.” 

"What were you guys gonna do anyway?” Ronan asked as he drove them to the motel. 

“Nothing” Blue said.

At the same time, Parrish said, “Stalking her new crush” 

Ronan smirked. “What? Over me so soon, Sargent?”

Blue scoffed, face turned in disgust. 

“How will you ever make up for the lost stalking time?” Ronan moaned mockingly. 

Parrish smirked, joining in, “Who said we were losing time?”

Blue hit the back of Parrish’s headrest and her face blossomed tomato red. 

xxx

Ronan realised all too soon that he had not thought this plan through. 

Which, honestly was often the trademark of a Ronan Lynch plan. He used to be a think with his fist kinda guy. 

And now, watching Adam Parrish in his coveralls rolled down to his waist bent over the hood of the gleaming hideous orange Camaro. He wanted to punch something, preferably himself. 

Gansey was hovering over Parrish’s shoulder, trying to diligently absorb everything he was doing. 

Parrish seemed to be coping with the attention for now…

Blue joined Ronan leaning against the hood of the BMW. 

“What did you do?” He murmured, he was still bewildered that Parrish was here at all. He had no idea what Blue could have said to convince him. 

She grinned, her sly smile a mirror to his own, “A magician never reveals their secrets…”

But then, she glanced away back to Gansey and her face soften. 

Ronan felt he was beginning to understand something like he was beginning to see the cluster of them take shape, even though it was completely different to how he expected. 

“Lynch!” Parrish hollered. “Can you get me that wrench?” He pointed to his roll of tools on the floor. 

Ronan rolled his eyes and rolled his body off the car. 

“Now, when you do this…” Parrish continued explaining to Gansey as he worked, then cried “Awww shit!”

Ronan glanced up to see a Gansey’s face covered in thick dark motor oil. 

Parrish looked ready to snap, but Gansey just laughed and wiped himself with his t-shirt and rubbed on his hands on his trousers. 

Parrish stood there, mouth agape, absolutely horrified. 

He began to stammer. 

Ronan hopped up to try and interrupt whatever Parrish was about to say, nothing good. 

“Good Job, Gans! Now you look like a real mechanic!” 

Gansey laughed, jovial and carefree. “I dare say, I do!”

Parrish continued to splutter. “You look like you just ruined clothes that probably cost more than I make in a week! A month!” 

Gansey smiled and shrugged it off. 

That was not the right answer.

Blue rushed in, probably to bring gasoline to the fire. 

Parrish relaxed, those two teamed up always. 

Blue patted Gansey on the back casually. “You should probably just leave it to the experts. Stick to costumes and make-believe for now.” 

The words were biting but Gansey smiled back at her unabashed. 

They were already close enough for him to know that this was Blue’s affection. 

“Sure” he agreed. 

They wandered off, apparently for Gansey to give Blue a guided tour of the motel. It was a motel. A parking lot and some rooms pretty much covered it. And Orla worked there, so. 

But Blue actually smiled and Parrish seemed relieved to be left alone for the moment.

Ronan settled on the floor, back resting against the side of the BMW, between Parrish and his tools. 

Adam would murmur occasionally and Ronan would pass him his tools. 

Other than that, Ronan let himself indulge in his most long-standing vice - staring at Adam Parrish. 

He acutely observed the strength and dexterity of his longer, knuckled hands. He traced the lines and shadows of his face and collar as he contemplated the inner workings of the Pig. 

There was a complicit silence. 

Adam saw him watching, he had been caught. Not just now but before… 

Adam glanced up and caught him looking, a small soft smile formed pressing his lips together. 

Ronan wished he could kiss him. He wished he could stay. 

xxx

Blue and Gansey circled back after a while and sat nearby. 

Gansey was trying to be impressive by talking about his most recent action film. Blue was correctly him and calling him out on the bits he over-exaggerated. 

“Alright!” Parrish called, shutting the hood and wiping off his hands on an old rag. 

Gansey leap up, eager to be behind the wheel. 

“Go on! Give her a whirl!” he coaxed.

Gansey opened the door and turned back, “Jane?” 

Inexplicably Blue answered him, “Me?” 

He just nodded to the open door. 

“Jane?” Parrish asked. 

Blue blushed, “You remember? She is the heroine of ‘The Wild Heart’s Thunder’?” 

Of which, Ronan’s brain quickly answered, Gansey was the love interest. Interesting…

“Joke.” Gansey finished lamely. 

Blue got up and settled herself behind the wheel. 

Ronan came to stand by Parrish, he wanted to see this whether it was a train wreck or awkward moment. 

She stalled twice before scooting forward in the seat so she could press the gas pedal harder. 

The Pig roared to life. 

She squealed in excitement. Ronan clamped Parrish on the back and Gansey did a little victory dance. 

Now came the hard part. 

Blue cranked the steering wheel as far as it would go and began to reverse way too fast. 

“Wooh!!” They all cried then began to try and spot and direct her with their hands. 

Ronan thought they looked comical, the Pig lurking forwards and backwards as they all sway around it, trying to dodge traffic. 

It was mid-afternoon and the school rush was a steady stream of cars- Aglionby and Mountain view alike- back and forth on the road. 

As soon as the Pig was out the road and back in the lot Blue leaped out of the Camaro. 

“Right!” she declared, hands on her hips, unphased and in charge, “Gansey, you going to get us lunch or what?” 

Gansey panicked momentarily as if this had always been a part of the plan and he had just forgotten. 

“I’m hungry” Ronan threw in. “Ninos?” 

Parrish nodded. 

They went in the BMW, no-one trusted the Pig yet. 

To give Gansey credit, he did wait until the pizza arrived before asking Parrish about money. 

Ronan would have suspected that it was tactical to wait until Parrish’s mouth was crammed full of melted cheese, but Ronan knew Gansey was capable of such malicious thinking.

“So Adam, what do I owe you for the Pig?” Gansey smiled generously. 

Parrish choked and coughed on his pizza.

“Should I have given you a check already? Or do you prefer cash? Or do you invoice?” Gansey prattled on. 

Parrish turned red and Blue was slapping his back in walloping thuds trying to get him to breathe. 

“Oh dear… Are you okay?” Gansey sounding pitying now, Ronan knew from experience this would only make things worse. 

Parrish held a sarcastic thumbs up and nodded threw the tears in his eyes. 

Finally he swallowed. 

Gansey immediately went to open his mouth, but Parrish butted in, “I don’t want your fucking money.” he wheezed. 

Gansey looked taken aback and defeat, only just now realising he might have upset Parrish. 

“But I-” Gansey stammered. 

“No.” This time it was Blue. “Friends help each other out.” 

At this Gansey beamed, his eyes flaring in bright golden sunlight. He nodded. 

“Friends.” He held out a hand to Parrish. 

Parrish begrudgingly shook it, “Friends” he agreed. 

xxx

Ronan was out in the fields, his head pillowed on his arms, staring up at the sky. 

The air was richer out there, fuller. 

He didn’t understand why Parrish, or Sargent or anyone else would want to escape into a city. 

This. This was Ronan’s escape. 

He heard car tires squeal across the gravel, and car door slam shut. 

He didn’t move, the grass was quite long and little dry.

He closed his eyes, waiting to hear what would happen next. 

He heard the sound of the porch creaking, knocking on the door, and stomping around. 

“RONAN” He heard Parrish holler. 

Still, Ronan did not move. 

Suddenly he was reminded of being a boy playing hide and seek at the Barns. Declan, always hiding in the most boring places but hard to find. Matthew, too rambunctious to stay hidden. Ronan, searching or hiding worried he was simply forgotten. 

Footsteps crashed through the brush. 

Adam lay down beside him, mirroring him with his hands under his head. 

“I could see the patch in the grass, you know.” He murmured.

Ronan dared not open his eyes. 

What if this was a dream?

What if it wasn’t? 

Ronan shrugged. 

Adam huffed out a sigh. 

“I’ll miss it.” He whispered, “I’ll miss you.”

Ronan opened his eyes and was blinded. 

Adam was turned to face him, the sun beating down and revealing his golden glow. 

This felt like a dream. 

Don’t let go, his heart hushed.

“I’ll miss you, too.” the words hurt, like a physical thing, a secret, a present, a truth. 

“Will you come visit me?” Adam asked. 

“Will I embarrass you in front of all your new city friends?” Ronan felt weakened and let his words be covered in barbs once again. 

Parrish scoffed, immune from overexposure.

“Okay” he said. 

Adam nodded and smiled that small smile that Ronan had begun to think of as his. 

Rona rolled onto his side, facing Adam. “So, why you here then?”

“Well…” he smirked, “I was thinking this looked like a pretty good place to have a going away party.”

“Really, you? A going-away party?” This was positively the most preposterous un-Parrish thing Ronan had ever heard. 

“Yeah” Adam shrugged with a small smirk on his lips. “I want to celebrate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I am sooo sooo sorry it has taken me this loong to get my ass into gear... BUT I have been writing from the end til the middle.. 
> 
> which meeans hopefully it will all be out there soon! 
> 
> thank you to those sticking in there with me!!


	9. The bonfire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is soo hard to focus on homework right now... 
> 
> we are getting close now fellas!!
> 
> enjoy!!

Blue arrived in the Fox Way car with what looked like all of 300 Fox Way in it. 

“What is all this shit?” Ronan grunted as she pulled into the drive. 

“Decorations!” She beamed fierce and determined. 

Ronan reached into the car and pulled out a pair of scissors covered in sequins with feathers dangling off the handles. “This is decor is it?” 

Blue snatched them out of his grip, “Just cause you don’t understand my creative vision!” And began unloading boxes and dropping them on the porch. 

Ronan shrugged and began to help move the boxes and shopping bags full of random branches, cord, and a million candles. 

He knew better than to fight Blue, besides this night was for Adam. 

Blue set him up putting candles in old sauce jars that still smelt like pasta and tomatoes. She began stringing them up in the trees, hanging branches on the eaves of the Barns. 

Ronan could already see himself hitting his head in the dark a hundred times tonight. 

He began filling the fire pit with branches and leaves for kindling, building it into a tall teepee shape. 

Ronan enjoyed the companionable silence with Blue. It would be just them soon he reminded himself and felt bitter. He loved Blue, he really did, but one love could not replace another. 

Gansey arrived later with his managers Noah and Henry. 

Ronan fisted bumped and hugged Gansey. 

Blue and Gansey danced awkwardly trying to hug without it being weird, it was. 

Then there was Noah Czerny and Henry Cheng. 

“Why the fuck are they here?” Ronan snapped. 

Cheng puffed out his chest self-importantly “We’re his managers.” 

Ronan laughed, “And what the shit are you going to ‘managing’ at a bonfire in the middle of fucking nowhere?” 

They both paused. 

“Photos for insta?” Noah sounded like he was trying to convince himself. He pressed his hands together in a pleading pray. 

Ronan glanced at Cheng who was making puppy dog eyes. Ronan groaned, “Fine. But one fuckup and you're out!” 

Noah beamed and turned to Cheng clapping and giggling as he jumped up and down like a hyperactive puppy. 

Ronan had a feeling this was how Gansey had agreed to bring them in the first place. 

He looked over and Gansey shot him a knowing look, fuck he had been suckered. 

Blue, ever the commander, soon had Ronan and Gansey climbing up trees to hang up mason jars and string up bunches of drying flowers. 

Ronan was glad of the extra hands once he realised the extent of Blue’s ‘vision’. 

Noah and Henry were moving large plush lounge chairs from the living room, covering everything in blankets and pillows, to circle Ronan’s bonfire. 

It reminded him of what it used to be like at the Barns, busy and full, working side by side with those he loved. 

“What time is Parrish rocking up?” Blue hollered into the trees. 

Ronan twisted to see Blue squinting up at them with her hands on her hips, “His shift ends at 4, so he said around 5?” 

“It’s 3:30! we need to start cooking!” She cried and stomped off. 

“I need to start cooking you mean,” Ronan muttered under his breath. 

Gansey shot him a look from the next tree over, elbows rested on the top of the ladder and smiled sympathetically. 

Ronan handed over the remaining jars and tried to shake off as many leaves and twigs as he could. 

Then he heard a distinctive click. 

“For the gram!” Noah crowed, holding his phone and pointed at Ronan. 

Ronan stuck up his middle finger and raised an eyebrow only to hear the camera click again. 

Blue was in the kitchen and claimed the largest knife Ronan had applying it veraciously to salad vegetables. 

Cooking was a team sport in the Sargent house, but taste was rarely the desired outcome, so Ronan had been cooking with Blue. 

Ronan joined her, scrubbing up and grabbing his “I cooked… and did you die?” apron. 

“Geez Sargent, what did that carrot ever do to you?” 

Blue swung the cleaver and hacked off another chunk of carrot, “It’s not what the carrot did. It’s what the carrot represents - thousands of years of unfunny dick jokes so - ” and with that, she swung the cleaver again. 

Ronan chuckled, “I’m all for hacking off the patriarchy Blue but how about we save your fingers?” 

He turned and presented her a whole iceberg lettuce, she set aside the carrot and grasped it firmly. 

He positioned himself next to her at the bench, “Okay so you’re gonna smash it! you raise it up and bring it down hard.” he demonstrated swinging his hands up and down. “The most important bit is to hit the core flat on the table, breaking it off.” 

She swung it once, slowing testing the angles then smirk and slammed it down in one swift motion. 

Ronan leaned in as she turned it over and pulled out the lettuce core only a few tightly curled yellow nested at the top. 

“Nice.” Blue smiled and tossed the core into the scrap bucket for the garden. 

Ronan began prepping meats and marinating to barbecue later. 

Lastly Blue helped him make a sweet cherry pie with buttery shortcrust and lattice pastry on top. 

Blue jostled Ronan playfully as they worked, bumping into him, blowing flour in his face, and tasting food then pretending to gag. 

Ronan crushed her to his chest laughing so hard his lungs ached. 

“What was that for, you weirdo?” She asked as he released her. 

“You’re the shit, you weirdo.” He replied. 

Blue scoffed and reached out to smack his arm but her eyes were buttery soft. 

xxx 

Adam wasn’t sure what he expected but it definitely wasn’t this. 

Fairy lights lined the drive to Barns, the driveway was bordered by candles flickering in glass jars. 

Adam couldn’t help feeling like he was some kind of fairy wonderland or an episode of the Bachelorette.

If there were flower petals he was outta here. 

He parked the Hondayota next Gansey’s hideously orange sports car trying not to park anyone in. 

There was no one around but he could see a plume of smoke and the sounds of laughter drifting through the air from the backside of the main house. He wandered towards the sounds slowly relishing all the squeals and cackles of joy of his friends, his family. 

Blue spotted him first. 

“ADAM!” she cried and dropped a basket into Gansey’s frantic hands before barreling towards him. 

Adam glanced past her to see Ronan’s soft smile for a split second before the force of Blue’s body hit him. 

He stumbled and grasped onto Blue tightly. 

“Steady on, Parrish.” Ronan called out, “Only just arrived and already you're legless.” 

Adam turned to flash a look at Ronan once he had regained his footing to find he was beside them. 

He embraced Ronan, pressing his face against his warm prickly scalp, and wrapped his hands tightly across his broad strong back. 

This is where he wanted to be. He let go. 

“Cheerio!” Gansey raised his beer bottle in salute. “Bon voyage and all that!” 

Blue shook her head and muttered “Nerd” under her breath lovingly. 

Cheng and Czerny were standing off to the side awkwardly as if they were afraid someone might notice them and chuck them out. 

Ronan handed Adam a cold beer. 

Soon the sun began to fade and more drinks were passed around. Ronan lit the bonfire, reaching down to let the kindling catch. They all sat around on the circle, pillows spilling everywhere, to watch the sparks climb skywards to reach the stars. It was cool but cozy in their little circle. 

Blue and Ronan lay the food out on a large table on the porch, Czerny following with plates and cutlery clenched in his fist. Gansey faffed around in an attempt to be useful and ended up getting sent to a corner to wait. 

“Were you planning to feed a wedding, Lynch?” Adam jibbed as he gapped at all the food being laid out. 

It felt like Ronan had cooked everything Adam had ever mentioned fancying. 

“No, just you.” Ronan jabbed back. There was warm mulled wine, citrus tang but with a spicy warmth that stayed in his chest. 

There was roast, food piled high with fresh roast vegetables and ever trimming you could think of. 

Blue’s angry salads and sides were lined up like an army ready to do battle. 

She wrestled greens onto everyone’s plates eventually. Gansey tried to declare his love of Brussel sprouts, she was brutal in the most loving way. 

Sauces and topping crowded between bowls of bread and chips and fries piles high salt crusting the edges. 

Desserts were wedged into a corner but no less over the top. Four ice cream tubs, caramel and chocolate and sweet berries, lay open with spoons speared into the soft centres. Cakes and sweet pies nestled safe, although some were from Fox Way and probably weren’t edible. 

Adam realised he didn’t even think to protest the absurdity of this, and he knew even if he did there was nothing he could do to stop them. 

They all gathered back around the fire to eat, plates tucked against chests, or balanced on laps. 

Adam stuffed himself full. It was hard to control his portions with endless food. 

Talk and drinks were free-flowing, each being passed easily between everyone, as the night continued. 

Eventually, conversations began to group together as the night drew in. 

As the bonfire burned high, Adam sat bundled up in blankets his cheeks flush from mulled wine talking peacefully with Ronan. 

It seemed so close to all the nights they had spent there together, talking under the stars and still so far away. 

xxx 

Noah thought he was going to lose his mind as stared at Henry’s face lit up by the flames. 

His tan brown skin was highlighted with an orange glow, hypnotising yet comforting like a light in the window. Like coming home. 

And Noah was more than ready to go home. 

He missed simple things like the trees at his local skate park, his sister’s dog slobbering all over his knees, and his bed. 

But he realised it was more the idea of home he missed, he was never really there than long anyway. It was a starting point, they would go home then launch into the next thing. There was something comforting about the routine of it. Resetting. 

This thing with Henry felt harder and harder to ignore every passing day but he couldn’t ignore this nagging feeling that this wasn’t the right time. 

Henry glanced over at him, “I am going to get us more mulled wine, okay?” Henry asked. 

He reached for the mug in Noah’s hand and brushed his fingertips over the top of Noah's as he grasped the mug. 

Noah stared up at him, warm and contented deep in his belly, and nodded. 

He really wanted to start this. Preferably in his our house, where he could take Henry to that burger place around the corner. Afterward, he could press him against the old faded couch in his living room and kiss him until their lips were chapped. 

Henry shouted across the bonfire at Gansey, who had his head bent in close, talking with Blue, “Oi! Whoop Whoop Gansey boi! You are skipper right?” 

Blue cackled at the nickname and curled over in sobs of laughter in her chair. 

“As if he would let anyone else drive the Pig!” Ronan snorted. 

Gansey shot him a look and raised an eyebrow, and Ronan blushed. 

Adam seemed annoyed at this silence exchange but only had to nudge at Ronan with his shoe to have his undivided attention again. 

A while later when the bonfire had burned down to its last logs and the embers radiated a hazy glow Henry turned to Noah. 

“Let’s go for a walk.” Henry proposed abruptly before hauling Noah to his feet. 

It was late and the night was a liquid presence in the sky. The air was bitingly fresh away from the fire. 

They walked into the dark, blindly stumbling over stones and branches hidden in the grass. 

Henry shrieked and grabbed onto Noah’s arm for support, then threaded his arm through linking them together. 

They stopped in the middle of the field and craned their head back to stare at the stars. 

“I never believed in stars when I was little.” Henry murmured and leaned to rest his head on Noah’s shoulder. 

“Why?” Noah murmured back. 

“I never saw them, light pollution.” Henry raised and lowered one shoulder in a shrug. “They were magical and I just thought not everyone gets to see magic.” 

Noah barely resisted the urge to say something profoundly stupid like, “You are magic.” 

“We are so drunk!” He laughed instead. 

Henry laughed winding their fingers together and nuzzled into the warmth of Noah’s neck. 

“Doesn’t mean it’s not real,” Henry murmured breath hot on goosebumped skin. 

“What is?” Noah turned to look at Henry. 

“This” he replied squeezing their joined hands. “And this.” 

Then he leaned forward and kissed him. 

xxx 

Everything was quiet, the crackle of the fire filled the void of space. 

Blue was giving Gansey a tour and probably a wildly inaccurate history of the Barns. 

Adam’s eyes flickered as he watched the flames, his lids heavy and dropping, on the edge of sleep. 

He looked exhausted and relaxed, so utterly different to the man he was forced to be, that it made Ronan’s heart ache. 

He briefly thought about just letting Adam sleep. He could scoop him up and pull him an empty bedroom, lord knew he needed the sleep. Blue could stay too. 

There were beds and couches everywhere…  
Fall in any direction and there was a cushion to break your fall. 

Adam’s head bobbed and jerked, “whaa..?” He murmured voice thick and hoarse with sleep. 

He ruffled a hand through his messy hair and dragged his body upright in the slouched chair. 

“What time is it?” he asked turning to Ronan. 

“Late.” Was all Ronan answered. 

Adam groaned vigorously as he rose from the chair, “I should be driving home.” He blinked heartily trying to force himself into wakefulness. 

Ronan knew it was a terrible idea for Adam to be driving right now and all suggestions to the contrary would be fought. “You want a coffee before you go?” 

Adam shook his head then paused, “Maybe a walk?” He shrugged awkwardly, “To get moving again?” 

Ronan nodded and then picked up a pair of blankets and walked into the dark field. 

He handed one blanket to Adam and wrapped the other around himself like a cape, a cape with rainbow dragons on it. 

Adam kept close by gently knocking elbows and shoulders, breath clouding together in front of them. 

They walked until they reached what Adam often those of their spot. A patch of field next to two tall oaks and paused to stare up into the sky. 

“Thanks for this,” Adam muttered. 

“The blanket?” Ronan muttered back, “You cold?” He leant in pressing them together side by side. 

Adam meant the party, all of it, but in that moment he didn’t want to change anything so he kept quiet. 

Ronan sighed and relaxed further into Adam’s side, he was a bit drunk but only enough to melt his edges. 

This wasn’t making Adam feel awake or like leaving. 

Adam thought about all the things he had wanted to say to Ronan before he left. Every time the words always seemed to get screwed up and his meaning twisted. 

Ronan meant so much to him, love welled up bright and forceful in his chest, how would he live without this? 

It was dark, they were alone and happy, the analytic part of him ached to make the most of this opportunity. 

Ronan was still leaning gently against him. Their heads rested together until a rustle sounded from the trees next to them and his head jerk sharply. 

The moonlight shone brightly and the nearby house lights illuminated flashes of skin. Ronan stood up straight and peered into the trees. 

Parrish assumed it might be a rabbit or squirrel or even a deer and turned to watch too. 

A giggle sounded out of the dark underbrush. 

Ronan reared back, “Alright! That’s it out you come!” Ronan growled. 

More giggling sounded from under the trees followed by drinking shushing, “Shhh… they won’t hear us!” 

Adam shook his head and tried not to laugh. 

Ronan crossed his arms, “I can hear you, Noah Czerny!” 

“Shit!” Noah’s voice called out from the trees, as he stumbled into view. 

He blinked blearily eyed and ran a hand threw his scruffy hair that was full of twigs and dried leaves. 

Ronan realised with visible horror that Noah’s belt was undone, his pants clinging desperately to his slender hips. 

Adam thought he was doing a pretty good job of holding it together and not laughing until Henry Cheng stumbled out the undergrowth too. 

Cheng’s hair although usually impervious to all elements was tangled and sticking out in strange clumps. His shirt was unbuttoned well done to his navel. He seemed to quickly getting cold and used the cold night air to creep closer to Czerny. 

Adam bent over laughter heartily into his knees. 

Adam tried to contain his laughter. Every time he looked back between Ronan’s incredulous face and Noah and Henry’s unkempt appearance he lost it all over again. 

“I think it is time to go home, idiotshits.” Ronan sighed seeming to finally accept the horrendous scene before them. 

Henry and Noah, despite being chucked out, were in bright spirits. 

Noah turned to smile at Henry then leap up to piggyback ride Henry, legs awkwardly trying to grasp and wrap around Henry’s waist. 

Henry howled into the night and ran off like a man possessed by a wild spirit. 

“Gansey can give them a ride home,” Ronan remarked as they trudged back to the main house. 

Adam continued to let his shoulders stay close, bumping, and brushing Ronan’s side. 

Adam grunted in assent. 

He stole a Czerny trick and pretended it was the cold that made him link arms with Ronan as they walked back to the fire. 

It wasn’t. 

It was a very different fire… one he wasn’t sure would ever go out.


	10. The phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello lovely person reading this!! 
> 
> i am sorry this chapter took so long! 
> 
> it is ALL WRITTEN NOW!! lol wut only took me a year.. so I just got finish editing last coupla chapters *finger guns*

Gansey woke up to the sound of his phone chiming. 

He rolled over to crane and scramble to get it where it has been tossed on the floor the night before. 

He was still in his clothes from the bonfire, he smelled like smoke and his eyes and hair was gritty with ash. 

The caller ID said Kamara’s office. 

He did not feel like the Gansey that no-one could say no to. He felt closer to a deflated Christmas decoration, forgotten, shoved in a corner to wait. 

“Hello, Gansey? This is Jasmine, Karmara’s assistant,” 

Gansey nodded silently, then managed a strange grunt that must have been enough because Jasmine kept talking. 

“I am calling to inform you that Karmara has scheduled a reading with the other potential leads and it is pivotal you attend. Unless you do not intend to continue to pursue the role…?”

Gansey rolled onto his back, trying to breathe enough to speak, “na- n- no. I will be there.”

“Good.” Gansey heard Jasmine tapping on her phone with hard acrylic nails, while he was on speaker. “Then we will see you, here, in the New York studios in five days, at 11.”

Gansey rolled onto his back, hand pressed to his head. 

“We look forward to hearing from you, Mr. Gansey.” Jasmine intoned, shuffling the phone around already moving on to something else. 

Gansey sprawled out like a starfish, each of his limbs dangling on the edge of the motel mattress. 

“Fuck.”

xxx

Sun streamed through the patchy curtains of the motel. It landed on the tip of Henry’s nose highlighting the soft freckles hidden in the golden tan of his skin. 

Noah watched the sun patch move with the gentle movements of Henry’s breath. 

Noah had woke up tossing turning in the scratchy motel sheets. He tried desperately to sink back into his pleasant dream when he had hit a hard wall of warm skin.

Henry.

He was still here. 

Noah blushed and smiled as memories of last night flooded back to him. There were washed through with the comforting buzz of alcohol and new friends.

They had fallen asleep here last night, giggling and whispering everyday secrets.

“I like your hair,” Noah had whispered, blushing as he ran his fingers through the soft strands. 

Henry smiled, “So do I.”

Noah looked at Henry’s hair now, it was a disaster, his stiff locks crumpled over his face and brushing his ears. 

Noah raised a hesitant hand to brush one aside. 

His hand was an inch away when Henry's face twitched and he suddenly sat bolt upright. 

“Oh, God!” He shrieked sitting up in bed and with his head in his hands, fingers digging into his hair. 

Noah froze, “What?” Did Henry think last night had been a mistake?

“Shit! Shit!” Henry scrambled to the end of the bed rummaging amongst the bedsheets for his shirt then scanned the floor for his pants. 

Noah took a slow breath and crawled to the end of the bed to join Henry, “Henry? What are you worried about?” 

Henry looked up at Noah like he had forgotten he was there or had been completely unaware he was there at all. His fingers paused from fumbling at the buttons of his shirt. 

Noah gently gripped Henry’s arm, grounding him, “Hen?” 

“I forgot to pitch the doll idea to Gansey!” 

Noah smirked and breathed a sigh of relief. “I know.” 

“YOU KNEW? Why didn’t you remind me!” Henry screeched, throwing his shirt back off in a huff.

Noah giggled, “I… umm… actually think it is better if we hold onto that idea for now.” 

Henry was silent. 

Noah looked up at him through his pale mop of hair, uncertain of Henry’s reaction. 

“Oh,” Henry said.

“I didn’t want to crush your dream. I think you have so many great ideas and you are always so smart and talented…” Noah babbled, hands flapping wildly.

Henry gathered Noah’s hands into his lap, lacing their fingers together. 

“Nah, it is fine.”

He shrugged, “Besides, I have been thinking Win-a-date merchandise would be way better!” 

Henry’s eyes began to sparkle and he released Noah’s hands to wave frantically, “Imagine. Off fear Be QUEER! Water bottles, t-shirts, baseball caps, wristbands! Phone cases! Pop sockets! Keyrings! WE ARE GONNA RULE THE WORLD!!”

Noah laughed, “Okay, Woah. Slow down, tiger!”

Henry grinned crazily and winked at him. 

Only then did he seem to realise they were in bed, alone. Henry blushed and rubbed a hand over his bare neck and shoulder, fingers trailing on his bare skin. 

All Noah could ever do was stare in wonder at the man before him and this moment was no different. 

“I guess I don’t have to rule the world right this minute…” He said coyly. 

Noah leaned in to kiss him and watched Henry’s eyes flutter shut just before their lips touched. 

They melted back down on top of the bed and all thoughts of marketing and world domination were momentarily… forgotten. 

xxx

Ronan was summoned to Cabeswater by Blue. 

He arrived to find the others standing around, wedged between tables and booths, looking lost. 

Parrish nodded in greeting and tilted his head towards their regular nook. 

Ronan herded Gansey, Cheng, and Czerny towards the corner and sat between Gansey and Adam. Unfortunately, that left him staring directly across at Cheng and Noah both pretending to ignore each other's looks. 

Ronan felt himself scowling at them. 

Parrish discreetly mimed vomiting disguised as a cough and Ronan to suppress a smile. 

Blue marched in and collapsed herself into a spot between Gansey and Cheng. 

Ronan tore his eyes away from the small delicate movements of Adam’s hands as he fidgeted on the table. 

“You summoned us, Queen B?” 

She bobbed her head and took a swig from a water bottle that appeared from her chaotically messy crochet bag. 

“Persephone had a vision… I came as soon as I could.”

Ronan rolled his eyes and felt Adam smack his arm in reprimand, and glared at him from the corner of his eye. 

Gansey turned to look between them all, eyes wide and mouth loose, “I’m sorry I’m confused.”

“My family are psychics,” Blue stated, hands folded and ready to fight. 

“Oh! How marvellous!” Gansey exclaimed. 

Blue relaxed and rolled her eyes, “Not when they know every time you are trying to sneak out of the house… Or plan a surprise…Or use the last of the milk” 

Gansey cocked his head, “True, true.” 

“What did she say, Blue?” Adam softy pressed. 

Blue huffed and cast her eyes to the ceiling, “She said to use the handbrake to swerve on to the shoulder of the road or you'll bust your headlights…” 

Blue trailed off and shrugged, clearly believing but still skeptical. “That, and the radio is not always right.” 

Adam screwed up his face pensively and Gansey appeared to be taking notes on his phone. 

Ronan scoffed. 

He sucked in a breath to rant about the pointless shit of visions when Tad mother-fucking Cuthers popped up like a goddamn whack-a-mole. 

“What can I get y’all?” Tad beamed. 

Blue sighed, “Just bring us the jug, Tad.” 

Tad turned to leave when Gansey raised his hand, “ Wait, do you have any recommendations?” 

Tad turned back face delighted. 

Ronan didn’t think anyone had ever asked that, given that the closest thing he had seen to a delicacy in this bar was The Dog’s special diet doggie treats.

“Well, let me just talk to the Manager, Mr. Gansey. I am sure we can find something to please you.” Tad winked cheekily before spinning on his heel and disappearing behind the bar. 

The group sat in silence for a moment.

“Ohhwwwwwoo” Henry cooed sending Noah into a fit of giggles and shushing Henry who was now blushing violently. 

Gansey gave them a long endearing look, he couldn’t help but smile at seeing the pair so happy together. 

Ronan just ground his teeth and tried to deny the jealous rumbling in his chest. 

Blue broke the moment by turning to Parrish, “So, you started packing yet? Two weeks to go, right?” 

“Not yet” Parrish grimaced then tried to smile, “Not much to pack… If I start now I will be done then spend the next few weeks digging all my shit back out again.”

Adam hesitated and glanced back at Ronan. 

“When are you fucking off?” Ronan turned to Gansey. 

Gansey blushed and stared at his hands, “Not too soon I hope.” 

“Well, actually. We have to be New York for the-” Henry piped up, freezing when he saw Gansey’s panicked face. 

“I’ll be here as long as I can.” He assured, but Ronan knew exactly what empty promises and careful truths sounded like. 

His father had been a master of both. 

Malory strolled up to the booth and set down an enormous jug of beer and pint glasses for the rest of them. “I hear there is a young man wanting to hear about our specialities.” 

Gansey nodded, wide-eyed, and intrigued. “Yes, indeed I do.” 

“Well, young man. I can assure you at this fine establishment we have many fine beverages and spirits here at Cabeswater Bar.” Malory spread his hands to compass all the grandeur of the Henrietta pub in all its midday glory. 

Ronan rolled his eyes but silently slunk down into his chair to watch Gansey with fascination. 

Gansey sat and listened in awe. Malory went on to explain the effects of Ley Lines and Full moons on the brewing cycles of locally created craft beer and wines. 

“Wait? There are Ley Lines here, in Henrietta?” Gansey pressed his hands flat to the table, grounding him to the earth. 

“Why yes, my boy!” Malory cried, delighted to be both understood and encouraged. “Well, let me just get my maps!” 

Malory scurried off once again looking for reinforcements. 

“Oh, Jesus fuck Gans. We’ll never be able to leave now.” 

“I know.” Gansey beamed bright and sincere. 

Ronan fault Gansey for loving a place so dear to himself so he made himself relax and settle into to moment. 

Malory returned with an armful of papers, dumping them onto the booth, knocking up against their glasses. 

He had brought out charts and maps and was now explaining every possible mystical influence on the creation of alcohol and spirits. 

“… and the wheat itself is planted according to moon cycles. I am sure you know what happens when full cycles conflict my boy?” He raised an eyebrow until Gansey nodded.

“Oh! Oh yes. Of course, what a faux-par!” 

Malory looked back sceptically, “Indeed…” 

“Well, you have sold it! I would love to try some.” Gansey plastered on his charming smile, hands flapping genteelly in the air. 

Malory nodded solemnly, “I will get you just the thing.” 

Ronan and Adam both collapsed into a fit of giggles as soon as Malory turned his back. 

Adam hid his smile in Ronan’s shoulder, knees knocking together under the table. 

Malory swiftly returned with an unassuming brown beer bottle and a handwritten label. He stood and smiled expectantly. 

Gansey smile hardened and lifted the bottle up to his lips before swallowing a valiant gulp. 

Malory’s eyes darted over his face, anxiously searching for his reaction. 

Gansey coughed and smiled through the water welling in his eyes, “Wonderful.”

Malory sighed, clasping his hands together, and wandered back to the bar in a delighted daze. 

Blue inspected bottle as Gansey silently gagged, “It’s one of Calla’s I think. Meant to help with clarity of mind and the ability the touch your toes.” 

Gansey looked horrified. “Oh, it is WONDERFUL!” He coughed and gagged some more, “I just… swallowed it down the wrong way.” 

Blue stared at him for a long hard moment before breaking into laughter, “I can’t be-lieve… you drank! That SHIT! HA!” 

“What?” Gansey breathed. 

“Honestly, I would make Calla recall it but no-one buys that shit anyway.” 

Gansey felt the sting of betrayal melt as he stared too long at Blue’s face glowing with laughter. 

This wouldn’t last long, but the best things never did. 

xxx

It was a few more days before Ronan mustered up the courage to do this.

He felt shaky, his hands trembled and his stomach was clenched tight. 

He paused on the stairs, walking out of the Barns, what if he didn’t do this? 

For a brief moment, his body flooded with white-hot relief before it was replaced with dread. He was terrified, but out of everything doing nothing was the scariest option. 

The only way was forward. Ronan forced his way to the BMW and slotted the key into the lock. 

His hand tingled, anxiously anticipating the moment they would be set free to reach for want they really wanted. 

Ronan gripped the steering wheel hard and caressed the smooth touch-worn leather. 

It was getting dark. He had been putting this off all day. Pretending it wasn’t there, hiding in the fields with only the trees and cattle and birds that couldn’t read the fear on his face. 

It wasn’t like he didn’t have things to do, lugging the chairs back to the living room, washing the smoke out all his blankets. He left up the damn mason jars, let them be an eternal reminder of that night. 

The sun had dipped behind the towering mountains, streaking shadows across clouds and closing in for the night. The world shrunk and shrunk until it was only the patch Ronan could see in his headlights. 

St. Agnes stood silhouetted by street lights, depthless in the dark, except for the small light leaking out of the small apartment around the side. 

The door slamming rang out in the night. Ronan expected to be different, it was like he was walking underwater. Timeless and weightless, his chest tight unable to breathe or move freely. 

The stairs creaked and Ronan’s boots thumped, Parrish must have heard him. 

A sliver of light spread along the edge of the front door, Ronan balled his fists at his sides before knocking. 

Adam Parrish opened the door, “Ronan?” 

The single ceiling bulb lit him up, all glowing light and soft edges. He was in his favourite old shirt, once white now a mottled grey and barefoot with soft bleached jeans beat up and loose, threads clinging together at the edges. 

Ronan felt his hands twitch and ache to reach forward, he held back. 

Adam cocked his head to the side, and moved aside to let Ronan in. 

Ronan sat on the floor, his back pressed against a milk crate. 

Adam sat back at his desk but turned around in the chair, legs folded up to look at Ronan. 

Papers covered the table: lists, maps, torn out articles. Milk crates lay next to piles of clothes, a few beaten up books and photos held together with rubber bands. 

Ronan reached and gasped the stack of photos, he recognised the one on top. 

Blue had taken it a year ago, the three of them had driven until they found a lake. Ronan had been the first to jump then pulling in Adam. Blue resisted and they spend about half an hour chasing her all of them cackling with laughter. The photo was a selfie of all of them dripping wet, Blue with a crown of weeds and brambles, and Adam holding them all together. 

“I’ll miss days like that,” Ronan confessed. 

Adam rested his head on his folded arms on the back of the chair. “We can still have days like that.” 

Ronan couldn’t stop staring at himself and Adam in the picture, at all that was under the surface. Adam always wanted to leave, it was who he was, and Ronan couldn’t imagine a world where he didn’t care for Adam Parrish. 

“It won’t be the same.” Ronan sighed. 

Adam bristled, back straightening ready for a fight. “So what? Everything is my fault cause I want to leave? That is such bullshit and you know it, Ronan!” 

It wasn’t just that, it was everything. It was the idea of letting go that made him want to hold on that much tighter. 

He couldn’t put himself back into the box of pretending, of careful looks and touches. His whole body was fuel waiting for the fire. 

Ronan shook his head. 

Adam stood up, “I’m sick of this Ronan. I won’t be made to feel guilty for getting out.” 

Ronan looked up at him, his face was set hard and braked for collision. 

“So if that’s what you came here to do…” Adam held open the door and balled his fist, “ You can get out.”

Tears pricked in Ronan’s eyes but he couldn’t look away. 

He stood slowly, cautiously. 

Adam’s eyes tracked every movement until they were staring face to face in the doorway, staring in each other's eyes. 

“That is not what I came here to do.” He murmured his voice low and rough. 

Ronan very slowly raised his hand, looking into Adam’s eyes the whole time watching his reactions, and covered his hand on the door. 

Adam, finally, let out a rough exhalation and dropped his hand from the door. 

Ronan trailed with his fingers, clasping their hands together and weaving his fingers in between Adam’s, thumb pressed firmly to the back of his palm. 

Adam’s gaze lowered to look at their joined hands and quickly flicked back up to see Ronan’s reaction.

They were so close. 

Ronan could hear Adam’s ragged inhalation air brushing over his parted lips. 

“So, why are you here?” Adam whispered. 

Ronan bent his head in closer until their noses were almost touching. 

Adam stayed perfectly still then licked his lips and clenched his fist in Ronan’s hand. 

He was fire, and Ronan surged towards him. 

He pressed Adam against the door and leant forward very, very slowly to softly press their lips together. 

Adam sucked at his bottom lip and sighed. 

Ronan reached up with his free hand to cradle his face, soft skin, and rough stubble. 

Adam leaned into the touch and pressed closer, nose to nose, then slammed their bodies together. 

Ronan huffed and let himself press Adam against the door, against him. Lined up from nose to toes, heat rating through to his fluttering heart. 

Now that he started Ronan couldn’t stop kissing him. His lips, the corner of his jar trailing downtime hollow of his collarbone, up to his temple at the very edge of his hairline. He couldn’t stop himself from finally twisting his hand into his dusty hair. 

Adam panted in his ear, every sound just for him, and clutched at his back drawing him impossibly closer. 

“Ronan” He moaned. 

Ronan moved his head back up from kissing his throat to rest his forehead against Adam’s, ghosting fingers against his chest, “Yes?”

Adam moved his head back to stare at Ronan, “Why now?” 

Ronan sighed, fighting against words he hated and shook his head.

Adam pushed at his shoulders until they were a step apart again. 

“No! I need to know!” He shouted, “NOW? You kiss me NOW?” he grasped the back of his neck. 

“You’re leaving.” Was all Ronan could say. 

“I KNOW, YOU ASSHOLE!” Adam roared. 

“I can’t stop you-” Ronan shook his head then reached out trying to grab the words back or to grab back the moment they were having before. Anything but this.

“I will not stop you from leaving.” He said. 

“You won’t,” Adam replied voice hard.

Then he said the three words he had been holding in for so long, they crawled up and escaped before he could catch them, “Please, don’t go.”

Adam held open the door once more, “Get out.” His voice flat and face closed. 

Ronan felt further from Adam than he had ever been. 

What had he done?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> <3


	11. The life of a movie star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it is kinda late but still 
> 
> time is an illusion. bedtime doubly so. 
> 
> Ohh well!! let's see how many chapters I can get out lol

It was the middle of the night. The moon was high, the night sky seeming both empty and full and the world shone brightly dark. 

Or maybe Ronan was just wasted…

He stood outside the Cabeswater bar. He was taking a break from karaoke night before he had to make his way back in for a refill. 

He couldn’t help but sigh. Dreams were like wishes - not real but felt real enough to hurt. 

And this fucking hurt. He gulped down the dark liquor. 

Of course, of fucking course Tad Caruthers is behind the bar like he lives there! 

“Woah! Lynch, you look rough! What happened to you tonight?” Tad laughed. 

Ronan levelled him his a vicious look. 

Tad held his hand up in surrender, “Hey, I’m a bartender, gotta kept up the image you know?” 

“Just pour.” Ronan gritted out. 

An hour later, Ronan was quite drunk. Tad was still hovering about pouting at him and making puppy dog eyes of pity. 

“Another.” Ronan grouched. 

Tad looked wary, “I’ve seen that you can hold your liquor, Lynch. Don’t you think it’s time to give it a rest?” 

“No!” Ronan sulked. 

Tad harrumphed unconvinced. 

He tapped his fingers considering, “How about this? I don’t serve you… until you tell me what’s wrong.” 

Ronan levelled him a long look before twisting on his barstool, “See ya!”

“WAIT!” Tad lurched and trapped his hand on the bar. 

Ronan briefly considered punching Tad in the face, it wouldn't be the first time.

“I’m sorry,” Tad muttered releasing him. “Is it Adam?” he murmured.

Ronan's eyes snapped up, shining bright with betrayal, he should have punched him. 

Then he felt himself sigh, “Yes.” 

Tad let out a low whistle, “That sucks, man.” 

Ronan just glared. 

“So… what did he say when you told him you love him?” 

Ronan fiddled with the rim of his glass, not looking up. 

“What did he say when you told him you need him?” Tad asked slack-jawed. 

“Uhh, well, I didn’t try those things…” Ronan murmured. 

“What did you try?” Tad looked thoroughly unimpressed, fuck him.

Ronan coughed and felt himself blush, “Uh. Shoving him against a wall and kissing him?” 

Tad’s eyebrows raised so high they almost disappeared into his perfectly coifed hair. “And now what?” 

Ronan felt himself start to shout but couldn’t make himself care, “NOW? NOW? He’s gonna leave. THAT’S IT!” 

Tad scoffed. 

“What?” Ronan bit out. 

Tad just shook his head and shrugged. “Nothing.” He turned back to the bottles behind the bar. 

“What?” Ronan asked again less acerbic. 

Tad glanced back at him warily then turned back to their conversation. 

They were almost the only people in the bar. Except for a few regulars clutching their drinks in the back and the Dog on the floor. 

“Are you really going to be that guy? After all this?” Tad asked, eyes hard. 

Ronan grunted uncertainly. 

“You love him? You don’t want anyone else?” 

Ronan scoffed. As if those were questions. They were his absolute truths. He nodded. 

“So, what? You just gonna act like a frat boy at a party then never speak to him again?” 

Ronan whispered his deepest fear ver softly, staring at his hands. 

“What was that?” 

“I DON’T WANT TO HOLD HIM BACK, ALRIGHT?” 

Tad threw his hands up in surrender. “Okay, okay.” 

Ronan tried to steady his breathing. He glanced around but apart from the Dog no-one seemed bothered by the commotion. 

“Don’t your feelings count too? You deserve to be heard, Ronan.” 

Ronan rolled his eyes, “Okay, Kamaro.” 

“I’m serious, you dickhead. Think about it.” 

Ronan didn’t want to think, about it or at all. 

He tried to go piss but stumbled. 

“Okay, cowboy. Time to call you an Uber.” Tad laughed. 

Ronan was done. 

He collapsed down on the step in the parking lot and waited for Ramona, Blue’s cousin and the only Uber driver in town, to take him home. 

xxx

Ronan woke up at Barns to the unwelcome sounds of the animals braying and twittering. 

“Fuckkkk.” He groaned and rolled over to bury his head in a pillow. 

His mouth was a furry abyss, his eyes tacky and stuck together. Ronan tried to roll over, get up, do something.

It wasn’t happening. 

Ronan searched through his memories from last night. 

Adam. Please, don’t go, Adam. Tad fucking Cuthers. Eww. Adam. The dark night sky outside the bar. 

Adam. Adam’s hands gripping the door. Adam pressed flush between Ronan and the door. The heat of breath on lips. Fuck.

Ronan fell out of bed with a jerk and a yelp. 

He lay there until the phone rang. 

“What?” 

“Well, good morning to you sunshine.” Gansey jeered. 

Ronan lay his head back down with a thunk, “Seriously, what?” 

“It’s a surprise.” Gansey blurted, he sounded a million times more awake than Ronan could possibly imagine. “Just get your butt and a bag over to Monmouth.”

Ronan groaned and rolled over staggering to his feet, “Now?” 

“Now-ish. And no loose clothing, it’s a safety hazard." 

Ronan definitely wasn’t ready for this, but he also couldn’t say no to Gansey either. 

“Huhhh. Okay.” 

“YES!” Gansey crowed. “WAHOOO!!”

Ronan pulled the phone away from his ear with a painful jerk. 

Over an hour later, Ronan arrived at Monmouth to find a helicopter in the parking lot. He trudged up to it, a metal bug perched amongst the dead grass and broken asphalt. 

Gansey was talking to a woman who could only be his sister, the formidable Hellish Helen. 

Noah and Henry sat on the doorstep and watched the proceedings huddled together, whispering and giggling. Ugh. 

Gansey turned to greet him, painfully cheerful. 

“Lynch! Here you are!” He gestured his arms out wide, sweeping grandly over his parking lot kingdom. 

Ronan just grunted in reply. 

“Dick we are leaving in fifteen minutes. I have to be there in time to meet with Charlotta about the benefit next month.” Helen called out to Gansey looking over Ronan with vague curiousity. 

“Leaving?” 

Gansey turned to look back at Ronan, guilty and excited. 

Ronan waited for Gansey to approach him, “What the actual fuck, Dick?” 

Gansey flinched, “It’s only for a few days. Work.” He shrugged, “Life of a movie star.” 

In his gut, Ronan knew it would always end like this. A casual goodbye-for-now that never came back. 

“Will you come with me?” Gansey asked. 

“Why?” Ronan wondered. 

Gansey shrugged. “Cultural exchange. A break? Whatever I can put as a tax write off.” 

“You can’t!” Henry piped up indignant from behind them. 

Gansey ignored him, “Come with me. Just for a few days?” 

Ronan stared down at his beat-up boots and the sun-bleached asphalt. He felt like a mess.

Was he still this person? Did he want to run away from everything again? 

He nodded and followed Gansey to the chopper. 

Helen sighed dramatically and began to buckle herself in. 

Ronan looked back out the window at Henry and Noah, their clothes flapping and Henry’s hair a solid unmoving rock. 

They waved sarcastically and squinted again the dust. 

Gansey over the headset said, “They are sulking cause they are taking a bus.” 

“Sucks to be them,” Ronan replied, already feeling awkward about the whole thing. 

xxx

The chopper was both very loud and totally silent. The loud of the wind and the roar of the engine pressed against Ronan’s eardrums like his own frantic heartbeat. 

Mountains and trees and small rivers swept by below them, beautiful and anonymous. Farms became puzzle pieces, cattle small specs of dirt, boarders, and tree lines pressed along the edges. 

“You know, I have never actually kissed a man.” Gansey murmured. 

Ronan glanced back at Gansey to see him smiling. 

“What?" 

“Will you be my first?” Gansey cooed sarcastically. 

Ronan rolled his eyes and leaned forward to press a soft kiss on Gansey’s cheek. 

“How was it?” He drawled. 

“Terrible,” Gansey replied. 

Ronan tried to look mockingly mortified. “What?” 

Gansey levelled him a knowing look, “Because, I know you are in love with somebody else.”

Ronan didn’t even pretend to deny it, “He's leaving.”

Gansey squinted and tilted his head, “Yeah, and why aren't you?” 

“Henrietta is my home, Gansey. It is where I grew up with my family. It is all I have left of them.” Why was he explaining this to him, Gansey would never understand. 

“Sometimes, home isn't a place, it’s a person.” Gansey leaned over and grasped his hand. 

Ronan fought the urge to wretch away his hand, to avoid getting hurt. 

“What would you know?” He spat but gripped tighter onto Gansey’s palm. 

“I know a lot about not having a home.” Gansey grimaced but his eyes turned soft. 

They sat there in silence, hands still clasped. Gansey rubbed small circles onto the back of Ronan's hand. 

Ronan felt himself slowly settle, and with every passing second he wished he could just take it all back. 

Just wished he could go back.

“So, never? You never kissed a boy?” Ronan asked breaking the silence. “No regrets?”

“Well, I mean there was this one time… but I told Bobby there wouldn’t be time to get him out of his IronMan helmet so…Well! Superhero movies are so go- go- go” Gansey blushed. 

“Bobby?” he cried. 

“Yeah, he said I could call him that…” 

Ronan shook his head in disbelief. “Don’t tell Blue.”

“Why, do you think it would upset Jane?” Gansey swivelled round in his chair to stare at Ronan. 

Ronan coughed. “Well, I think she might have to abandon her crush on you if she knew it was standing between you and Robert Downey Jr." Ronan let out a low whistle. "DUDE.” 

Gansey looked very concerned, “Blue has a crush? On ME?” 

Ronan shook his head, “Yeah, numskull on you.” 

Gansey smiled, "Good to know we are both idiots in love, I guess.”

Gansey shook his head to like he was trying to clear it, and then pressed his thumb to his lip, “Well, that’s that then.” 

He leaned forward and tapped gently on his sister’s shoulder.

“Helen, sister of my heart, can we turn this copter around?” Gansey asked sweetly. 

Helen swerved as she whipped her head to glare at him before righting them, “You got to fucking kidding me, Dick!” 

Gansey just made the face you can’t say no to, the one that made women all over the world watch his movies, and waited. 

“Fucking fine. Alright!” Helen snapped and then sharply veered back to Henrietta. "I heard that whole thing by the way." 

Gansey blushed but couldn't keep the excited grin off his face.

xxx  
The Camaro was not the vehicle one chose for reliability or efficiency or anything else really other than something that could be described as spirit or soul. 

It was very likely the Pig would break down before they got back. But for some reason, Ronan knew it wouldn’t because he wished it so. And so did Gansey. 

They flew down the dark lanes, lights, and roads streaking lines into their vision. 

Ronan’s whole body was singing, thrumming faster, closer.

The orange Camaro skidded to a stop in the Piggly Wiggly parking lot. Ronan leapt out the car and ran towards Kevin, who was collecting the trolleys. 

Ronan couldn’t breathe, “Adam?” 

Kevin just shook his head. 

Ronan swore softly. 

His car was at Monmouth and he could walk there. He couldn’t walk to St. Agnes. 

He just might make it.


	12. The long ride

Ronan leapt into the car and drove.

It was dark by the time they had arrived back in Henrietta.

He turned the music up loud, trying to drown out the sound of his heart in his throat.

Itself it felt as if they fused into one deadly pulse driving him ever forward.

He sped towards St. Agnes, praying and fearing what he would find, knuckles pressed hard on the wheel.

He skidded to a stopped and bounded up the rickety steps.

“ADAM?” He cried, who cared if he woke a few clergy or a neighbouring town?

No reply, but there was light spilling out of the windows.

He hammered the door with his open palm. “PARRISH, I KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE! Hear me out?”

Still silence.

Ronan had pretty much given up on being answered and had slumped his head against the door.

The door opened.

He staggered forward and looked up.

It wasn’t Parrish.

“What the fuck are you doing here?” Blue snapped.

Ronan tried to steady himself holding on to the doorframe.

Blue looked two seconds from slamming the door in his face.

“I need to see him, Blue.” He pleaded.

She scoffed. “Well, you can’t. He’s gone.”

His mind fuzed blank and his ears began to ring. “Gone?”

She glared at him, hands on her hips, “Yeah smartass, G-O-N-E. Nothing left to stay for.”

Ronan felt the ground beneath him before he realised his knees had collapsed.

Blue’s face softened a little. “Unless you can catch him?”

Ronan stood up and nodded.

Blue squeezed his arm hard.

“Oh shit, I almost forgot, Gansey is here. He was looking for you at the Piggly Wiggly.”

Blue blushed violently.

“Gross,” Ronan responded.

She stuck out her tongue.

Then they both when off to chase love.

xxx

It began to rain to thick heavy drops.

Blue was glad she had bargained for the Fox Way car, now.

She was not a confident driver but her confidence in breaking rules more than made up for it.

She thought she could manage to live by some simple rules:

1\. Don’t want things you can’t have, all it does is hurt.

2\. Don’t fall for pretty boys cause they know it.

3\. Especially, don’t fall in love with movie stars cause they are bastards.

She had broken every single one, so she was going to make it worth it.

The wipers screeched and smeared across the windshield, as she raced through the dark streets.

A soft halo of light fuzzed around the neon sign of the Piggly Wiggly, a red glow, flickering in the rain.

Blue skidded the car across two spaces and leapt out of the car.

She shoved the key in the lock, the car still had all Adam’s extra stuff in the trunk, and ran for the doors.

She headed for the entrance, maybe he had left already? It was almost closing time.

She stood inside the sliding doors, dripping onto the mat.

Kevin wandered past with a trolley full of flatted cardboard boxes.

“Oh hey, Blue, what’s up?” He pulled out a single earbud and eyed her up and down.

She didn’t realise she was close to hyperventilating. “Kevin! You- you seen? Gansey?”

Kevin looked bored and shook his head. “Nup.”

He walked off, music blaring.

Blue stood there for a moment, breathe huffing out of her.

She didn’t know what was next.

Phones.

She should call him, that would be the sensible thing to do.

She dug out her mobile and called him.

The generic iPhone ringtone sounded out across the room.

It could be anyone, she reasoned. It doesn’t mean it’s him.

She couldn't stop her eyes searching, her feet from wandering.

Gansey didn’t pick up, it just kept ringing.

Blue followed the sound.

Closer and closer.

She turned down the aisle.

He was just standing there staring at the bouquet of red and white roses in his hand.

She hung up the phone.

Gansey looked up and sighed in relief.

“Why didn’t you pick up?” She walked towards him slowly, not timid - deliberate, savouring.

He looked up at her, face knotted in worry, “These flowers… roses are too clique aren't they? And red? White?”

Blue laughed. “They’re dead, red seems appropriate.”

Gansey turned his head considering. “I suppose you are right.”

She smiled. “What else am I right about?”

“Me.” He answered.

He stepped closer until they were toe to toe. “You.”

She raised an eyebrow.

He held out a hand in offering.

She nodded.

Gansey swept her off the floor and spun her into her arms.

She kissed him before he had the chance to put her down.

She was never coming down from this.

She could feel him smile, the soft brush of lips, and the scratch of his skin.

He rested his head against hers, “I don’t know what this is, or where we are going, but I want to find out.” He murmured.

“What movie is that from?”

“Ours.” He answered.

Idiot, she thought and kissed him.

Blue pressed her lips softly against his but soon found she couldn’t contain herself.

She wrapped herself in him, hands in hair, toes reaching up and hips leaning together.

Gansey felt electric — his heart hammering out of his chest, his eyes fluttering shut and his pulse thrumming through his veins.

Blue made him feel truly alive like he was standing still and exploding all at the same time.

And he was, standing in the aisle of a Piggly Wiggly with the woman who loved him.

A trolley squeaked behind her and voice coughed.

“Um, we’re closing now?”

She turned to see Kevin hunched in his hoodie and keychain.

“You gotta go.”

xxx

This is the kinda shit he knew would happen with a movie star as a friend.

This was not real life stuff.

This was the shit you needed a stunt coordinator for.

Gansey called him on the road, gushing about Blue.

“She is a remarkable lady!”

Ronan laughed, “I know, Dick” then, “I’m glad for you both.”

“Now floor it, LYNCH!” Blue cried and giggled.

They sounded so happy, the call ended.

He didn’t know how his story was going to end.

xxx

Adam knew it would end like this.

Well, okay… maybe not

. But that little fucking voice in the back of his head was spinning out.

He felt a sick relief to be alone in his shit car, speeding away from the only people who truly knew him, into the dark night.

The radio was not helping:

“And tonight we are going to play you an interview clip of when we got to talk to the hottest cowboy of them all! That’s it, folks! You guessed it! It’s Richard Campell Gansey the THIRD!!"

Adam smashed the buttons so fast he veered onto the other side of the road.

_‘I met my boy, when you gonna love me, boy, I’m your boy. When you gonna love me, boy?’ _a voice on the radio crooned.

“Stupid pop songs!” He cursed and jabbed at the buttons again.

Ads. Next button.

“And this one for all those broken hearts. Just been kicked to the curb? Give us a call at 100-333-8545.”

“Fuckheads!” Adam cried, beginning to feel a little crazy.

It was late and roads were empty, so he didn’t feel too bad about rummaging around in the glove compartment.

“Ahhha!!!” He was victorious. A tape.

He quickly shoved it in without looking as a poor man started crying on the radio about his lost love who took his pet chicken.

He turned it up as loud as he dared, trying to block out all thoughts.

“SQUASH ONE! SQUASH TWO!”

Of course! Of fucking course! Of all the tapes his friends had given him.

He began to cry. First, just silent wet tears spilling down his face soon big racking sobs were heaving out of his chest.

He couldn’t breathe.

He couldn’t breathe.

He tried to gasp in air but it was choking him.

Everything was lost in the blurry flare of his headlights.

He pulled over to the shoulder.

That fucking song was still playing but if he kept sobbing he almost couldn’t hear it.

He was, he was… so fucking angry Adam thought as he punched the steering wheel, it made a pathetic squeak in response.

Adam screamed.

xxx

Ronan was driving so far he almost missed it.

The shitbox, sitting on the side of the road.

He lurched and swung the car frantically to a stop, pumping the handbrake hard.

There was a tree, he did not see the tree, luckily it only knocked off the side mirror.

The engine hissed and steamed in the cool night air.

Adam Parrish climbed out of the Hondayota.

“Are you a fucking idiot?” He cried.

Ronan walked calmly up to him, “Yes.”

“You could have died!” Adam continued hysterical.

He had been crying, Ronan noted, his eyes red and his face flushed.

He shrugged. “Worth it.”

This made Adam even angrier. “Oh? Oh, really! Death? Near-death was worth it then? For what? What could be so important?” He screamed.

“You.” Ronan couldn’t stop staring at him, looking deep into his eyes.

“ME?!” Adam screeched.

“Yeah, you! I fucked it up! And you can’t leave-”

“Ronan, you know I have to-” Adam groaned.

Ronan interrupted, “You can’t leave without me telling you, I was wrong and I’m sorry. Nothing could keep me away.”

Adam softened, his chest deflating and his eyes watering.

“Come here.” Ronan cooed, and they embraced. Ronan felt himself fold into Adam, fixing together as he always wished they would.

Adam wrapped his arms tight around Ronan’s neck and rested his face into the soft skin. Ronan gently stroked the back of Adam’s hoodie.

“I love you,” Ronan whispered in his hearing ear, and he felt the release of those words so long caged in his head, set free.

“I love you too.” Adam murmured lips against skin.

They stood there embraced, neither one letting go.

“This is our song,” Ronan muttered.

Adam grunted in confusion.

“Your mixtape, this is our song,” Ronan stated.

Adam stepped back and smiled, “Shall we dance then?”

Ronan nodded and found himself once again in Adam’s embrace.

They swayed together in the dark night, the radio singing out of the Hondayota.

This was what happened when you spent too much time with a movie star - happy endings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i just learnt how to add art to fic.. thanks Tumblr!!
> 
> fanart by me..


	13. The winner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it friends!! 
> 
> 2:15am! and it is finished!!

* 8 months later*

“Parrish!” Ronan hollered. “Get your butt in here, now” 

Parrish sauntered into the living room of their tiny new flat in Georgetown. 

He had been unpacking feet bare in old jeans and Columbia university shirt, a present from Ronan. 

“What?” he smirked.

Ronan held up his computer that was dinging and chiming at him. 

Parrish sighed and joined him cross-legged on the floor leaning against the couch. 

“You could learn, you know?” he remarked as he took the laptop and settled it in front of him. 

“I know,” Ronan answered smugly before pressing a soft kiss to Adam’s cheek. 

Adam smiled. They both knew they weren’t going anywhere right now. 

He returned the kiss with a soft press on lips, pulling away before Ronan could deepen it. 

Adam answered the call, then waited as the screen cleared. 

“Hello? Hello? Can anybody hear me?” Gansey called voice distorted through the speakers. 

“Yeah, Dick. This ain’t a mic check”

Gansey smiled like Ronan being a wiseass so everything must be right in the world, and for the moment it was. 

“Where’s Blue?” Adam asked. 

Gansey turned his head and searched behind him. 

He was sitting in a chair, maybe in a tent, in the middle of a sunny field with the glow of the afternoon shining behind him.

“Ah, Last I saw she was stealing food from cart service… Maybe she is off if Harmonica Harry, you know?” 

Adam and Ronan nodded immediately. 

They were both well acquainted with the local homeless man and his dog that would wait around for food at the Piggly Wiggly. 

Gansey nodded, “Yeah. Him. It’s quiche day, his favourite so..” 

“How’s the film?” Adam asked.

“Good, good.” Gansey beamed. He launched into a long spiel about the arc of his character and the journey the audience would have. 

Ronan tried to contain his eye roll by staring over Gansey’s shoulder. 

“WHAT? When did that happen?” He blurted out. 

Parrish chuckled and Gansey looked confused, “Well after he confronts his brother in the cave he is forced to-”

“No, not you, Dick! Look behind you!” 

Gansey sighed forcefully and turned around before turning back before raising his eyebrows. 

He seemed completely unsurprised that Henry and Noah were making out behind him. 

“They’re always like this, now.” Gansey sulked. “But I just can’t fire them!”

“You knew?” Ronan exclaimed. 

Parrish poked his elbow into Ronan’s ribs. “Yeah, it was pretty obvious.”

“I knew! I just didn't know HE knew!” Ronan jabbed back. 

"It was pretty obvious, Ro." 

Ronan sputtered indignantly, "I was focussed on other things." 

“Like what?”

Ronan gave Adam a long look. 

Adam blushed a little, his ears reddening.

“Harry says next time it's quiche day, he doesn’t mind the pesto but he prefers the ham, cheese, and tomato,” Blue commented, loudly announcing her presence. 

She sat on Gansey’s lap as he wound his arms around her. 

“They were having a moment.” He whispered conspiratorially. 

“Ohhhh! Hi, lovebleurghs!” She called. 

"Hi, Blue." 

Adam and Ronan waved, their fingers intertwined, and resting on Ronan’s knee. 

And Ronan knew he was never letting go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i just have to vomit kittens and rainbows for a minute and say
> 
> BIG THANK YOU SOO SSOOO MUCH 
> 
> to everyone that read and enjoyed this in any way... 
> 
> this is my first fanfic and most finished project ever so GAH! thank you for reading, commenting, kudos etc!! every little bit of it made me smile and made my day. 
> 
> I can only hope that this story helped to bring yall some of the same joy to you! 
> 
> love, love love MWUAH

**Author's Note:**

> When I first started this it was going to be straight copy of the trashy but fun 2000s movie it is based off. But now i am changing a bit, cause I CAN DO THAT?!?! 
> 
> COOL! RIGHT? 
> 
> hope you like


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